Jacob and Stiles walked through the dungeon corridors, passing several cells. Jacob saw Margaery Tyrell inside one of them, looking pale and weary, but he didn't help her.
They reached Cersei's cell and let themselves in.
Inside, the stern Septa Unella was standing over Cersei, holding a wooden ladle, slapping Cersei's face with it every time she tried to speak.
Jacob stopped in the doorway, leaning against the frame, clapping loudly. "Oh, brilliant! Good job! Excellent technique!"
Septa Unella just noticed them and turned, frightened.
Cersei looked up, her hair matted, her eyes burning with rage. "Help me! I am the Queen!"
Jacob shook his head. "The Queen? Look at you! You look like a drowned rat in a wet sack. You look so miserable compared to the last time we met. I bet Sansa would love seeing you like this."
Cersei's eyes widened in realization. "It's you. Jacob Alexandre."
Jacob smirked. "Oh, you heard about my name."
Cersei spat, "Everyone has heard about your name. Are you here to kill me?"
Jacob shook his head. "No. I was bored at home and came to King's Landing to have some fun. That's all. And when I heard that you were imprisoned, I thought I would give you a visit to gloat, of course."
Cersei glared at him with undisguised hatred and said nothing.
Stiles looked at Cersei curiously. "Is that Cersei, the Queen of the Seven Kingdoms and the one who is bumping uglies with her brother?"
Jacob laughed. "The one and only."
Jacob thought for a moment, then sent a telepathic message to Sansa: [Hey, Sansa, where are you now?]
Sansa immediately replied: [We are near Moat Cailin, searching for Greywater Watch to invite House Reed to join us.]
Jacob said: [Go back with Arya to Serendell. I have a surprise for you.]
Sansa replied: [Okay.]
Jacob didn't bother hiding his powers. He vanished from the cell, returned to Serendell, and came back moments later with Sansa, Arya, and Allison.
Septa Unella watched with wide eyes in shock, her mouth hanging open.
Cersei, on the other hand, was terrified as she recognized both Stark girls.
Sansa didn't see Cersei yet. She looked at Jacob and asked, "Where is this place, and what's the surprise?"
Arya was the one to answer. "Sansa, turn around and look who is behind you."
Sansa turned and saw Cersei looking at her with a mix of hatred and terror.
Sansa's eyes went wide with surprise, then she smiled. "Well, this is really a surprise indeed. What happened to this bitch? How did she end up like this?"
Jacob smirked. "Well, she's in this situation because of a plan of her own making, actually. She gave a bunch of fanatics power so she could deal with the Tyrells, and the fanatics stripped away her power instead."
Arya was barely holding herself back from killing Cersei. She said, "Jacob, I want to beat her."
Jacob said, "You can beat her, but you can't kill her yet. It's not the time."
Arya nodded. "Okay."
She moved closer to Cersei with an evil smirk.
Cersei panicked and curled tighter into the corner. "Don't you dare touch me, you little whore."
Arya smirked. "That's not how you get someone not to beat you. You should beg for mercy. But I wouldn't listen to your begging anyway."
Arya slapped her hard across the face, splitting her lip. Cersei glared at Arya with blood dripping from her mouth.
Arya smirked and slapped her again. And again. Then she dragged her to the floor and drew her sword Needle, using the flat side of the thin blade to hit her. She hit her hard, making Cersei scream in agony as her body was bruised all over and bleeding.
Arya kept hitting her for a few minutes until Cersei started crying. Then she stopped.
"I want to take something from you," Arya said.
She sheathed her sword and drew the Valyrian steel dagger, slapping Cersei gently with it on the face. "I should cut off one of your hands to match your brother Jaime."
Cersei trembled in fear, but she didn't beg for mercy. She just looked at Arya with fear and hatred.
Arya smirked. "Well, I'll be merciful and just take a finger this time."
She grabbed Cersei's left hand.
