I was applying light shades of colors on my face, adorning it. Calix initially roamed around my room, questioning several objects and pictures here and there, yet he stood by my side now, as concentrated as I was—perhaps of exceptional focus that defeats my own.
I glanced at him through the mirror, seeing a light crease in between his brows as his hands created their art through my hair. Apparently, he is capable of becoming a hair stylist as well.
I chuckled lightly, before returning my attention towards my face as I applied eyeliner. It was a significant day, and as much as I wouldn't want to waste another second of the day cooped up in this room, simply doing my makeup—I would neither want to leave with an ordinary appearance. After all, Calix is by my side, therefore none of the time here truly is wasted.
"Why're you smiling to yourself?" he asks, eyeing me through the mirror.
My smile widened, "nothing. Just excited," I giggled.
He placed his hand over his chest, inhaling, "me too."
"I wanna feel," I say, reaching my hand out as he steps closer and places my hand over his beating heart.
His heart beats for me. For us.
It was loud, heavy, and rapid. It was impressive how he could stand and seem ever so unbothered and calm when this maelstrom is occurring inside him.
"How do you stay so calm?"
He grins, stepping back as he returns his hands on the artwork that my hair was. "It's not how. It's why, and the answer is because it's a good thing."
"A good thing?" I repeat in question, as I feel the way his fingers tangle with my hair, pulling gently, and providing attention to each one. I could melt in his gentleness.
"Yeah. No reason to panic or feel anxious if it's a good thing, right?" he returns a question.
I thought of his answer for a moment, "but why?"
"Hm?" he halts his hand movements for a moment.
"Why would you hide your happiness like that?"
"I wouldn't say it's hiding your happiness. I'd say it's.. more like, controlling your happiness. Because, if you think about it carefully, it's not difficult to be happy and all excited right? But let's say, if sleets start to fall today and we can't go through our day smoothly, then you would be unhappy, right? So, if you could control it, you can think more rationally and consider back up plans in case bad things happen. Then, you could remain happy since you're prepared. At least, that's what I think," he grins brightly at me.
I stared at him in admiring silence, "I love how you think," I compliment.
"Thank you, my love." He places a kiss on my head as he clips and ties my hair tightly, securing his art.
I spun my head around as I stared at my reflection through the mirror, adoring the crown braid that Calix had made for me. It was a crown braid that stood over my excess hair flowing down.
I look..
"Gorgeous. Let's go?" Calix says, offering his hand which I accepted gratefully.
I grabbed my purse, scanning my appearance lastly in the large mirror before heading out of my room.
I'd worn a blue, silk, midi dress, layered over a short, white, wool mantle topped with a matched shade of blue as a scarf. My feet rested in knee-high boots, as I held onto a white-blue patterned purse. Calix wore simple pants, with a white collared shirt and a blue sweater layered over.
We linked our hands together as we headed to the parking lot, and he guided me in the car. He started the engine as he moved the steering wheel, "where are you taking me?" I asked him, in which he smiled.
"The stars," he answers, and his foot presses on the pedal as the car speeds up.
The car drove for hours, and we had to stop at a gas station. We began by afternoon, and continued to move through the road.
"It's pretty far, you alright?" Calix turned his head as he gazed with concern in his eyes.
"Yup, no worries. How much longer, though?"
"Probably half an hour."
"So we'll arrive by evening?"
"Yeah, likely. We'll be home late, too," he cautioned.
"You told me that yesterday already. I'll be fine, I promise."
I enjoyed the view as the bright sky transitioned to evening, the range of colors splat onto the sky canvas as they created an infinite amount of artwork through its process of transition. I watched as the bright, far sun grew farther and smaller, and dimmer, until it's completely swallowed by the clouds and a variety of colors invaded the current artwork, before interfered by another, creating another piece of art, and a repeated process the entire way.
After half an hour, I felt my stomach churning as I realized hunger was affecting me now. However, as my hunger came, so did we arrive at the designated location Calix had decided. I exited the car as Calix grips my hand, leading the way.
I observed our surroundings. It was empty, void of any other individuals and occupied completely with dilapidated buildings—some of ashes. I eyed everything suspiciously, rigidly hanging onto Calix's hand.
