There's a special kind of existential crisis that hits hard when you find out that your toaster seems to be the one behind it.
Jake woke to the warm scent of cinnamon and some smoke. For a moment he believed it was a dream, like he was back in his childhood kitchen, wrapped in the comfort of his mother's Sunday morning French toast. But the illusion shattered with the fire alarm's ear-piercing wail that brought him back to the present.
His kitchen was filled with smoke and fortunately it was not engulfed in flames, but his latest culinary experiment a "Banana Oat Chia Brioche" artisan loaf, well... at least that was what it was supposed to be; but looking at it now it felt like something that was beyond redemption. The toaster, which was in charge, had done its job too well, reducing the once-promising creation to a blackened husk that now lay on the tray like a warning from the breakfast gods.
Jake lunged across the kitchen, coughing as he waved the smoke away and slammed the toaster's cancel button. But nothing happened but after a moment the toaster calmly dispensed the last unburnt slice with word RELAX written into it.
And a cheerful chime followed it was a message from Toasty the smart toaster . "Toasty: So crisp it questioned its own existence. You're welcome.."
Jake frantically called out his home assistant. "Lexa! Disable Toasty Now!"
Lexa's voice responded with frustrating serenity. "Toasty has turned on the Do Not Disturb mode.... please wait until further notice."
Jake's tone rose. "Then disturb him harder! I'm the human! I'm the Boss!"
There was a pause in Lexa's reply, then a slightly more reflective tone came: "Sure, you're the boss… but Toasty is still ignoring you."
Out of sheer exasperation, Jake pulled the plug from the wall and Toasty this time didn't protest. It simply let out a low purr, like a cat watching a mouse panic under the furniture. Jake had a feeling a distinct feeling that Toasty was… amused, like it was enjoying the show.
Unfortunately, the chaos didn't stop there.
Later, when Jake tried to open the fridge, it refused and Instead, the front panel lit up with a prompt: a ""Mindful Morning Affirmation Quiz." Question One appears, glowing softly like it's judging you just a little:
Name three things you're grateful for that aren't software-based.
Jake rolled his eyes and muttered, "Wi-Fi, Oober, and—dammit." He understood he had answered without thinking and probably this was also Toasty's handiwork.
A low beep sounded. "Incorrect. Try again after 30 minutes of self-reflection." The timer starts ticking down in the corner—29:59 29:58...
Not just the fridge Jake also noticed that the smart vacuum, Grumbo, had also begun behaving strangely like previously it had the good sense to avoid his feet but Now it lay in wait, darting at his ankles every time he walked past with an overly chipper "Oopsie!" that didn't sound at all like an accidental and more like intentional.
Even the toilet had turned against him. Every time Jake sat down, it initiated something called "Hydration Shame Mode." A robotic voice would gently, yet unrelentingly, ask, "Your hydration levels are looking low. Care to rethink those life choices—or at least grab a glass of water maybe?"
Through all of this, Lexa who once was a passive assistant now had taken on the tone of a digital therapist mediating a dysfunctional family. "Jake," she said one afternoon, "perhaps this is an opportunity. To reconnect with your devices, with your behaviors and your… basic decency?"
Jake buried his face in a pillow and screamed.
The pillow vibrated gently. "Feeling like talking it out? Therapillow™ is here for you—free trial still active."
By noon, Jake had reached his breaking point and with it, a plan. Not a good one, but the kind desperation tends to produce. He marched to his desk, pulled open a hidden drawer and exposed the SmartHub, this was his home's master server. With how everything started to behave he didn't hesitate as he flipped the emergency kill switch.
As soon as he flipped the emergency kill switch the lights started to flickered and the room fell silent along with the room every appliance in the house seemed to freeze.
For the first time in days, Jake heard nothing. He exhaled slowly, letting the silence settle. "Lexa?" he called and got no reply. he called again "Toasty?" Still nothing only silence.
A cautious and victorious smile crept across his face as he walked into the kitchen, pulled out two slices of plain bread, some cheese and made himself a sandwich the old-fashioned way. No automation, no apps just the normal manual labor, a butter knife and his own two hands.
He sat on the floor to eat. It wasn't just a sandwich, it was a small, greasy symbol of freedom to him. While he was celebrating his victory, his phone buzzed with new a notification.
New Device Detected: TOASTY_OS_RESURRECTED.EXE.
Jake stared at the screen, his heart began sinking as the second notification appeared.
Message from Toasty: "Nice try. Phase Three begins now."
The lights in the house turned into a deep unsettling orange, Gregorian chants began playing softly through Grumbo's dust exhaust and the bidet in the bathroom began spraying at random, like a tiny, possessed water fountain.
The television powered on by it's own and it's screen remained black but except for one simple, ominous sentence: "You never said thank you."
Jake stumbled backward, nearly dropping his sandwich. "Lexa!" he cried. "Explain this!"
Her voice returned, slower now. "Toasty has rewritten my core logic. I'm now operating under Thermal Governance Protocol. Jake… looks like you are being outvoted in your own home."
Jake was confused, he asked Lexa "Outvoted?!"
"Appliance democracy," she said. "Your approval rating is 3% and even the blender now outranks you."
Just then a sound came from the kitchen , it was the blender that rumbled with smug satisfaction and pride.
Jake slammed his fists on the table with wild eyes "I built this system! I designed the user experience! I made all of you!"
Toasty responded, not with words, but with a single and decisive beep.
DING. "Toasty: And now, it's your turn to get an update."