Cersei screamed, "Noooooo! Let go of me, you bitch!"
Arya's smile widened. "I think I'll take two because you called me a bitch."
Before Cersei could say anything, Arya cut off both her pinky and ring finger, making her scream in pain and start crying again.
Arya stood up and said, "That's it for today." She looked at Jacob. "Heal her, please. I don't want her to get infected and die."
Jacob waved his hand, and a white light shot from it, enveloping Cersei's body and healing her wounds. But her missing fingers didn't grow back; the wounds just closed and healed.
Cersei looked at them with fear.
Sansa stepped forward and looked down at Cersei. There was no anger in her eyes. No sympathy. No warmth. Just cold and dangerous stillness.
She said, "We are not going to kill you. Death is far too merciful for what you and your family did to our family. We will take everything from you. Your titles, your pride, your gold, your armies, your allies, your home. We will take it all, piece by piece, slowly, until you have absolutely nothing left but your breath. And then, only when you are begging for it... we will let you die."
Cersei just glared at her and wisely chose to shut her mouth.
Sansa turned to Jacob with a smile. "Thank you for the gift. Seeing this bitch like this really made me feel good. But I have to leave now, or I won't be able to hold myself back from killing her."
Jacob kissed her and said, "Alright." Then he looked at Allison. "Are you here just to watch the fun, or do you want something?"
Allison said, "Both."
Jacob asked, "What do you want?"
Allison smiled. "The flying carpet. We can't ride horses in the swamps." She winked. "So, can I have it please, Puddin?"
Jacob smirked. "Oh, am I going to get a reward tonight?"
Allison said, "Sure. I'll be Harley Quinn for you tonight, and you can be the Joker—but with your real face. This one is ugly."
Jacob said, "Of course. You know how jealous I am. I would never sleep with one of you while wearing another man's face." He kissed her. "I'm looking forward to tonight." He gave her the flying carpet from his pocket dimension.
Allison put it in her ring and looked at Stiles, who was still disguised as Ace Ventura. Then she looked back at Jacob. "What are you guys doing here anyway?"
Jacob shrugged. "Nothing. We were bored at home and came here to have some fun."
Allison said, "Well, continue having your fun then. I'll see you tonight." She looked at Sansa. "Take us back to Mom and the others."
Sansa grabbed Arya, who was still glaring at Cersei, and Allison's hand. She said to Jacob, "See you at home," then teleported the three of them back to Moat Cailin.
Jacob looked at Cersei in the corner. "Well, we've seen enough. Let's go."
As he and Stiles turned to leave, Jacob casually stepped up behind Septa Unella, who was still shocked by people appearing from thin air and disappearing, and Jacob healing Cersei. He gave her a resounding, loud spank on the ass and smiled broadly at her shocked, outraged face.
"Keep up the good work, darling!" Jacob whispered, tapping her nose. "Make sure to torture Cersei every single day. And don't worry, I will personally come back and save you once she gets released. Because when she gets out? Oh, she is definitely going to torture you in a horrible, agonizing way before she kills you. So do your worst to her while you still can."
With a cackle, Jacob and Stiles walked back out to the main hall of the Sept, passing the High Sparrow again, who was sitting on the floor with swollen cheeks. When he saw them, he lay back and played dead.
Stiles stopped, patted the High Sparrow's head, and said, "Good boy."
Suddenly, the doors of the Sept burst open. Dozens of Faith Militant rushed in, wielding heavy wooden bats and spiked clubs.
The High Sparrow got his courage back and stood up. "Seize these two sinners! And go check the dungeons!"
Jacob turned to him. "I told you to play dead, you stinky old fool."
He grabbed the High Sparrow, slapped him a few times, and threw him to the Faith Militant down the stairs.
The Faith Militant caught the High Sparrow and, after making sure he was okay, prepared to attack Stiles and Jacob.
Jacob said, "Don't do anything stupid. How about I tell you a joke instead?"
