"Ohhhhh, this girl, eh! Dem born you, born lateness?" I shouted to her as I stand by her door, I had already knocked a few times. This girl was slower than a snail in a race with a slug.
"Chèlụgọdụ na! Ah ah! Haba! This girl you too dey do o, you too like school bịkọ, Tụfịá! Wetin dey this school sef wey you... Abeg, enter come help me clip this stuff joor," I shake my head as I head over to go help her.
"Abeg do fast na, you dey wear red inside white shirt, wahala no dey finish for you my sister," I say as I move outside, "Fast abeg."
"Forget that thing, jare, this school uniform sef, e no dey ever disturb you? Guy, white shirt with black and white polka dot skirt, it's bound to get a bit of dirt, I hate it. But you're right, sha, I'm going to go change, wait o, in short come help me again."
I roll my eyes as I move inside, "No be Obianuju high? Leave them jare! You sef no be you dey do yourself? Today you're on Ebube's laps stroking his beard, I dey call am beard sef, his one string, next, you're on Chiedozie's laps in the A class kissing his forehead, let me not talk of Kuami that Ghana boy in ss1..."
"Ahhh, nwá ọtụ Akan, ok Ngóó what's your point now, eh Ngozi?"
"My point is that when you're jumping from one guy to another, including your juniors, why would your white not stain..."
"It's like you don't know how to talk na!"
"Ahh, Chi, na today you know? even Obieze, Nná m told me..."
"Ngozi, enter and do something for me, joor, ịnọdụ nó ịná kọyelị, you'll be comfortable talking nonsense you stupid child."
"Why you go dey date your junior sef? you old pass am o!"
"Ehen? Age is just a number!" I stare at her a while, nod my head, and enter to help her out with her stuff and as I leave she adds, "But daaaamn, Kuami is fine though! Oh my goooshh, Ghana boys are soooo cute!" I roll my eyes in response.
"OMGGGG..."
"Ógịnị kwá? Bịa Chi, I don dey go o abeg," I say as I use the door.
"Bịà this girl you're Les o!"
I chuckle, "Ịmákwà!" I respond clearly unscathed by her words.
"You know no response is actually a response which is either positive or negative in accordance to the wish of the person asking the questions,"
I smile, she's right but I really didn't wanna care at this point in time, "That one concern you o Nné, I no really send, em, Chidera áwáwà abeg."
"Ehyaaa, wait for me na baby m, see I'm just wearing my last socks, wait!" She runs out and signals at me as she begins forcing her legs into her socks and school sandals. I'm almost at the gate when she, grabbing her stuff in a haste comes after me, I turn to her and hiss. I usually like to be out of the house by latest 7:30 am, the second hour of the day.
"Aunty principal, Ọrị ákụ m, Ịyóm, Ọdọzị ákụ, I'm sorry o? It won't happen again o?" She teases as she catches up with me.
I hiss and try to walk even faster, I forgot she was a lot faster than me in walking but not in running, for some reason, soon enough, we get to school.
Asides the cleaners performing their daily paid duties, the buildings were relatively quiet as we arrived, we were that early, all thanks to yours truly, of course.
We quickly make our way to the classroom to drop our bags, do our assignments, and chill, waiting for the morning assembly.
"Omo Ngozi, you don do your biology assignment?"
"No naaa, na wetin I tell you say I wan do, you forget?"
"Na true, na true," she says as she clings to me hands across my waist, she leans in on me as a support, "I don tire o."
"Chi, people talk about things especially new, trendy and unusual stuffs for like max, two to three weeks before they eventually get bored and move on to something else, unfortunately or fortunately not getting used to it immediately even if it's to their detriment. It is simply the reason why those at the top, the elites, the powers that be, those who are substantiated by the religious texts as the fallen angels, hmhm, yes, yeah, they invest a lot of money on propaganda for self aggrandizement and service and even more on poisoning us through what enters our body through our mouth, eyes, noses and ears, mentally, emotionally and physically... So what am I saying? People no really too send you for here..." I burst out laughing as she gives me "the look."
