Maxie Langford's nipples had not stopped humming.
It had been three days since the breathwork workshop, and every time she passed a yoga mat, her thighs tightened. The sounds, the rhythm, the moans—it was like someone had downloaded a soundtrack into her pelvic floor.
So when she read Step Thirteen of The 100 Steps to Sexual Enlightenment, it was with a mix of dread and arousal.
> "Sound is the language of the body's hidden doors. Listen, and they will open. Loudly."
There was only one workshop that fit: "Erotic Vibrational Healing: A Sound Bath for the Soul (and Loins)."
Maxie booked a ticket and put on her most breathable sundress. Something told her this would be loud.
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The Sound Dome
The venue looked like a giant metal nipple. It was a geodesic dome filled with soft mats, Himalayan salt lamps, and more instruments than a Renaissance Faire on mushrooms.
Crystal bowls. Chimes. Gongs. A didgeridoo that seemed far too excited to be there.
At the front stood a man wearing a linen robe, a leather necklace, and a name tag that read: "Om."
Just Om.
He greeted the group with a single note sung in perfect pitch: "Hummmmmm."
Maxie felt it in her spine.
And also her thighs.
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Vibration Nation
Om explained that each instrument corresponded to a chakra and each frequency unlocked different aspects of one's sensual self.
The crystal bowl for the root chakra emitted a deep, resonant tone that made Maxie's belly tremble.
The heart bowl sounded like a soft kiss.
The sacral bowl? That one caused a spontaneous moan from the woman two mats over.
Maxie lay back, let her arms rest beside her, and tried to stay open to the experience.
The room went quiet. Om began.
---
The First Stroke: Crystal Foreplay
The sounds started low, subtle, seductive.
A chime like laughter. A soft vibration like breath on her collarbone.
Maxie's breath slowed. Her hips shifted slightly. A warm buzz began in her toes.
Then came the didgeridoo.
Om moved through the room, playing it directly above participants' bodies. The sound hit Maxie in the sternum like a spiritual leaf blower.
Her eyes rolled back. She giggled. Then moaned. Then giggled again.
Her nipples saluted the sky.
---
The Crescendo: Gongs and Groans
Maxie wasn't sure when it started. But suddenly, the entire room began buzzing.
Om moved to the gongs.
With each strike, the dome reverberated. The floor trembled. Maxie's thighs fluttered like curtains in a storm.
Someone near the back whimpered. Another participant let out a breathy "Oh!"
Om adjusted the tones—switching from a 396Hz bowl (liberation from guilt) to a 528Hz bowl (DNA repair).
Maxie didn't care what frequency it was.
It hit her lower abdomen like a sensual earthquake.
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The Xylorgasm
The final instrument was one Maxie hadn't seen before.
It looked like a xylophone made of obsidian and moonlight.
Om played it with fingers, not mallets. The notes were soft, sweet, oddly sensual.
Maxie felt each tone like a whisper sliding across her skin.
And then—
One note. One perfect, resonant note.
It vibrated through her like a musical climax.
She gasped.
So did half the room.
It was unclear if they had all reached some sort of sonic ecstasy, but the man beside her rolled over and whispered, "I saw God, and He was moaning."
---
Afterglow
The session ended with a gentle tone and the offer of almond milk.
Om thanked everyone with a bow.
Maxie sat up slowly, hair tousled, skin flushed.
"Is it normal to…?" she asked the woman beside her.
"Absolutely," she replied, sipping almond milk. "Last time, I squirted tears."
Maxie wasn't sure if that was metaphorical or literal, but she respected it.
---
Journal Entry:
> Step Thirteen: My chakras have been thoroughly fondled by sound.
I didn't know a xylophone could do that to me.
I'll never look at a marching band the same way again.
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Next up? Step Fourteen: The Aphrodisiac Picnic.
Maxie was bringing grapes. And maybe a helmet.
Just in case the cheese got frisky.