I shoved his hand away.
What was wrong with him lately? He seemed to be more physical.
Renshu's grip tightened, firm enough to make my wrist ache. The only way to break free was... too harsh. I could have done it, but if he remembered it the next morning, who knows how I'd be punished.
So instead, I stood beside his bed, waiting for him to fall asleep.
It shouldn't take long.
He murmured a soft "thank you" as my struggles stilled, his voice half-lost to sleep.
A while passed before I finally slipped out of his chamber and returned to my own.
~~~~~MORNING~~~~~
I was greeted by another letter from Lianyu.
A long one this time, written with her usual neat script and a soft scent that reminded me of fresh lotus leaves.
She had written about everything that had happened over the six months since I left.
Yichen was still puzzled about what his brother meant during our last conversation, but he was happy to know Yixuan was doing well.
Perhaps I should visit them soon. I missed the, though for some reason, I felt embarrassed to show it.
I wanted to go back… but my duties chained me here.
"Anything bothering you, dear?"
It was Lady Bao Qin's voice, gentle and motherly as ever. She sat across from me during breakfast, her presence calm and relaxed. It made sense, Renshu had once mentioned that she was more of a parent to him than his real ones ever were.
"No, I'm fine. Thank you for asking," I replied, keeping my tone polite.
"Oh? You say that, but you look a bit pale, Meilina."
Was I sick? Probably not. It was just the lack of sleep, Renshu had made a habit of calling me to his balcony late at night, leaving me barely any time to rest. My body was starting to feel it.
A sudden curiosity slipped through my voice.
"Lady Bao Qin, how long have you known Renshu?"
"Oh, for a very long time," she said with a smile. "Why?"
"No reason—"
"Oh, dear! I know you too well. You're not the type to ask something without a reason. Did Renshu mention me?"
"I was just asking—"
"Oh, come on now! Tell me."
She was persistent, her tone teasing. Lying wouldn't help. I sighed softly and gave in.
"He said… you were like a mother to him."
Her smile faltered, just a little, and her eyes glimmered with something I couldn't quite read—happiness? Maybe...
"Oh? Did he now…" she murmured.
Her gaze lingered on her teacup. I wondered if I'd said something wrong.
Once breakfast was done, I went for a walk. Dressed as a man again, as usual.
The air outside was fresh, but before I could enjoy it for long, I bumped into Rong Xu.
"Oh—wow. Didn't expect to see you anywhere outside Colonel Gao Mings place."
"What? Oh—right, haha." He scratched his neck awkwardly.
Something was off. Rong Xu was usually warm, talkative, even cheerful around me, especially since we were both foreigners. But today, his tone was restrained, his smile forced.
"You seem tired," I noted.
"Yeah, I am. Uh, listen—Aryan, I need to go now, okay?"
And just like that, he left.
No explanation. No farewell. Just gone.
I stood there, stunned. What had gotten into him? He'd always been one of the few people here who treated me like a person.
But now… even he was avoiding me.
As I walked through the courtyard, I noticed something else, maids and servants glancing sharply in my direction. Normally, they'd try to provoke me, whisper behind my back, anything to amuse themselves. But now… they were avoiding me altogether.
Their silence felt heavier than their words ever had.
Had I done something wrong?
No, something had changed. The looks they gave me weren't of disdain but of fear.
Then it struck me.
The tension between Bharat and China. Of course.
But how would common servants know about that? They gossiped plenty, but such information usually stayed within military circles—unless someone told them. Or they overheard it.
Could that also explain Rong Xu's behavior?
All of this, just because of politics?
I returned to Renshu's palace. There was no point wandering where every glance felt like a blade.
-----EVENING----
"Hey, Meilina," Renshu greeted as he entered. "Did you not go to Gao Ming's place today?"
"No," I replied. "The maids and servants somehow found out about the political situation, and now everyone's looking at me like I'm some kind of spy."
"What? How could they possibly know—Wei Fang…"
My stomach twisted. "Did he say something?"
"Maybe not directly," Renshu said, frowning. "But he might've spoken loudly enough for them to overhear. These political matters should've stayed between us, not the maids who barely understand what's happening."
"Then what is happening?" I questioned.
He sighed, rubbing his temples. "Bharat and China are both large nations. Feeding such populations isn't easy. The current dispute over the southern peninsula—it's about resources. Crops. Water routes. Any leader would want to secure them."
He paused, then frowned deeper. "The reason I suspect Wei Fang is because of his patriotism. He's become obsessed with finding spies. If he couldn't do it alone, he might've started using servants as his eyes and ears."
I frowned. "Has anyone actually been caught?"
"I suppose not. But even if they were, I wouldn't know. Wei Fang would keep it from me."
"Why?"
"Because of the disappearances." He pushed back his chair and stood, pacing. "You've heard about them, haven't you? Maids and servants vanishing one after another. It's unnatural. A few leavinh here and there is one thing—but ten, within just a few months?"
His expression hardened.
"You think Wei Fang's behind it," I guessed.
"Perhaps. Maybe he's using them to hunt for spies… and some of them became victims in the process."
The air grew heavy between us.
"I—honestly don't know anymore," he admitted, voice tired. "There's too much going on. Between the northern troops, the tension with Bharat… I can barely think straight."
"What northern troops—"
"I'll tell you tomorrow," he interrupted softly. "Goodnight."
Before I could protest, he was gone.
Left alone, I walked back to my own chambers, the silence pressing against me like a thick fog.
Lying down, I stared at the ceiling. When I first became an official, I thought it would bring stability, maybe even safety.
But now, it only brought anxiety.
I closed my eyes, thoughts clattering like loose coins in my head.
If even a single rumor spread further… how long before someone decided I was the spy they were looking for?
Sleep took me eventually, uneasy, restless, and uncertain of what the next day would bring.