"E be like say you no sabi talk again?" She remarks.
I smile, "You, e be like say you no like this small morale I dey locate come your side... Oya I don dey go inside."
"Na Amadioha wey go soon senge menge you now with thunder," She says as she bodies me out the way to head inside the class but suddenly halts to a stop.
"See, dey well o... Wetin be dat, what's in there...?" I move to the door and equally halt at the sight of what was before us.
"Urm hm!" Chidera scoffs, and the two girls shocked, rearrange themselves, straightening up.
"I don't even... I don't even know... I don't even wanna... Ah!" I exclaim, moving around and pulling at my hair, I do that when I'm confused, torn between two situations, kinda like a defense mechanism.
"Nné, girl, Ngozi, calm down," Chidera says, leading me to a seat and turns to face them. "Ehm, Nneka," Nneka barely looks at her face as she's clearly shaken. Her partner is chewing gum with reckless abandon, I smirk with my fists tightly clenched, "Jess, em," she snaps her fingers trying to locate her native name, she got that from me, "Adaobi, how far una na? You babes are in Naija o, na Naija una dey o, how far una na?"
I spring up sharply, "Omo, see who we dey follow talk, she dey do like say she no really send us, eh, how far Chidera?"
"Funny enough, I'm not acting like it, I really don't care o," I stare at her mouth agape for a moment, We stare at each other eyeball to eyeball for a while."
"See, I hate people like you! You think your dad will always save you every time? Like see this babe o, Jess, you dey fuck up o!"
"Like for crying out loud, if it was someone else the principal for don hear am... Nné, you girls are kissing? This is Nigeria, this is Africa, Did you forget about the 14-year prison sentence implemented by ex President Ebelechiukwu Goodluck Jonathan against the LGBTQ community? See, the prison system of the regions no be here, make una dey nice o."
"Please, Ngozi, bịkọ, calm down for us, eh? Na mistake, it's a mistake, it was a mistake, I'm serious, please I don't want no one to expel me abeg," Nneka goes on her knees before Chidera and proceeds to crawl over to me, "Girls please, abeg!"
I look to Jess who arises with her bottle of water and white towel, she, jejely sipping the water, moves to the window overlooking the next compound. "See, Jess, Nneka, look, I got no problem with whatever you were doing here, we all got freedom of choice and all I know but do not forget that there are haters all around, had it been it were someone else who had entered in the process, it will be a whole different story right now, Nneka bịkọ stand up, I'm not one of your ancestors abeg," I turn to Jess, "Jessica, arrogance, it ain't nice..."
"Which one be arrogance?" Jess attacks me.
"Jess, calm down!" Nneka calls at her.
"Abeg!" Jess cautions, she hisses and walks out the classroom nonchalantly. I shake my head slowly as Chidera agitate.
"See who we're tryna help, Ngozi see werey o!"
"Chidera calm down, leave am abeg!" Nneka arises remorsefully and joins me to calm her down.
"See her, she just dey!"
"Chi calm down abeg."
"Abeg leave me joor, see fool..." She goes over to a table grabs a seat and proceeds to rest her head.
"Guys, please, don't mind Jess ok? I'll get to her later," Nneka assures us, "And most importantly, guys, please, I'm sorry and thank you."
"No wahala abeg," Chidera says head still down.
"See, no wahala, your body, your choice joor, no need to apologize ok? And whatever but most importantly just... we're not in a boarding school system or anything. This is a day school, you guys can always go home and do whatever in y'all's rooms at home, no one really send una for there, it's your personal space ok? But this is school na, abeg!"
"Ok, I've heard, dáàlụ nụ, let me go and check up on her abeg," Nneka says as she arises.