"I used to live here with my parents, then moved to the place you saw them last time," he says, stepping his feet up on a stair of an old building, yet not ruined. It seemed to lead to the rooftop.
"This place has been abandoned for a pretty long time, so it's just us tonight," he states.
"Why do you—" the words I meant to say flew out of my tongue as the rooftop land was displayed to me.
It was very personalized, to put simply. Everything on the rooftop screams Calix, and effort. I stepped forward, trying to absorb and assimilate every thing that Calix had prepared effortfully for this day.
There was a large blue, checkered, picnic blanket in the middle, placed on top of a white, soft mattress. There were blankets by the side, and candle lanterns adorned surrounding it to ensure warmth through the weather. There were several adorable plushies scattered around, and a short-heighted, long-width table by the edge of the picnic blanket, near the end of the rooftop to eat.
'The stars', huh. Star-gazing.
He was staring at me as I imbibed in the results of his efforts for this special day. His eyes held unease and uncertainty which, despite his seemingly calm and observing demeanor—his heavy, jittery breathing, and the subtle crease on his forehead, along with the slight downturn of his lips—I could see through his facade, and know just how anxious he is of my reaction.
I tugged Calix, wrapping my arms around him in an embrace.
"Thank you," I sobbed, shedding a tear.
"It's the best birthday I've had, thank you." I sniffled, the cold beginning to freeze my nose, and Calix offered warmth as he returned the embrace, holding my head gently as he rubs my back lightly. I could feel the tension in his body disappearing as we held each other.
"I'm glad," he says, and I could hear the relief interlaced in his voice.
"When did you prepare this?" I asked, retreating slightly as I lifted my head, yet my arms stayed in their positions to engulf him.
He responds, "uh.. I forgot." He smiles sheepishly.
I sighed, but opted to leave it be.
I took my shoes off as I seated myself on the picnic blanket, grabbing one of the plushies. "Did you buy this?" my eyes darted at Calix, who slipped his shoes off and crawled on the blanket towards me.
"No, my parents got that for me as a kid but I never really needed it so I never used it. But I still took care of it, so it doesn't get worn out," he explains. I nodded in understanding as I comprehend his answer.
He settled in the position right beside me as his arm snakes around my back and grabbed onto my waist, pulling me closer as our bodies met. I leaned my head on him as I felt the warmth of his hand over the fabric. His thumb kneaded through the clothing on my skin lightly. My eyes directed up at him and I felt shyness emerging as he gazed at me with a confident undertone, as if he had not a single hesitation of us.
"How are you so warm?" I questioned, sighing as his warmth spread through the area, stabilizing the cold in my body slightly.
"How are you so cold?" he asks the opposite question.
"It's winter," I told him, pouting as I inhaled a cool breath of air which pains my lungs.
"There's over 20 candle lanterns surrounding us. Should I grab one for you to hold?" he returns an answer to my previous question, and offers a suggestion.
I shook my head, "don't leave. Just hug me."
He adjusts himself, his arm leaving me as he undresses his sweater, leaving him in his shirt. He hands me his sweater, and I undid my scarf along with my mantle as I shivered when the air stabbed my naked shoulders, immediately slipping his sweater over my dress. The length of the sleeves didn't allow the appearance of my fingers to show, which provides further warmth. I redo my scarf around my neck as I placed the mantle over my legs.
Once Calix sees that I've settled in the adjustments for my comfort, he shifts his body as his arms and legs encircle my body, spoiling me in further warmth.
I smiled against him, burying myself in the warmth and in him.
"Are you hungry?" he murmurs.
I nod, "yeah, but it can wait."
My head rose slightly as a thought appeared, "how're you gonna get food?"
His body vibrates as he chuckles, "I've brought it, don't worry."
I lowered my head, staying connected to his chest. "What's the menu for tonight?"
"You'll see. I cooked some of my favorite foods, I hope you like them."
"I do."
He laughs, "what? You haven't even–"
"I don't need to try it first to know. I know I'd like them."
"Well, thank you nonetheless."
"Just facts," I mumbled.
I felt his embrace loosening as I retrieved my body away as well, he stared down on me with a light smile, "I'm hungry too. Let's eat," he states. I nodded as I crawled over near the tables and adjusted my mantle, secured over my legs.
