My chest hitched violently as I dragged in air, each breath sharp and uneven. Fingers clawed at nothing, legs kicked, my lungs ripping themselves apart in short, panicked bursts.
"Get off of me!" I screamed, my voice cracked. "Don't touch me—get off!"
My back slammed against something cold and wet, but my body didn't care. "No, no, no—stop!" Limbs flailed as if I were still there, still in that van, still being held down.
"Please—don't—!" That's when I finally felt it. There were no hands on me. No voices. No Weight pinning me down… Just the sting of cold pavement and rain.
Shadows clung to the corners, stretching long and wrong. The darkness pressed close, but a faint light leaked down from above. I squeezed my eyes shut, then forced them open again, blinking through the blur. "I'm not there," I whispered. "I'm… I'm not there anymore."
My body didn't believe it was over. When I lifted my own hand to steady my breathing, the instant it touched me I flinched hard, jerking away—like my nerves were still waiting for something to go wrong.
"Eeep!" The sound tore out of me—something that should've been a man's grunt, but came out like a squeaky toy any dog would've loved.
Now that I had a better look, I realized I was lying in some kind of alley, the rough, cold ground biting into my back. Overhead, the buildings loomed, dark and damp, mist curling between them.
Shakily, I forced my gaze past the panic, past the blur of my own trembling limbs. Just beyond the shadows and dripping pipes, I spotted a small, sharp, wavering light. Too low to be the moon, and far too small—it had to be a streetlight… or something.
"Maybe… maybe someone's there," I whispered, my voice barely more than a breath as I tried to push myself up—only for my balance to tip forward and send me collapsing, face-first into a shallow puddle. Cold water splashed up against my chest.
"Agh—?" My heart slammed against my ribs, sharp and electric, the shock ripping up from my gut into my chest and blotting out everything else— even the cold for a moment.
The sting made my body jerk on instinct, pulling my upper half up as my hands came to my chest, rubbing hard and clumsy, desperate to force warmth back into skin that had gone painfully sensitive.
My eyes flicked down—and froze. The shallow puddle I'd fallen into reflected my face back at me, distorted and soaked. It was eerily familiar—soft, round cheeks framed by long pink hair streaked with blue, eyes wide and glowing faintly in the dark. It was young. Disarmingly young. Smaller—fragile in a way that felt wrong for a boy.
"What the…?" I bent down closer, staring into it. Up close, I could see a tiny heart shape in the pupils.
"That's definitely not me." The words slipped out before I could stop them.
She looked about the same age as my little sister. I remembered walking her to school every day without complaint, right up until I outgrew the grade and started high school. I loved her. I'd protected her with everything I had.
But this reflection—this perfect, doll-like girl staring back at me—wasn't her.
The closer I leaned in, the more of this body came into view. That's when it hit me—I wasn't wearing a shirt. The surprise nearly made me lose my balance. My hands shot out in front of me, catching myself from falling into the water again. I jerked them away from my chest by accident— only to reveal, small, and pink, harden nipples.
"S-sorry! I—I didn't mean to…" I blurted out, turning away—then froze, forgetting for a heartbeat that the reflection was my own.
I cracked one eye open and caught myself studying my skin, drawn to it despite the knot tightening in my chest.
I lifted one hand, shifting my weight to the other, and just stared at it. It was small, pale, and a little dirty from having rested on the ground.
I brought it to my cheek, touching my face—the same face staring back at me from the puddle. It was soft—too soft—and thin, with a faint trace of warmth.
On my knees, I pushed myself back from the puddle and let my eyes drop to the body that belonged to this face.
I pressed my fingers into my arms, tracing the curve of my hip, even reaching toward my back, hoping that if I searched hard enough, I'd find something familiar—something that hadn't been erased.
"Where's the scar from my bike crash?" I muttered, my voice hollow. "Or the one on my elbow… or my back, from when my sister was a baby and I caught her when she fell?"
I swallowed.
"They're gone."
My fingers brushed against my thighs—and then I felt it. Something thin, smooth, clinging. Black spats. In fact, they were the only thing I had on. They hugged my skin like a second layer, startlingly real against my shivering body.
Maybe whoever dumped me here hadn't wanted to give me a full show—a small mercy, I thought. But my instincts made me check anyway, just to confirm something, as if holding onto even this tiny fragment of myself mattered.