The Faith Militant didn't listen. They charged.
Jacob sighed. "No joke then. Stiles, let's take care of them."
Stiles said, "Come on, man, I'm in character. Call me Ace."
Jacob ignored him and attacked the charging Militant. He grabbed a spiked club from one of them, punched him in the face, and sent him falling down the stairs. Then he started hitting the others with the club, beating them hard. Some had fractured bones. Some got hit on the face and lost teeth. Some had their bones broken.
Stiles joined the fight, taking a bat from one of them and beating them like Jacob.
When they were done, forty Faith Militant were on the ground, groaning or howling in pain. The High Sparrow stood alone, looking at Stiles and Jacob in horror.
Jacob said, "I bet you wish you had listened to my joke now." He took out a small, purple-colored canister with a smiling face on it. "But worry not. I will still make you laugh."
He pulled the pin and threw it directly into the center of the wailing crowd.
It was a laughing grenade he had gotten as a reward from the system. A thick, purple mist exploded outward. The moment the Faith Militant breathed it in, they stopped howling in pain and groaning, clutched their stomachs, and began laughing uncontrollably. They rolled on the floor in absolute, forced hysteria, which made their wounds even worse. Although they were laughing, their faces were filled with pain, and tears streamed down their faces.
The High Sparrow was laughing hysterically on the floor as well.
Stiles looked at the men laughing hysterically while in pain and crying, then turned to Jacob. "Man, you are pure evil."
Jacob chuckled and watched the men on the floor, nodding in satisfaction. "Let's go."
Stiles turned to Olenna, who was still there, and blew a kiss at her. "Have a wonderful day, gorgeous!"
With that, the two of them left, walking casually out of the Sept.
As they walked through the streets, Jacob and Stiles chatted casually.
Jacob said, "I didn't know you were into old women."
Stiles said, "I was just being polite."
Jacob smiled. "She has a beautiful granddaughter. Do you want me to arrange a marriage between you two?"
Stiles looked horrified. "Are you trying to get me killed?"
Jacob laughed. "Having a harem is fun. Try talking to Erica—she might agree."
Stiles shook his head firmly. "No. One girl is enough for me. You can marry her granddaughter if you want, or marry her to Scott."
Jacob said, "Nah, Scott can't handle her. And I don't want her—she's too manipulative and power-hungry. She's not worth the trouble. She'd just cause chaos between me and my wives."
Stiles said, "By the way, can I have one of the laughing bombs you just used? Please?"
Jacob said, "Sure." He took a laughing grenade and gave it to Stiles. "Here."
Stiles took it. "Thanks."
They walked through the city for another hour, chatting happily as if they were taking a stroll through a park. The Gold Cloaks found them again, and chaos erupted in King's Landing once more. Jacob and Stiles ran circles around the city blocks, knocking over carts, sliding under horses, and knocking guards unconscious, laughing the entire time.
As they rounded a corner near the lower markets, Jacob spotted a lavish, heavily guarded wheelhouse carriage bearing the golden rose insignia of House Tyrell. It was Olenna's carriage.
Just then, a system window appeared in front of Jacob's eyes:
[Quest Available: You can sign in after saving Olenna Tyrell's grandchildren, Loras and Margaery.]
Jacob's eyes lit up. 'Great.'
He looked at the Gold Cloaks following them and said, "Fun's over." He used his Conqueror's Haki and knocked them all out.
Then Jacob caught Stiles's shoulder, and they both disappeared, leaving the Gold Cloaks lying unconscious in the street.
Olenna gasped, her hand flying to her chest in genuine fright, as Jacob and Stiles appeared suddenly in her carriage, sitting across from her on the silk cushions.
Jacob leaned forward, his scarred face softening into a calm, business-like grin.
"Fear not, old lady," Jacob said. "We mean you absolutely no harm. In fact... I have a very good deal for you."
To be continued... 😊
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40 Chapters ahead of webnovel