Calix vanished from sight temporarily, before reappearing and seating himself beside me. He placed the variety of well-packed food on the table as he urged me to eat.
I ate.
"See? Told you, I do like it." My lips curved upwards as I chewed on his food.
"What is this?" I asked, my spoon afloat as it held the food I referred to.
"It's a food mom often made for me when I was younger, and she gave me the recipe. But it doesn't have a name, and it's not a common food either," he explains as he had another bite of his food.
"Damn, does she sell this in her restaurant?" I inquire, and he chuckles softly.
"No, it's just a family thing," he smiles apologetically.
"Well, it's okay. You can make it for me then?" I grinned at him.
He nods as his hand reaches up and rests on top of my head, his fingers tangling with my strands as they rubbed gently, soothingly. "Of course, anything you want."
By nighttime, we'd finished dinner. Calix packed the containers and bowls back in the same bag he took them out from, then he pulled out wet wipes which he provided for us both. We sanitized our hands using them, then I decided to lay down on my side, squeezing a plushie tight in my arms. Calix followed, and we faced each other. The night's moon casted a soft glow on Calix, and he was ethereal.
"Why'd you move away?" I begin to create a conversation.
My reflection perished in his eyes as the memories of his past replaced me, "this town was originally to be used by the government for infrastructure development, but it got canceled after some parts had been torn down."
I nodded in understanding as I contemplated on disclosing the weight that's been placed in my heart for the past year completely.
"You know, I.. Actually, a year ago.. I was really ambitious. I was too ambitious, and I had a relationship, right? I never realized he was struggling, until.. we got into a fight, because I was too busy for him, and at the time I thought he was too clingy. The day after, he committed suicide, and there was a note he wrote for me. I think now, I'm starting to be able to move on past that.. but, it's still really scary." I confessed in guilt as I changed my position, lying on my back so I wouldn't be able to see Calix's expression as I stared at the night sky.
"I'll never do that to you. If I'm struggling, I'll say it straightforward, alright? You'll know, and no matter what, I'm always with you. Remember that, okay?" he declares, gently taking my hand which his lips meet.
"Thank you," I say, turning my head to meet his gaze.
He adjusts his position as his back lies on the blanket now, eyes shimmering with the stars' reflection. I spun my head, and my eyes widened, seeing the multiplication of stars in comparison to the former minute. Those tiny bright lights began to shoot down through the darkness as my eyes were expanded, engrossed in mesmerization.
"I used to love coming up here to star-gaze. It's the best view ever," Calix spoke up.
"It is," I replied, turning my head to see his already turned towards me, the entirety of his eyes solely containing my reflection. My heart fluttered at his implication, palpitating loudly.
His arm reached out, gently caressing my nape as he pulled me close, and delivered his love through his lips, to mine.
He retrieves, creating a close distance. "Happy birthday, Aslynne," he mutters to my lips.
I gave him a short peck, "happy one month anniversary, Calix."
I rotated my body again, letting my back rest on the fabric beneath. "I could sleep here," I sighed as I breathed the cool air.
"Want to?" he asked genuinely.
"Could I?" I returned.
"Yeah, of course. I used to fall asleep here back then, all the time."
"But it's winter."
"I've got enough layers of blankets to make sure the cold doesn't get to you. Plus there's me."
"Plus there's you?" I laughed.
"Yup," he pops the last letter.
"What time is it?" I asked.
"About 8 pm," he answers, before gasping.
"Oh, right—" he shuffles through as the warmth on my side dissipates, though his scent lingers.
He returned with a notebook, and I sat up, straightening my back. He sat beside me, laying a thick blanket over our lap. "Your present," he says, grinning as he offers the book.
"Thank you," I smile, accepting it.
"Can I open it?"
He chuckles, "yes, my love."
I inhaled as I opened the cover, seeing the sketches. My eyes widened as they twinged and my vision blurred. I dropped the book on my lap as I turned my body and engulfed myself in him, "thank you," I choked.
I unwrapped myself around him after a moment, wiping my moistened eyes. "I seem to cry a lot when I'm with you," I paused, laughing. "I promise I'm actually not this much of a cry baby," I grin as another tear sheds down my cheek.