I was already tugging my waistband open and checking between my legs. "…Still got it," I breathed. "Thank the stars."
I actually laughed when I found out. Not because it was funny. More like… relief. After everything, I needed to know at least one thing about me hadn't changed.
Then a sudden breeze skimmed across my chest, making it tingle and reminding me just how cold it really was.
I staggered to my feet, my legs wobbling as if I hadn't used them in years. A tremble ran through me—not just from fear, but from my body trying to warm itself against the cold.
I took a few unsteady steps before nearly collapsing. At the last second, I caught myself against the side of a building, its cold surface biting into my palms, making it impossible to stay there for long.
"C-come on… Pondaru… w-walk. M-move. Just… just move…" My teeth chattered as I pushed off, forcing one shaky step after another toward the light. Each step felt like wading through cement, my legs trembling under me, threatening to give out at any moment.
The chill hit me like knives, crawling over every inch of exposed skin, searing across my chest, stomach, and arms. I shivered uncontrollably, every breath coming in sharp, ragged gasps. I wished I was home—back to my family, back to warmth, back to the quiet life I barely had time to enjoy. Back to my mom, my dad… my sister.
I opened my mouth, trying to say her name.
"S… s—" The sound died there. Empty. Unfinished.
What was her name again?
The answer hovered on the tip of my tongue, just out of reach. No matter how hard I searched, nothing surfaced—only her image, and the faint warmth of her voice, soft and bright, like sunlight filtering through cracked glass.
The realization settled slowly, heavy and wrong. It wasn't just her. I couldn't remember my parents' names either.
Panic flared, gnawing at my thoughts as the alley stretched on, dark and endless. The light ahead wavered, just out of reach, and all I could do was stumble forward, skin crawling from cold and fear, hoping I could hold myself together long enough to reach it.
✦ ✦ ✦
After stumbling along the wall a few more times, I finally made it.
The light was right in front of me, buzzing faintly—too quiet to be music, too irregular to be normal. I had expected warmth. A doorway. Shelter. Anything that could save me from the cold gnawing at my bones. Instead, it offered nothing but a faint, flickering glow, like some half-hearted attempt at friendliness.
Honestly… maybe I should've known better than to expect it to be anything useful.
I stared down at the ground, disappointed, cold, and ready to give up. Then—without warning—a sharp flash of light caught the corner of my eye.
I glanced at it.
A strange, glowing screen hovered in front of me, buzzing softly, colors shifting in ways that made my head spin. I had no idea what it was—or how it had appeared—but it was bright, impossible to ignore, and completely unlike anything I'd ever seen.
Two people sat there, smiling at me through the screen.
""Hey… hello," I stammered, teeth rattling from the cold. I stumbled closer, shivering, addressing the glowing figures like they were on a video call, half-expecting the screen to lag or someone to ask if they could hear me.
They didn't answer.
"I… I just woke up here… C-can you tell me where I am?" My voice trembled as the cold bit into me, shaking me to my bones. Silence pressed down like ice.
They stayed frozen, still smiling. Too wide. Too calm. Too wrong. It was as if they were mocking me.
"P-please… don't let me die… sir!" I shouted, in frustration
Then the screen flashed, glitching hard, before cutting to black. A blank white logo pulsed in the center — the sleek, angular emblem of a company called CHI Corp.
Beneath it, a single phrase appeared in clean, glowing text:
"OBEDIENCE IS FREEDOM. UPGRADE NOW."
Below that, smaller text faded in: "Engineering Desire. Perfecting Perception."
I stared at the floating letters, eyes wide and blinking too fast. "What… what is this?" I whispered. The words hung in the air—no screen, no paper, just glowing shapes floating there.
I didn't have time to understand—couldn't afford to—because the cold was already clawing at my skin, stealing what little warmth I had left. It forced me down to the ground, head ducked under my arms, body curling inward as I tried to shield myself from the biting air.
"I… I need to move… now… before I… freeze…" I gasped, teeth rattling. My whole body shook violently, every nerve screaming against the cold as if it were trying to rip me apart.
I dragged myself upright, legs shaking, and staggered forward, each step clumsy and uncertain, driven by nothing but the need to stay alive.
The buzz of static still echoed behind me, faint and empty—then vanished, replaced once again by that small, useless light I'd been heading toward before.