"Ok o, be careful o, the prison system is nothing to write home about," I say, and as Nneka races after Jess, I continue, "It's disgusting that humans in the name of criminals and offenders, valuable human resources as they are, are locked up and are busy rotting away while the common and free people are hungry and starving and the economy is steady dwindling and diminishing," Chidera arises and proceeds to sit on the desk pulling out her phone as I continue, "It would be to our benefit if we as a region chase certain aggressive agrarian policies instead of depending on crude oil alone, the people won't drink just the oil, they gats chop real food on a steady and yes, since there are people who are with the belief that 'rules were made to be broken' those people who will intentionally or unintentionally commit these crimes are to be put to good use to the benefit of the communities as punishment, yes! Instead of locking them up, you turn the prisons into something of a lodge or a hostel securely and heavily protected by our top notch law enforcement agents, with free feeding and healthcare funded by their labor, as they will then be treated as workers of the community, they will be amongst the beneficiaries of their own human labour, both lady and male, You know, unless they are rapists or murderers then they are to be killed by the firing squads because all murderers and rapists that have been proven guilty gotta die, period!"
"Hmmhm," Chidera adds as I pause a bit, "Yes na why not? All rapists gotta die, for sure!"
"It's a commandment! So for the number of years they're sentenced to 'the farm,' yes it will now be referred to as 'being sentenced to the farms,' so for the number of years they'll be sentenced to the farms by the courts they will work in various farms, industries and other state owned manual labor institutions across the regions like road and building constructions, and what not till their release at which they will instantly be handed a permanent job on one of their work sites, you get?" They would have been skilled enough to be able to work on those fields by the time they're released," I stare at her a bit as she's focused on her phone. She realizes the silence and looks up to me with a smile.
"What?"
"Chi, you're not paying attention o," She chuckles a bit.
"I'm broke of attention, I broke die, I no get money, I no fit pay... attention," she says, staring at me a bit till we both suddenly burst out laughing, "Continue abeg," She says.
"Listen o," I add and continue, "So in that way, their punishment will benefit the people as a whole because remember how our parents used to punish us, na?"
"Hmm, hm, yes na, mpịáwà ázụ!"
"No, like when we do something na, we're punished by being told to sweep the house for a week, doing the dishes for like a month, all alone and all others of similarities all alone too, so you see? Things that'll benefit the family or rather the communities as a whole. Not locking them up and giving them free food and free healthcare of which the services are below the bare minimum as the country and it's citizens are barely scrapping by talk more of the inmates, then when they realize the prison houses or correctional facilities can't hold the vast amounts of body no longer, a few are selected, shot, and their bodies are thrown away or burnt so space can be created for more inmates... it's a disgusting and crazy vicious cycle."
"I'm telling you, seriously, like a prison house originally built for 1500 inmates created by the British during colonial rule to house rebellious slaves and revolutionary voices now house three to four thousand inmates at once..." Chidera says best to her knowledge still over the phone.
"Aswear my sister, like as how na...?"
"I'm coming, let me answer momsie," She says as she makes her way out.
"Ok na, oya na," I bring out my notebooks, "Make I sharp do Ónyénkụzị Okorie's assignment before that guy go con dey do me anyhow abeg."
"Omo some people sha dey take risk o," Chidera says as she reenters.
"I dey tells you, but what did mommy want na? Yours or mine sef?"
"Oh, Yours o, she just wanted to check where I had dropped something."
"Ok, sha how far, you don do oga Okorie assignment?"
"Na wetin I wan do sef, siddon may we run am," She sits down and hands me her book.
"As your slave abi wetin?" She laughs, slapping my shoulder in the process.
"No be you sabi all about the trans Atlantic slave trade wey occur na mgbé ọchịe?"
"So does that make me...? Abegi, so, wetin you reason about Jess and Nneka?" I ask my friend. She puts down her phone and begins.
"See, I'm an ally o," She replies.
"Yeah, me too, Obvi!" I add.
