Harry and Hermione followed Hagrid to his little wooden hut on the edge of the Forbidden Forest.
"Just find yourselves a seat, you two," Hagrid rumbled. "I'll get some tea and rock cakes. Fang, you leave Hermione's robes alone!"
Harry glanced around. The small hut was a glorious mess, with unknown animal carcasses hanging from the ceiling, a large bunch of unicorn hair tacked to the walls, and a huge bed in the corner, covered in some sort of animal hide.
"Make yourselves at home," Hagrid said, placing a plate of face-sized rock cakes on the table. "Ah, Hermione, if I may call you that? Don't be nervous, Fang won't bite you."
"Harry, your heroics yesterday were quite impressive, but I still have to say, you shouldn't have used the Severing Charm on Malfoy," Hagrid said, straightening up. Harry watched him settle into a chair made of bones, wondering why it didn't collapse under his weight.
"Harry wasn't doing it for me," Hermione clarified. "Malfoy was attacking Harry's parents with his words."
"Ah, right." Hagrid bit into a rock cake. "Well, Harry, you'd best hurry up. You saw for yourself, good girls are highly sought after." Harry recalled the 'spectacle' by the Black Lake and nodded in profound agreement.
Harry took a bite of a rock cake and nearly chipped a tooth. He subtly fed the biscuit to Fang, and Hermione quickly followed suit.
"Hagrid, actually, I wanted to show Hermione something really cool today, just like that day in Knockturn Alley with you," Harry said, pointing to his trunk and giving Hagrid a mysterious smile.
It took Hagrid a moment to catch on. His eyes widened. "Blimey! You mean... it's inside there?"
"Wait a minute, can someone explain what Knockturn Alley means?" Hermione interjected.
"Hermione, that's not important! What's important is that Harry actually bought it!" Hagrid suddenly stood up and pulled the curtains shut. Hermione watched their movements, a bad feeling brewing in her stomach.
Harry opened his trunk, and Hermione gasped. Inside was a snake with three heads.
"She's a beauty," Hagrid murmured, looking at it with adoration.
"Come out, Humphrey, meet my friends," Harry said in human language. Humphrey hissed as it slithered out, "Why isn't Master speaking Parseltongue?"
"Idiot, Master has his reasons."
Before the left and right heads could get into a full-blown squabble, Harry quickly grabbed one of each.
This looks like a species that's prohibited for private ownership. Wait, I think I saw this creature in 'Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them', the book Harry borrowed from me. This is illegal! I know Harry is bold, but I never imagined he'd actually sneak a Runespoor into school! We're definitely going to be expelled, goodbye Hogwarts…
Hermione thought pessimistically, watching the enthusiastic Harry and Hagrid. She was already mentally calculating how they could avoid a trip to Azkaban.
"Hermione, what are you standing there gaping for? It won't bite you, come here and touch it!" Harry called out when he saw Hermione standing perfectly still.
"What? Oh, oh, alright, I'm coming," Hermione stammered. Hagrid had already pulled out a bucket of meat and begun feeding Humphrey.
Seeing Hermione still a bit hesitant, Harry decided to goad her. "You're a Gryffindor, aren't you? You're not scared of snakes, are you?" That did the trick. Hermione had always been first at everything since she was little; 'retreat' was simply not in her vocabulary. So, she pushed all her worries aside and bravely reached out to touch a snake's head.
"Wow, I didn't realise it would be so well-behaved. Harry, is its name Humphrey?" Hermione asked, seeing that the Runespoor wasn't trying to bite her. She boldly picked up a piece of meat to feed it.
"Aye, aye, I've never seen anyone tame a Runespoor so well either. Owners usually cap the right head because they've got venomous fangs and attack each other, but Harry's Runespoor's three heads get along remarkably well," Hagrid chimed in, nodding vigorously.
"Master, can I bite her? She dared to put her hand on my head!"
Harry gave it a warning look, then said primly, "I have my ways of taming it."
A Week at Hogwarts
On Monday, Harry had Herbology, but he had absolutely no interest in plants. During History of Magic, he simply fell asleep.
On Tuesday morning, in Charms class, Harry's understanding of spells so impressed Filius Flitwick that he generously excused Harry from his homework. In the afternoon's Transfiguration class, Professor McGonagall put on a stunning display, transforming into a magnificent cat. The Gryffindor and Ravenclaw students were awestruck by her masterful magic, but Harry just thought that even Cat-McGonagall probably couldn't beat Humphrey. That evening, Harry took Hermione with him to the Forbidden Forest to walk the snake, and they even moved some rocks to build Humphrey a new nest.
On Wednesday morning, in Defence Against the Dark Arts, Harry started out sitting in the front row with Hermione, but by the afternoon, he'd moved to the back, even kicking Justin Finch-Fletchley out of his seat. That evening, in Astronomy class, Professor Sinistra taught them how to find constellations using old-fashioned telescopes. Harry thought it was silly; why not just buy a more accurate telescope?
On Thursday morning, Harry resumed his nap during History of Magic. At midday, Harry and Hermione snuck into the Forbidden Forest to walk the snake again; Humphrey said it wanted to sunbathe. In the afternoon, Harry effortlessly turned a matchstick into a silver needle in Transfiguration class, and Professor McGonagall again generously excused him from homework. Harry had planned to sneak his Nimbus 2000 into his flying lesson, but Percy informed him that first-year flying lessons didn't start until the second week, which left Harry a bit disappointed.
Time quickly flew by to Friday.
"Hermione, fancy coming to the Forbidden Forest with me this afternoon? Humphrey wants to sunbathe again, and I need to move more rocks into the trunk; the current den is still a bit small."
"Not today, Harry, I'm going to the library this afternoon. I'm not like you, where spells just click. I've got too much homework."
"Alright, well, make sure you do your History of Magic homework first then."
"?"
The two bickered good-naturedly as they walked into the Potions classroom.
"I'm rather starting to like this classroom," Harry commented, admiring the glass jars lining the walls.
"Oh, I am deeply honoured to earn the favour of the Boy Who Lived. But I am not Minerva or Filius. You will receive no special treatment from me." Snape emerged from the shadows, his voice a chilling drawl.
"Potter, no professor will help you now," Malfoy snickered triumphantly from the side. Harry ignored him, and Malfoy's face darkened further.
"Blast Potter..."
"Silence! Now, we begin class." Snape glared at Malfoy. "You are here to learn... I can teach you how to bottle glory... only fools bother."
"Potter!" Snape suddenly snapped. "What would I get if I added powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood?"
"The Draught of Living Death."
"Address me as 'Professor'! Did your father not teach you manners?!"
"Next question. Where would you look if I asked you to find me a bezoar? What is the difference between monkshood and wolfsbane?" Snape continued to question, but Harry merely stared at him with a cold expression.
The classroom fell silent. Hermione slowly lowered her raised hand.
"Potter, are you deaf? I asked you where..."
"Certainly not in your hair, Professor. It's far too greasy." Harry suddenly interrupted Snape, a sneer in his voice.
A triumphant smirk seemed to flicker across Snape's face. "Aha, it seems our Mr. Boy Who Lived has a sense of humour. For your humour, Gryffindor will lose three points, and for disrespecting a professor, Gryffindor will lose another three points. Now, allow me to provide you with the answers to these questions... why aren't you writing this down?"
After class, Hermione grabbed Harry's arm. "Harry, you shouldn't get into a conflict with Professor Snape in class. You won't win against him."
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