B͟l͟a͟k͟e͟
I swirl the glass in my hand, watching the brown liquid ripple back and forth. Jack Daniels always hits the spot. I look out at the water, the sunset almost blinding me.
I had already promised her I would take her on a cruise. I had intended to keep the promise and now...
I had held up my end and she dumped me. She fucking dumped me. It was supposed to be a Valentine's Day surprise: a romantic getaway on a cruise where we could make love, order room service and sunbathe on the deck.
It was where I was also going to tell her the truth about my life. The big one that I was waiting to tell her until we were in the midst of planning the wedding.
Which we ar-, were, until a week ago. She randomly took me to a nice restaurant in the middle of the week.
I'd been appreciative, thinking about how much closer we were growing, glad that I had waited; glad that I had chosen her. I felt lucky, like the universe was finally smiling down on me.
I let her think she had a higher salary than me, not much more, but enough that if she still chose to marry me, I would know she really loved me.
"Well that was short lived," I mumble.
We'd ordered cocktails, appetizers, and she ordered her normal salad while I ordered prime rib. She'd eyed me sideways as I put in my order with the waiter. I didn't say anything, waiting for her to do whatever she was going to do.
It wasn't the first time I'd seen her irritated when she was covering the bill. I guess I thought she'd grow out of it eventually.
It's not like I never covered but when she offered, I took it.
We made strained small talk and I was running through scenarios in my mind, trying to see where this dinner was going to go.
Maybe it was wedding jitters?
Wedding planning stress?
Fear that maybe I wouldn't agree with the decisions she'd made so far?
It wasn't until things were silent halfway through dinner that the tense atmosphere finally broke.
She'd thrown down her napkin, hard enough to scatter some silverware, before starting on her rant. She went on about how she was tired of covering all the bills. It made no sense considering we didn't even live together. She didn't cover any of my bills.
She said she wanted a "real man" with real ambitions who wouldn't be content to stay in a 9 to 5 where he didn't make more than $50 grand a year.
She didn't make a scene but she didn't let me get in a word edgewise. And she didn't do this in private so I couldn't defend myself without drawing attention.
She threw one accusation after another at me.
𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘯 𝘩𝘦𝘳.
𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘭𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘮𝘺 𝘵𝘢𝘹𝘦𝘴, 𝘮𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦𝘭𝘺 𝘦𝘮𝘣𝘦𝘻𝘻𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘺 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘮𝘺 "𝘣𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨" 𝘫𝘰𝘣.
𝘈𝘭𝘭 𝘮𝘺 𝘣𝘶𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘱𝘴 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘯 𝘦𝘹𝘤𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘩𝘦𝘳.
I stopped trying to get a word in, letting her rant to her heart's content. By the time she was out of breath, the waiter had come by to offer dessert and offer the check.
She'd immediately put her mask back on and nearly charmed the pants off the waiter. I was immediately embarrassed that I hadn't seen it before. Love is blind, eh?
I'm pulled from my reverie by the sounds of flirtatious laughter.
I don't bother looking. I keep my normal stony-faced demeanor and focus on the way the ripples in my whiskey match the waves in the distance. The waves that reflect the pastel pink and orange sky.
Unsteady, just like my mindset. I'm still on the fence about what my next steps are. I tap the glass on the table, the warm Caribbean breeze flowing around me.
The sunset is beautiful, better than anything I've seen from home. The clear teal and turquoise water is tinted by the colors of the sun, making it inviting, even now.
I tip my glass up for a final sip before realizing I've already drunk it. I let out a breath before deciding to head back inside to the bar for another drink.
𝘐 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥𝘯'𝘵. I shove my free hand in my pocket before walking as casually as I can through the happy couples wandering the deck. There's giggling and loud whispers of future plans... "I love yous" in the air.
There are a few older couples standing by the railing, dancing to music only they can hear. It's endearing to say the least. It's something I had hoped for but I feel like this betrayal is something I can't overcome.
I always saw myself old and gray, being married to the same woman for 50 years, kids and grandkids...a big family.
I step through the door of the overly decorated room. They call it a bar but it's more like a fancy wine tasting room with a dance floor. Couples are starting to empty out, most likely trying to get some dinner.
The decor is, dare I say, cute? Cheesy but cute. It's the kind that makes you wanna wrap your arms around your girl and whisper sweet nothings into her ear until she giggles.
I feel the corner of my mouth twitch in amusement. There's some playlist of classic love songs on repeat, loud enough to lose yourself in but soft enough to carry on a conversation.
I reach the bar and realize just how much red is decorating it. I guess it took the low hanging lights to lend a romantic flare to the already lovey-dovey atmosphere.
Every single table has at least a dozen fresh roses on it, crystal vases, and these fancy place settings with napkins shaped like hearts.
And are those...
Styrofoam hearts covered in glitter hang from the ceiling.
Yeah. Wine tasting.
Definitely wine tasting.
I lean over the bar before signaling the bartender. Or trying to signal him. He's on the other side, distracted by something. I squint.
It's a someone...a very attractive someone...
I do a double take.
Holy shit. I almost didn't see her. She's wearing a red dress that almost seamlessly melts into the background.
She looks up at the bartender and smiles.
𝘞𝘰𝘸