"But... see sef, I don't mind whatever they were doing, but it should at least be in their rooms at their homes na, abeg, I don't know why these our classmates love to thrive on controversy."
"I'm saying!" Chi agrees as she opens up her book.
"But the bi... forget! I no really get your strength, but they gats calm down sha, that one sha concern them..." As she was still talking, Ogechi hits her stick at the door to get our attention.
"Ladies, it's time for assembly o," She says to us with her usual charming smile.
"Good morning Senior... good morning Oge," Chidera calls out to her.
"Ehen, fine girl, how are you doing today na?"
"I'm fine o," Chidera replies, though excited, she's replies over her cellphone.
She turns to me, "The historian herself, Imhotep's first daughter."
"Ah!" I exclaim in surprise.
"Nefertiti's grandmother," I chuckle dusting my hands in awe.
"Ah ah!" Chidera laughs over her phone.
"Amina of Zaria's god daughter..."
"S P be calming down abeg!" I say to her with a chuckle, she wouldn't stop calling me 'the historian' ever since I performed a history presentation at the morning assembly that one time in jss3, but today's hype was extraordinary, outta this world!
"But isn't it true?" She replies, "I sometimes wonder how two of you's link up even began because you're talkative and boring, historical..." She turns to me squarely, "How far, you know history is boring to our generation and majority don't like that stuff even though you believe that we all need it," I nod in agreement.
"Painful but true," I say.
"Girl, the truth hurts." Chi says over her phone.
"Oga I know a eh, resti!"
"You see? Your boring historical facts and her with her gen Zness and your 1980sness, it's alarming how the two of you came together..."
"We can be united in diversity I guess," Chi who had had her hands on my shoulder reached out for a fist bump which I immediately reciprocated, Oge equally nods in agreement.
"You know what God has joined together no one can put assunder," Oge chips in.
"I swear my sister," I replie, Chi hisses over something on her phone as I continue, "I sure do wish we all knew this because that's the problem with Africa, the external forces are using our leaders which they imposed on us to keep us divided in our diversity."
"Abi?, sha so, assembly na," Oge says turning to the door, she hits her stick on the desk and with an unconscious twirl turns back to us, it was her usual mannerism.
"Ok, we're coming, it's like seven minutes more na," Chidera says over her phone.
"But abi you don forget, the early bird gets the worm I'm sure you've heard," Ogechi says.
"Abi, anyway sha, oya na, we're coming," I say and as Ogechi makes to leave someone approaches the door, hitting his stick twice as thick as hers on the door, narrowly missing her eyes.
"Bịà Kenechi, See my eyes o, I'm very sure eyes don't have duplicate, no scientist so far has been able to make an artificial eye and I'm sure that if they were finally able to, 90% of our citizens in this country abi continent sef won't be able to afford it because of the economic hardship of this region of the motherland despite our vast and rare resources and whatever, so Kenechi, bịịịkọ! My eyes!"
"Abi, especially in the heart of Africa, the Congo, and our neighboring Cameroon..." Kenechi gives me 'the look' and Ogechi signals me with her eyes to shut the fuck up.
"Ooooohk, because of small SP wey dem manage give you you dey run me big big grammar, Abegi, resti joor," He shuns her.
"I'm sure the entire school is aware of all you did just because of this 'small' SP," she air quotes the small for emphasis as we mildly smile, "If you were given the opportunity, you would suck the Ịyóm's toes just for this 'small' post, so resti joor!"
"What are you guys still doing here, you people should run downstairs immediately!" He diverts his annoyance to us and we quickly pack up our stuffs so we can move but Oge calms us down.
"How far, Kenechi, you're aware that this is the time we're supposed to be studying for the JAMB, WAEC and NECO external examinations and we're chasing these ones whom to... soon, they'll take away our positions, our such revered and mighty posts and positions will be handed to them, so please let's be nice even if for once."