His finger stops the journey of my tears as he wipes the dampness gently. "It's okay, thank you for letting me see you in such a vulnerable state. It means a lot to me," he says, smiling pensively.
"What does?"
"Your trust, and comfortability towards me."
"Well, keep going. I want you to see what I see about you." He continues, stroking my head.
I picked up the book from my lap as I continued flipping through the pages.
Me, walking. My hair waves through the air as the breeze breathes. The corner of my lips upturned, and my lips glowed with light, as my eyes were bright.
Me, smiling awkwardly. The sight of my dimples revealed as my smile lopsided and narrow, my eyes had a shimmer of shyness and my cheeks were shaded a soft hue.
Me, frowning. The crease in between my eyebrows and the downturn of my lips, while my eyes were glimmering with frustration, and the tiny pout of my lips, which seemed soft.
Me, drinking coffee. The subtle expansion of my eyes and rosy tint on my cheeks from the taste of the caffeine. My thinner fingers collaborated to hold the handle of the mug, which covered nearly half of my face, leaving my eyes to be seen, and to see.
Me, staring at someone. The concentration in my eyes as they reflected the target of my focus, slightly widened as I stared blatantly.
Me, writing. The piece of paper I held firmly while the handwritten font contained vowels, consonants, words, and sentences which was the result of my hand, and the pen. My expression as I submerged into my writing, into the world of imagination and visual words.
Me, reading. The book I gripped with both hands as my eyes were hollow, a state of immersion as I was no longer in the present, yet within the timelines, and surroundings of the scene presented in the accumulated and stacked upon pieces of papers.
"Oh my gosh, is that.. So that's what you were scribbling on your notebook in Esther's cafe!" I exclaimed, my eyes bulging.
"Yeah, scribbling you."
"Oh—why does my lips look so.. um, kissable?"
"Well, it's just my point of view," he shrugs. I felt the fluster heat my face as I hit him lightly, covering my face.
"Do you just draw people for no reason? Or like.."
"No. I draw pretty things only."
"Awh, thank you.." I say, feeling shyness creeping up.
"So when did you start to.. do this?" I continue, inquiring him out of curiosity.
"I think, a month before our encounter. I saw you in the library, and at first I didn't think much. But then you were speaking to someone and you smiled, and I had to draw that."
I smiled, feeling my heart performing gymnastics as my stomach acid flares up, feeling paradise blaring.
I closed the precious treasure that I'd scrutinized every page of, staring at Calix.
"What do you think? Pretty, right?" he teases, grinning playfully.
"Yeah," I lowered my gaze, breathing in the moment. The very moment I wished time would cease to exist, to leave us unconscious and unbothered by the ticking time, and to simply live with each moment of my life.
"Now my turn!" I said enthusiastically, stretching my arm as I grabbed my purse and unzipped it open, grabbing a thin book.
"Our one month anniversary present." I offered him the book.
He examines the cover, before flipping the page open. "What.. Is this a collection of poems?" he questions.
"Yeah, read them carefully. It's your turn to see yourself through me."
"Gentle as a feather," he begins a poem.
"One that caresses me every day.."
"Eyes of the moon's,"
"Eyes mine to hold,"
"Yet, it was not."
"We are not,"
"And we won't."
"We shouldn't,"
"Right?" he completes, stating the title.
I feel my lips stretching far and wide—so much that my cheeks begin to hurt and feel sore. I glanced at him, slightly anxious of his serious expression.
"That was when I was um, kind of in denial," I explained, hoping he did not feel too perplexed.
I didn't dare see him in the eyes, albeit I felt his attention on me.
Then I felt his eyes direct elsewhere, and I glanced to see what—only to meet his eyes as he leaned forward and kissed me.
As our lips clashed, water dropped on my cheek. My hand rises as it cups his cheek, and I feel his skin soaked, and he releases me as my eyes open and I gazed at him in solace, seeing the glistening pour of a tear trailing down on his face while he smiles softly.
"Thank you, Aslynne," he latched his arms onto me, and I provided him the embrace he needed. My palm placed on his back gently moves up and down, applying light pressure in attempts to soothe him.
"I love you, my Chloris." He whispers softly, his breath touching my neck.
"I love you, my Calyx."
It was a starry night, yet the brightest star to burn was right in my arms.
My only salvation of the freezing cold.