✦ ✦ ✦
As I continued forward, I rounded a corner—and my foot landed in a puddle. The icy water squelched between my toes, sharp and sticky at the same time. I hopped back, yanking my wet foot out and rubbing it frantically, trying to generate some warmth, but lost my balance and nearly toppled into a bigger puddle that would have done me in for good.
Then—
Something in the water caught my eye. I glanced down, and a flicker of purple neon reflected in the puddle. When I looked up, I saw it: a battered sign hanging above what looked like a side entrance—Roader's.
"R-r-roa… Rrroders…" I whispered, testing the name, my breath fogging the air— momentarily blotting out the glow—like a ghost clawing its way out of my frozen lungs.
It looked like a bar—or maybe a nightclub—but I only knew places like this from the video games my friends had shown me. They said spots like this really existed… for grown-ups. I wasn't sure I believed them.
But the proof was right in front of me.
That meant there might be adults here who could help me get back home. But more than that—
"M-m… maybe…" I whispered, my voice cracking in the cold. "J-just… s-somewhere w-warm. A-anywhere b-but here."
I moved toward it, each step sluggish, my soft flesh feeling ready to shatter beneath me as the cold crept deeper into my skin. My body was already starting to numb; my skin prickled, goosebumps rising as the cold gnawed its way in. I wrapped my arms around myself, desperate to hold onto whatever warmth I could.
My eyes darted around, searching for a door—anything that led inside. Finally, I spotted one, just barely, with a beat-up metal shopping cart shoved into the corner beside it.
Its wheels were locked by grime, the cart slumped with scraps of women's underwear—too small to cover anything, bras spilling over the edges like forgotten flags in the stale breeze. I needed clothes, but these wouldn't help… not with a body that didn't even have anything to fill a bra yet.
I hoped this was some kind of clothing store now. But before I could reach the door, something else caught my eye: a girl standing by the entrance, frozen mid-step, her stiletto heel suspended in the air like she'd been stopped by some invisible hand. She looked… wrong. Cold. Still. Like a statue—or worse, like she'd already died.
"H-hey… are you okay? Can you move?" I called, my voice trembling.
She didn't respond. Didn't even blink. Her eyes stared blankly ahead. Strange lines ran along her arms and neck—like seams or panels—but I didn't understand what they meant.
"Are… are you dead?" My stomach twisted.
Then, suddenly, she spoke.
"Welcome, master."
The words sounded impossibly… cute. But there was something in them that didn't belong to life. My chest tightened. This wasn't right.
My hand reached out for hers, waiting for her to grab it—but the moment I let go of myself, a wave of cold slammed into me, like I was giving away the last scraps of warmth I had left. Still, I couldn't just stand there and watch this girl freeze to death.
"P-please… g-grab my hand… l-let's go inside together, or we'll both freeze to death," I stammered, my voice cracking. "C-come on… h-hurry… take it, please!"
She didn't even try to grab it. She just stood there, spewing the same nonsense, like a broken record.
"Welcome, master. Welcome, master. Welcomemaster—"
"H-hey—are you t-trying to d-die?! C-come on—l-let's go!" I snapped.
She just stood there, frozen, ignoring me. Panic and frustration surged—I lunged forward, scooping her up without thinking. For half a second, I had her in my arms.
Then the cold hit.
Her body wasn't just cold—it was wrong. Like holding something that had been left outside all night. Like ice pretending to be skin. My breath caught as the chill tore through me, straight to the bone. How is she not dead? The thought flashed through my mind, sharp and panicked.
"G-gh—!"
My arms gave out, and I dropped her back onto the floor, stumbling away, gasping. Her skin had been so impossibly cold that it burned my arms the instant I touched her. I wrapped my arms tight around myself, but they felt empty—like the warmth had vanished entirely. The chill spread through me, gnawing at my limbs and sinking deeper, as if it were reaching for my very core.
Another gust of frigid wind cut straight through me, sharp and merciless. I swallowed hard and staggered back.
I couldn't afford to lose any more heat.
"I‑I'm s‑sorry," I whispered, my voice shattering. "I‑I c‑can't… I can't h‑help you. I'll d‑die."
My heart felt like stone for abandoning her—but my body was screaming at me, warning me it would stop moving if I didn't act now. Shivering, nearly naked, desperate… I shoved the door open.