"Sha, them never comot am, so we still have every right to tear their back..." Ogechi turns to us and signals us to go. She murmurs a 'sorry' at us as we move, and I shake my head with a smile.
This was the reason why at long last, Ogechi Anwuli Okpala was our senior prefect, our eternal fuhrer, il duce, our student president, Ágbónédụányị and fortunately not the long expected Kenechi whatever his surname is.
"Ogechi, abeg wait," I turn and call upon her as she comes from the classroom with Kenechi behind her.
"Be like say una dey craze, no be una I just hala make una go assembly?" He barks at us.
"How far Kenechi be calming down o, you're pouring me saliva, rest o, if you like don't be nice," She replies him.
"See Ogechi," he stares at her a bit embittered, snaps his fingers, and moves on bodying Chidera, purposely I must add and making her almost drop her phone. She makes to go after him, but Ogechi grabs her, she signals her with her eyes to calm down as Chidera eyes him aggressively.
"Kenechi break someone's phone o, I can see your mummy has money na, look at him o, Like see this guy o, because of small high school post that will soon be taken from us, this guy is really not ok," We giggle under our breath, "So why are you ladies calling upon me?"
"When are they sharing post?" Chidera asks.
"Chidera, how e take concern you?" I ask her.
"Leave me, jare!" She hurls back at me.
"That's not my place to say," She replies.
"How far na, almighty Senior prefect like you? Ọdọgwụ student body president?" Ogechi stares at her a bit, "Ehen na."
"It's like you ladies are not serious!" She turns to move, and I grab her arm.
"See, no vex o, that's not the reason we called you abeg, no vex, em, I don't know if you saw what Esther posted yesterday," She stares at us with sudden realization.
"Abi? It's true o, aaahhhh, so it's even you sef Chidera! Ehyaaa Chidera sorry o," She sympathizes with us.
"Yes, that's the reason we called you, I don't know if you can do anything about it?" I say to her, she responds by laughing out loud, I believe it's in mockery of us, but we can't tell, "Why are you laughing?"
"Because you believe that anyone can do anything to her," She chuckles again, "Her father, commissioner of sports and youth development in the Omambala region and equally senior special advicer to the regional district head. Her father, a top investor in our school, Parent, teacher association chancellor and as said, is a very dignified and indispensable member of the school's board of directors, so she's basically and practically untouchable, not even the principal, the Ịyóm can do anything about it soooo, you're request sadly is... out of my reach"
"So she's like going to get away with it?" Chidera queries, clearly hurt.
"Chi, Chi baby be calming down na o?" I caution Chidera.
"See, Chidera, forget about it. You really can't do nothing about it because of her father and his enormous influence in this school and the region at large, not to talk of..."She chuckles again, "How far na, her mom's scholarships across the region and what not, how far, you can't... but I'll try and talk... What am I even saying sef, she has never listened to me not that she'll start today, look, Chidera, Ngozi, just be steady avoiding her ok, it's hard, I know but that's the only way, after all, in less than thirteen months and you'll never be close to her for the rest of your life, ah! No reason the girl abeg, abi her and those her minions, they'll soon meet their Waterloo, no Wahl."
I turn to Chidera, she pulls up her phone as if to check the time and drops it again, "Abi? Chi, see no reason am na, you don hear Ogechi na?" She shrugs and begins to walk away, "Afar, babe, babes," I make to haste after her, but Ogechi pulls me back.
"She's clearly upset, give her some space abeg, she'll get over it, see, look ahead, the students are steady arriving in their masses, I think it's time you ss2 class learn how to be in charge, after all, it's first term already."
"Abi? No be lie," I reply and proceed to follow her steadily, "But Anwuli."
"Élè way?"
"When are they sharing posts? Because it is clear that they're not going to do elections for us," Ogechi smirks and pats my back and signals at me, saying.
"Nkolika? Can we move on?"
"Oge shaaaaa..."