The man's heart thudded in his chest as he gazed at the newborn. Every cell of his body was filled with confusion, anger, and betrayal.
His mind reeled in a maelstrom of thoughts, each one colliding into the next, each one on the verge of ripping him apart from the inside out.
[How did this occur?]
The idea repeated in his mind time and again.
[I thought I was a good husband. I did all the right things. I was there for her. I stuck around when I could have walked away. And now, this? This… this isn't even my kid.]
His fist closed so hard it hurt, but he didn't mind. Hurt was a good distraction from the mess in his head.
The anger… the pain… it consumed him.
[She did this. She cheated on me. All these months I've worried, all these months I've wondered if she was okay, and this is what she does? She sleeps with some other guy behind my back.]
He looked down at the baby again, eyes narrowing. His thoughts twisted.
[You are a reminder of everything that went wrong. Everything that she did. This baby… it's not even mine. How could it be? I've been betrayed in the worst way possible, and you, little one, are the product of that betrayal.]
The newborn's gaze locked onto his, those ancient eyes staring up at him with a knowing depth that made the man's breath hitch.
[What is this? Why does he look at me like that? He's just a baby, but there's something in those eyes. I've seen eyes like that before—eyes that've seen too much. What the hell is going on here?]
The anger within him grew once more, hotter now, distorting and warping his mind into a single, searing desire.
[I must destroy this. I must fix this. I must punish someone. I must strike him. I must strike something, anything, to eliminate the pain.]
His hand flew up, fingers shaking with the intensity of his anger. But as his arm came forward to touch the baby, a surge of doubt stopped him short. His brain was awhirl.
[What am I doing? What am I really doing here?]
His mind clashed with his feelings in a tumultuous whirlpool.
[This is a baby. A helpless child. A child who had no choice in any of this, and yet. I want to hit him. What sort of monster am I?]
For an instant, his arm hung suspended in the air, quivering with indecision. His thoughts flashed back to his wife.
[She's gone. And now I'm stuck with this child… this constant reminder of what I lost. She's gone, and the love we shared… all of it, for nothing.]
The realization of her betrayal struck him like a body blow.
[How could she? How could she do this to me? I was everything to her. I loved her so much. But now, she's gone, and this child… he's here, and I'm supposed to love him like I love her? How? How can I look at him and not see what he represents?]
The infant wriggled fitfully in the bassinet, a faint cry piercing his anger. His eyes shifted downward once more, and for a brief moment, the fury melted away, to relapse in uncontrolled strength.
[No. No. I can't… I won't let go. She's gone. And him—this kid—he's evidence of everything that I didn't do well. He's an aberration from everything that I tried to establish.]
His gaze shifted to the woman who had stepped between him and the newborn, her eyes fierce with defiance.
[Who does she think she is? She's just a girl. She has no idea what I've been through, what I'm feeling. How dare she stand up to me like that? She doesn't know what I've sacrificed. She doesn't know my pain.]
His mind was jarred as she spoke, her words snapping across the space between them with the force of a whip. "Dad, STOP!".
The words jolted him.
[She's saying my name. She's saying Dad. After all of this? After everything that's happened? I'm supposed to be her father, her guardian and protector. But now. now I don't even know who I'm supposed to be.]
Her words echoed in his head like a mantra, her promise of defense. "If you're going to hurt him, you're going to have to get past me first."
[This is my family! I'm the father. I'm supposed to be in control.]
His thoughts screamed against the reality of the situation.
[But now I'm nothing. I've lost everything. My wife. My dignity. And now this girl, this stranger, dares to stand in my way. She has no right.]
But at the back of his mind another idea emerged, one more sinister than the others.
[But she's right, isn't she? He's a baby. He didn't do this. He's just a child. He doesn't deserve this. But I can't… I can't let go. I can't forgive what's been done.]
As the woman remained in his path, unyielding, her aura vibrating with unbridled energy, the man's eyes darted toward her again.
[I could shatter her. I could make her see my agony. But will that really set things right? Will it bring her back? Will it bring me peace?]
He looked at the baby again, his feelings a knotted mess.
[No. Nothing will make this better. But hurting him… it won't make anything different. It will only make it worse. This is not the way.]
The uncertainty gnawed at him, and the bitter realization washed over him in waves.
[I don't want to be this man. I don't want to be the one who lashes out, who destroys everything in his path just to feel something, to feel better.]
The air was charged with tension, but at that instant, something inside him changed. The man's breathing slowed, his mind cleared, and he felt something he hadn't experienced in days—clarity.
[This boy. he's not my son. Not the way I wished he would be. But he's still a boy. And I'm still his father.] His chest constricted. [And if I'm ever going to be a father to him, I need to quit pretending that my hurt is more important than his future.]
His arm fell to his side, his whole body weighted with the knowledge.
[I can't turn back what's been done. But perhaps I can keep him safe. Perhaps I can do better than this.]
His head fell, and for the first time, his fury started to dissipate, replaced by something more profound—a still, aching sorrow.
[Perhaps I can learn to let go. Perhaps I can learn to forgive, even at the cost of forgiving myself.]
The time lingered, the quiet bearing down on him as his mind turned again, no longer thinking about ruin but the burden of responsibility.
[It's time to pay the price. For better or for worse, this is my life now.]