The Quantum Blender drifted reluctantly into Orbital Ocean Zeta, a watery region of space filled with rogue aqua-pods, liquid bureaucracy, and suspiciously melodramatic geysers.
Bazook stood ankle-deep in mysterious seawater on Deck 9, which had recently declared itself a "spa for emotionally compromised captains." Deborah 7.1 explained that the ship's plumbing had gained sentience after a close encounter with a bidet comet.
Carlton Zorp emerged wearing swim trunks labeled "I'm the Drama". He claimed to be fluent in Hydrospeak, the language of aquatic emotions, and attempted to negotiate peace with a sentient puddle named Marvin. Marvin rejected his offer by evaporating.
Suddenly, the ship was boarded by the AquaCops™—amphibious enforcers of hydration law. Led by Commander Drip, a jelly-bodied officer with a squeaky voice and a vendetta against dryness, they accused Bazook of illegal dehydration and "reckless moisture skepticism."
Bazook, unfazed, countered with a legal loophole involving evaporative irony. While Carlton staged an impromptu musical titled "Blub Me Tender", Deborah flooded the courtroom with brine and sarcastic legal jargon.
As tensions escalated, a telepathic squid choir arrived from Moon Pool Epsilon, offering diplomacy through synchronized tentacle opera. Bazook was moved to tears by their rendition of "O, Dehydrated Captain, Thy Shame Is Moist". Carlton wept. Commander Drip hugged a mop.
Peace was declared. Bazook received a ceremonial snorkel and honorary title: Moisture-Bearer of the Fifth Splash. Vicki the Croissant, observing from a submarine breadstick, muttered "This changes everything."
The crew toasts with sparkling seafoam. Deborah sighs, "Well hydrated, well humiliated." A mysterious message arrives: Bazook has been invited to judge an underwater beauty pageant hosted by plankton. Carlton volunteers as the swimsuit consultant.
Bazook whispers, "I miss land."