"Damn it, where the hell am I supposed to find him?"
Dung scanned the couples strolling leisurely down the path to his right, then decided to follow suit, veering his motorbike in the same direction. The road led to a long embankment—on one side, the sea, crashing and wild; On the other, a few scattered homes dotted the roadside—quiet and weathered."
Even at a slow speed, the salty wind stung Dung's face like needles. On any other day, this might've been a scenic ride. Peaceful, even. But not now—not with his mind in knots and his eyes rabidly hunting for a single, familiar silhouette. He kept riding, until the last light of day turned hazy and faint."
"Should I head back?" he wondered. "There's no way Út walked this far out."
A jeep rumbled past, packed with soldiers in uniform. It sent a jolt through Dung's chest. Instinctively, he followed it.
Up ahead, the jeep came to a stop near a roadside funeral. The soldiers disembarked, joining the small crowd that had gathered to pay their respects. Dung pulled over, got off his bike, and bowed his head solemnly toward the altar. He didn't know the deceased but a nod for the dead was the least a living man could offer.
The portrait on the altar showed a young national army soldier. Kneeling and sobbing at the foot of the coffin was a woman still in her ripened beauty—probably his wife. Dung had seen plenty of young lives lost—sudden deaths, senseless ones, all swallowed up by war. But something about this scene still stirred him.
"How much does it hurt, suddenly not being able to see the one you love ever again?" The question echoed in Dung's mind, dragging his thoughts to that very someone.
The woman's choked sobs snapped Dung out of it. He climbed back on the bike and rode on.
The sky had begun its last gasp. Once that light died out, there'd be no chance of spotting who Dung was looking for.
"Út…"
Dung recalled the look of fury and hurt in Đông Anh's eyes back on the beach. A pang of guilt stabbed through him. "If that's the last time he sees me... is that how he'll always remember me? With hate?"
"Damn it!" Dung cursed.
The road stretched on, endless and cruel. The cement of the embankment was clean and polished, dotted here and there with figures seated, backs turned to the road, all gazing out to sea. Some sat in pairs, others in groups of three or four. All except one. Far off, someone sat completely alone, motionless against the fading sky.
Dung's heart kicked into overdrive. He killed the engine and let the bike drop where it was. Then he ran, straight toward that lonely silhouette.
"Út!" Dung called out, heart leaping.
The figure turned around, sending a strange storm of emotions crashing through Dung. The sun had thinned into a single fading line across the sky—no longer bright enough to show a face, but Dung could still sense those eyes of that boy glistening with tears.
He hesitated, then sat down beside Đông Anh, his back to the sea so he wouldn't have to look directly into those sorrowful eyes. The wind blew sharp between them. Đông Anh tilted his head back, as if trying to hold back the emotions threatening to spill over. His jaw and neck were so slender, barely holding against the sky, that they stirred something quiet and aching inside Dung. All Dung wanted was to turn to the boy next to him, pull him into his arms, and whisper, "I'm sorry…"
Dung didn't know if Đông Anh had heard it, but the boy suddenly let out a broken sob. Dung stared, stunned, as those narrow shoulders began to tremble. He couldn't take it anymore. Reaching out, Dung cupped Đông Anh's face and wiped the tears from his cheeks.
"Please don't cry. Whatever you want me to do, I'll do it—just say the word. I won't put on any more shows, hugging your sister in front of you. I'm sorry. Please don't be mad at me anymore."
Đông Anh pushed Dung's hands away, shaking his head.
"I'm not mad about that. I… I'm mad at myself. I hate that I can't admit the real reason I got so angry with you…"
"Do you know why I got close to your sister like that, right in front of you?" Dung asked. "Because I wanted to know the reason you wouldn't say out loud. I was waiting to hear it from you."
Đông Anh turned his face away.
"You'll be disgusted once you know."
"I won't walk away from you just because of that."
"You're only still here because it's your job, right? You're just putting up with me because you have to. I know you've noticed how weird I've become... Something inside me isn't right anymore. I can't control what's going on inside me. I—I lost it when I saw you close to my sister. But it wasn't because I was her brother. I was angry because…"
"Because you were jealous," Dung finished the sentence for him.
"Jealous," Đông Anh echoed, nodding. He looked straight at Dung. "So now that you've seen how messed up I am, stop pretending to care. Stay away from someone like me."
Dung let out a breath.
"Alright. From now on, I won't pretend anymore. I've put up with this long enough…"
Dung saw the heartbreak in Đông Anh's eyes and in the very next second, he pulled the boy into his arms and kissed him.
"I was jealous too, Đông Anh. Because of you."
Receiving that unexpected kiss, Đông Anh froze like a statue while inside, joy threatened to explode.
"Do you want me to kiss you again?" Dung asked.
"Aren't you afraid someone might see?"
"Sun's down. Who's gonna see anything now?"
Before Dung could finish his sentence, Đông Anh had already lunged forward and kissed him. Their mouths locked, lips pulling tight, tongues tangling in a kiss that burned. They kissed and kissed, like neither knew how to stop. Above them, the final ray of sunlight slipped away—quietly letting them love as much as they pleased.
"I feel like I'm going mad," Đông Anh gasped, their foreheads pressed tight, breaths clinging to each other like they couldn't bear to part.
"I'm going crazy," Đông Anh said, forehead to forehead, breath coming hard between them.
"If you're crazy, then I've lost my mind too," Dung murmured. "All I can think about is you."
"Are we even allowed to be this insane?"
"If we're not, then can you stop now?" Dung asked.
"I can't. Damn it!"
"That's a damn fine curse." Dung laughed, pulling Đông Anh back to look at him. "Alright then—tonight we're both going off the rails. You game?"
Dung reached out. Đông Anh took his hand, and they walked to the motorbike still lying in the road.
"Hop on. It's time."
Once Đông Anh was seated, Dung took his hands and wrapped them tight around his own waist. Then he revved the engine and they shot off into the night.
If there were music playing over that wild, reckless moment, it might've gone something like this:
"Let's love like we've never loved before.
Let's give each other all the sweetness in the world.
Let's ride to the edge of the sky,
And dream this dream of love forever…"
(Song: Hãy yêu như chưa yêu lần nào by Lê Hựu Hà)
"Út… Út… Đông Anh!" Dung shouted as the motorbike tore through the wind.
"Stop yelling, people are staring!"
"Út…" Dung didn't bother lowering his voice. "My Út…"
"Damn it, you're driving me insane!" Đông Anh yelled back, not caring who heard anymore.
"Út…"