Apparently, 'watch her squirm' actually meant the creepy Viscount squirming with disgusting anticipation while his men dragged me to a private room.
Gross.
Wringing his hands, the man squashed himself into an unlucky chair.
"I know exactly who you are, Slander Master,"
Well, it certainly didn't sound like he knew 'exactly who I am'. Master does have a nice ring to it, though. Perhaps, I should consider changing my name when this is all over.
Ugh. But then I'd have to consider all the rebranding costs and-
"Hey! Slander Master! You dare to ignore me?!" the Viscount barked.
"I don't think anyone within fifty meters could ignore you if they tried," I rolled my eyes, scratching one of my ears.
I wasn't kidding, either. This guy's voice could give a train horn a run for its money.
"URGH!" The Viscount bit his lip, his face filling up with red.
It was disconcerting to watch.
Finally, he exploded.
"WHO HIRED YOU?!" he boomed. "MAKE HER TALK NO MATTER WHAT IT TAKES!!"
"Y-Yes, Sir!" the two subordinates stuttered in perfect unison, one of them grabbing my arms while another grabbed a whip.
"Tell us!" the guy holding the whip demanded, brandishing it above his head.
"Easy. No need to go that far," I replied. "I'll tell you who hired me."
The man looked confused for a moment.
"O-oh.. I mean, fine! Out with it!"
"I was hired… by a man," I began, utilizing a dramatic pause and voice inflection to create the most suspense possible.
(After all, storytelling is a big part of my trade.)
"A-a man?!"
I was purposefully building suspense, but was that statement really anything to be so surprised about, Random Guard #1?
"Hmmm.. a man.." Viscount Winthrop rubbed his chin thoughtfully.
The three of them looked at each other for a few moments before the Viscount exploded again.
"THAT DOESN'T TELL ME ANYTHING! WHO WAS THE MAN?!"
"Well…"
With the eloquence of an experienced Scandal Maker (or Slander Master, if you prefer), I crafted a tale of a man who lived in the shadows.
"They say he has no presence," I hushed my voice. "He comes and goes like a phantom."
"Hic!"
Oh, come on, Random Guard #2. This isn't the time to be hiccuping in fear. Please, at least try to stick to the script.
"Ahem. As I was saying," I shot the guard a glare, which induced another small hiccup, "the man comes and goes like a phantom."
I continued my tale, internally mocking their immersed faces, before making the big reveal.
"His name is…"
I took a deep breath and glanced side to side as if I was about to reveal the world's biggest secret.
Instinctively, all three men leaned closer to me, their mouths gaping like fish.
".. Humphrey Butliconi."
"Y-YOUUUUUU-" The Viscount's face began to turn red all over again.
Smack!
"Not who hired you to work at the docks!" he shouted, winding up for another slap.
"Yeah! Who hired you to.. to hire-no, to work-no.." Random Guard #1 tried to pipe in, raising his whip.
"You idiot!"
Smack!
Fortunately, the guard's idiocy saved my cheek from the Viscount's second smack.
"I've had enough of this," the Viscount continued, grabbing the neck of my shirt. "Tell me who hired you to infiltrate my company."
With the hand that wasn't busy choking me, he motioned for Random Guard #1 to pass him the whip.
Baring his yellow teeth at me, he cracked the whip at the corner of the room.
"I'm done playing your games, Slander Master. The next lash won't be a warning."
"Hahahah!"
Oops, I didn't mean for that chuckle escape.
"Why are you laughing?!" The Viscount's beady eyes shrunk to slits as he deepened his glare.
"You said you know exactly who I am," I raised an eyebrow. "That means you know everything about me, right?"
The Viscount's gaze faltered.
"O-Of course I do!" he snapped, raising the whip again.
Yawn. Couldn't he think of a more original way to threaten me?
"Then you must know that something very important just happened," I narrowed my eyes.
BOOM!!
The sudden blast was immediately followed by several screams and general pandemonium.
"Oh, I was too early, wasn't I?" I shrugged. "I mean, now something very important just happened."
"W-wha.. How.." the Viscount dropped the whip while the two guards ran for the door to see what the chaos was about.
"Oh you didn't know?" I smirked. "The bomb I set on my way in just went off."
Viscount Winthrop's red face suddenly became pale. He turned to follow the two guards out the door, only to trip over their unconscious bodies.
"Ah. I guess two important things happened," I put a finger to my cheek. "My bodyguard also woke up."
Wolf stood in the doorway, hunched over with his eyes gleaming ferociously. The blood dripping from his fingers added a particularly gruesome effect.
"Agh-uh-I-" The Viscount simultaneously tripped over his words and his own feet, landing square on his backside.
As he fell, Wolf's eyes moved past him to where I still sat, my legs crossed and hands folded neatly.
He inspected me for only a split second before a heavy bloodlust began to settle over the room. Suddenly looking more like a beast than a human, he took a thundering step toward the Viscount.
"EEK!" Winthrop let out a girlish screech, attempting to scuttle backward.
"B-Butliconi said this brat worked alone," he began rambling. "He said she'd be easy to crack."
Ah. So Bulticoni double-crossed both Viscount Winthrop and I, making sure the Viscount got the worse end of the deal. It was thoughtful of him, but not enough to keep me from paying him back ten-fold in the future.
But that could wait until we escaped this sinking ship.
Literally.
"You hit her?!" Wolf's voice was more of a growl.
"EEEEEK!" The poor Viscount let out another screech and promptly wet his pants.
"Wolf, Darling," I cut in, tiptoeing over the bodies of Random Guard #1 and #2. "We really don't have time for this sort of idle chit chat."
With a final sneer at Winthrop, my lackey reluctantly followed me out of the room.
"Now," I sighed, smoothing my hair.
"Let's go get that log and then get out of here."