"You sure this is your hideout?" I asked, raising a brow at the haphazard mess of wood and stone leaning drunkenly on a hillside.
Yami smirked, holding a lit cigarette between his fingers. "You got somethin' to say, newbie?"
Asta, beside me, stared wide-eyed at the strange, misshapen building like it had grown out of a nightmare. "This is the Black Bull base?!"
"Yeah," Yami muttered, motioning us through the swirling portal Funeral had conjured behind us, "home sweet hell."
The spatial magic warped behind us as we stepped through, solid ground forming underfoot as we arrived on the other side of the kingdom.
A creaking sound echoed from above.
Suddenly
BOOM!
The front doors of the hideout exploded open, and a blast of flames surged out toward us.
"Welcome home, Yami!" shouted a wild voice from inside.
A huge fireball screamed toward our faces.
I stepped forward, raised my palm, and pulsed my magic outward.
A visible ripple of shockwaves burst from my hand, stopping the fire mid-air. The flames twisted and were reflected back blasting into the building with a muffled BOOM.
Asta wasn't so lucky—he got clipped on the side and spun like a top.
"AAAAHH! IT'S HOT! IT'S HOT!!!"
He darted around, smacking his head with his hands.
Yami just grinned. "Welcome to the worst Magic Knight squad in the Clover Kingdom."
---
We stepped inside the hideout.
The place was worse on the inside than the outside. Floors uneven, stairs half-floating in mid-air, and furniture either on fire, upside down, or alive.
Smoke wafted out from the kitchen, and the loud sound of retching echoed from the corner.
A woman in a revealing outfit staggered out, nearly falling into a potted plant.
"Ughhh…" she groaned, bottle in hand. "Who… who're the newbies?"
"Vanessa," Yami barked, "keep your guts inside you for once."
"Can't promise that, Captain…" she slurred and collapsed onto a beanbag.
Beside her, a man with glowing eyes and neat hair muttered something while clutching a picture frame.
"Sweet… lovely Marie… your brother missed you so much today…"
"Don't mind Gauche," Yami muttered. "He's a creep, but mostly harmless."
From behind me, Asta stood proudly, arms folded. "I'm gonna be the Wizard King someday!"
An awkward pause followed.
"…Yeah, you and every other magic knight who ever lived," someone said.
Just then, a squawking sound drew everyone's attention.
A small bird flapped in through a window, circled twice, then landed on Asta's head.
A black-feathered anti-magic bird.
I held back a smirk.
"Hello," I said, glancing at her.
She blinked.
I winked.
She blinked again tilted her head and promptly pecked Asta.
So much for ancient understanding.
---
Yami clapped once, loudly.
"Alright, listen up, degenerates. We got two new recruits."
He gestured to Asta, who stood tall. "This one's loud and swings around a big sword."
"Hi! I'm Asta, from Hage Village!" Asta saluted. "Even without magic, I'll be Wizard King!"
Murmurs passed through the group.
Then Yami pointed to me. "This one's… weirdly calm. Strong too. Name?"
I stepped forward. "Adam Malek. Quake magic."
Magma, now recovered from the flame rebound earlier, muttered under his breath. "More like 'send-my-fire-back-at-me' magic…"
Yami puffed smoke. "Now comes your initiation. Magna, you're up."
Magna tensed. "Why me?!"
Yami gave him a sideways glance.
"…Fine!"
He pointed at Asta, then at a wide ring-like area.
"Let's see if you got the stones, runt."
---
Initiation Test – Asta vs Magna
Magna conjured a flaming bat and grinned like a punk with something to prove.
"You get one shot! Hit me, if you can!"
Asta nodded, pulling out his giant anti-magic sword from its grimoire. The air trembled faintly with its presence.
Several Black Bulls leaned over the railing to watch.
Magna shot forward, fire spiraling around him like a wheel. Asta screamed his usual strategy and leapt to meet him head-on.
Magnet threw a fireball.
Asta was knocked back but not down.
"C'mon, shrimp!" Magna growled, launching another barrage of fireballs.
Asta rolled and charged again, his brute strength and instincts winning out over Magna's flair.
He also managed to deflect a fireball.
In a final reckless swing, Asta smashed Magna's fire bat and knocked him flat.
Groaning on the ground, Magna chuckled. "Okay, okay… kid's got guts."
Yami gave a nod. "You pass."
Asta cheered, raising both fists.
---
Initiation Test – Adam vs Luck Voltia
Then came my turn.
Yami turned to Luck, who was practically vibrating with glee.
"You're up, psycho."
Luck cracked his neck. "Yessss. I've been waiting for this guy…"
He jumped into the ring before I could move.
"You deflected Magna's fire without even flinching," he said, grinning with a predator's focus. "I wanna see what else you can do!"
Yami folded his arms. "Try not to kill each other."
The rest of the Black Bulls backed up.
The moment the bell rang Luck vanished in a crackle of lightning.
Fast.
But not fast enough.
I didn't dodge. I didn't block.
Instead, I let his electric punch connect.
BZZZ-THOOM!
But I just send a shockwave burst from my chest, rippling outward and launching Luck backward into the far wall.
He cracked the stone, dropped, and skidded.
"Whoa!!" Magna yelled. "He just blasted him away like nothing!"
Before the dust could settle, Luck was already smiling. Lightning danced around his arms.
"YES! That's it!"
He dashed forward again, fists sparking.
But every time he struck, I deflected with vibration pulses. Lightning cracked. Wind howled. But he couldn't land a hit.
I let the fifth clash slide past me, then slammed a quake-line through the ground.
Luck's footing shattered. He staggered.
I appeared behind him and released a point-blank pulse.
CRACK!
He hit the ground face-first.
This time, I walked over, placed my foot lightly on the back of his head, and looked at the others.
"Seriously? This guy?" I said dryly. "He's got the strength of a wet towel."
Gasps all around.
Luck chuckled despite the boot on his head. "You're strong… I like that."
I raised an eyebrow. "You're weird."
Yami laughed. "Well, that settles it. You're both insane. Welcome to the squad."
---
Later That Evening
Vanessa had stopped vomiting long enough to pour celebratory drinks.
Asta tried to lift a barrel over his head and accidentally broke a chair.
Gauche sat in a corner, ignoring everyone. Magna was sulking but also offering pointers to Asta.
I sat on the far couch, legs up, letting my magic settle.
Luck approached, rubbing his jaw.
"That stomp was real," he said.
I nodded.
"Want a rematch?"
I smirked. "Maybe after I take a nap."
He laughed and ran off to spar with Magna.
The bird landed on the table in front of me, tilting her head again.
"You're watching too, aren't you?" I murmured.
She didn't respond, but didn't fly away either.
---
In this chaotic, barely functional hideout, with its loud weirdos and crumbling furniture… I had found exactly what I wanted.
Not peace.
Not purpose.
Just entertainment.
And more importantly front-row seats.
To everything.