You have selected: Insane Difficulty. Are you sure?
→ Yes.
→ Hell yes.
→ Wait, what?
Baron tapped the third option by accident.
Or at least… he thought he did.
Because the next thing he remembered was waking up face-first in a pile of soft, lavender-scented thighs—and then being slapped so hard by a beautiful elf warrior that he nearly forgot how to breathe.
"Where am I?" he croaked, blinking up at the five—no, six—women glaring down at him like he'd just insulted their entire bloodline.
"You dare to desecrate the Sacred Courtyard of Lustania with your mortal body?" the elf hissed, her long silver braid whipping around like a snake.
Baron sat up slowly, wincing. His clothes were… wrong. A deep crimson tunic, fingerless gloves, black leather pants with a belt made of glowing sigils. He looked like an RPG protagonist who bought his gear from the "Hot and Edgy" tab.
He turned to the blonde girl in the back—the only one not actively threatening to disembowel him.
"Hey," he said, offering a smile. "Quick question. Am I in a game? Or dead? Or, like… dead in a game?"
The priestess blushed furiously and looked away. "You were summoned, Chosen One. We needed a Hero. We got… you."
"Ouch," Baron muttered.
🧠 SYSTEM MESSAGE:
Welcome, Player: Baron
Game Mode: Breeding Sim Protocol [Unstable BETA]
Objective: Populate the Continent of Lustania
Harem Slots: [Locked]
Starting Affection: -35
Tutorial Waifu: Aria (Angry Elf Tsundere)
Tip: Survive the next 10 minutes.
Baron stared as the interface hovered in his vision. Floating transparent UI. Real air. Real women.
His gaze slid to the elf, Aria, still holding a glowing blade to his neck.
"Okay," he said carefully. "This is obviously a misunderstanding. I was trying to download a dating sim called 'Princess Crush 9000' and—"
"You triggered the Breeding Protocol," the mage beside Aria cut in. Her eyes glowed violet, and her robes clung like steam. "There is no exit. Only fulfillment."
"Fulfillment?" Baron echoed.
"Fulfillment," the priestess said again, whispering the word like it was sacred and sinful all at once.
The beastkin girl in the back cracked her knuckles and grinned. "Let's see if your stats match your mouth."
Baron paled.
"I'd like a refund."
🧪 10 Minutes Later
Baron was running through a courtyard being chased by the angry elf, the mage casting tracking spells, and the beastkin laughing with bloodlust.
He ducked behind a tree, panting. "Okay. First mission: don't die. Second mission: figure out why every hot woman here is both turned on and homicidal."
A hologram flickered in front of him.
📜 Quest Activated:
Escape the Waifus
Survive the first hour.
Don't die by tsundere blade.
Bonus XP: Make one of them not hate you.
"I miss my phone," Baron muttered. "And pants without magic zippers."
❤️ Later That Night
Baron sat by a crackling fire in a forest clearing. Surprisingly, Aria hadn't killed him. Yet. Instead, she sat across from him, arms crossed, cheeks faintly pink.
"You fought well… for a pervert," she muttered.
"Thanks," Baron said. "You're violent… for a guide."
She rolled her eyes. "We're bound now. The ritual's done. Whether I like it or not."
He blinked. "Wait. What ritual?"
Aria smirked. "You'll find out. When the moon turns red."
Baron stared into the fire. "That sounds vaguely ominous and deeply sexual."
"It is."
⚔️ END OF CHAPTER 1
📣 CTA:
Baron's only goal was to date fantasy waifus. He didn't know they had combat stats and pregnancy charts. Who's your favorite so far? Aria the Tsundere Elf? Or someone else? Comment and tell me who should get the first affection breakthrough! 💬🔥