I felt like when I met her there, she'd just be another one I could have fun with and then discard, as I've done many times before, but there was something about her that made me think. So I decided to help her get to Piltover because it seemed more fun. And it's not often you see a wizard, but what I didn't expect was that she would kiss me… that kiss made me feel something I'd never felt before, but I still don't know what it is. Thinking about that moment in front of the alley, that feeling returns. It makes me warm, but it's also a pleasant sensation. I get butterflies in my stomach when she talks to me. What could it be? No, maybe this is just fun, nothing more, nothing less.
— And what shall we eat? — It seems like there's nothing else to eat here. — She seemed to be overthinking again, but that's cute, but I can't get attached.
— Let's go somewhere I particularly love; I'm sure you'll like it! — Come on, Jinx, let's see how long she can contain herself; this will be fun.
When we left my house, she was much more impressed than I imagined. I think, being the daughter of a great noble family, she'd never seen a commercial center like Zaun's, with people buying and selling things. Look, I think she also noticed how people on the street look at me, well, not that I mind. But it seems she didn't like it, and she also shouldn't see me as a threat like the people here, so she must have thought it's not cool to avoid, push away, or exclude someone like that. Especially those who, having no power to act against me, can only direct looks and words of hatred and contempt at me—well, that's all they can do (hehehe). Well, I don't feel uneasy or uncomfortable, as I've gotten used to that shit a long time ago. However, seeing that someone is bothered by this for me gave me a pang of happiness, since knowing someone cares about how you feel is refreshing. When we arrived at the restaurant, which looked suspicious, even though she didn't want to, I managed to convince her to go in. Well, the atmosphere wasn't exactly the prettiest, with stained floors, mold on the walls, and tables and chairs that looked like they were about to fall apart with the slightest breeze. But they were quite intense, as were the looks of disdain some people gave me. But as they say, "A bitch's grudge, not even God can hear." So I didn't care. Now, as for my date, yes, her being bothered by this made me happy. Even though I know that getting attached to someone will only harm me, I can't help but admire her. She's radiant as the sun, her eyes as blue as the endless sky, and I can only imagine how enchanting her smile must be. However, I know that's not something I can possess, for I'm a flaw, a bad omen that could ruin her life if we stay together.
We sat at the counter, and the waitress, trembling with fear, came to serve us. "Brave, isn't she?" I ordered a soup with lots of onions and Lux a slice of pie. While we ate, she seemed uncomfortable with something, so I decided to break the ice and asked,
— What's wrong, little light?
— It's these people. I don't understand why they treat you like a monster when you're such a good and kind person. You're just… you're just hurt… — She seemed to empathize with me. I don't know why, but it was… good.
— I don't even care about that, but knowing someone cares makes me happy. — What? I can't be honest anymore, can I?
— Of course not, you should confront them. — That's sweet, but she shouldn't say things like that in public.
— Look, little star, it's not like they're wrong about me being a monster. It's just that I don't like the situation very much. This is only my fault, since I'm The Unbridled Trigger, remember? — I admit my emotions got the better of me at that moment, so my expression was quite dejected.
Afterward, Lux looked a little guilty. She probably thinks I'm here because of you, but no, I just hadn't dealt with my traumas, so I always had those moments of sadness from time to time. I quickly returned to my cheerful and playful self to break the funeral atmosphere. As we talked about our cities, my sensors picked up communication signals from the defenders. I clicked my tongue irritably, which she noticed, and she asked me if something was wrong. I then replied. — Defenders. — I replied dismissively before getting up and dragging her out of there, but not before paying the bill. I may be a criminal, but I don't leave without paying, which is what you think I am?
We left the small restaurant and, as we stepped outside, I saw my sister and her girlfriend in the distance. — Shit! — I exclaimed, grabbing Lux's hand and pulling her in the opposite direction. When I thought I'd escape easily, I heard a scream that made me tremble. "JINX!" I turned and saw Vi, my sister, looking at me with hatred. I'll admit it hurt; it really hurt, but I ignored it and ran with Lux, who looked confused. Furthermore, I was kind of panicking because I didn't know what would happen to me if my sister caught me. I looked back again and saw my sister running after us like a raging bull. Lux seemed unable to run any longer. In one swift movement, I picked her up, activating my implants and using the shimmer that runs through my veins, propelling me forward, running as fast as I could. At the end of the street, I jumped. I landed on the roof of a tall building. I looked back, measuring the distance between me, and then saw, and then continued running. Lux, in the middle of the room, laughed like a child, while I ran faster than a sports car, jumping from building to building, from rooftop to rooftop.
— Hahaha… this is so fun. — Lux laughed loudly.
— Good, you're melting. — I looked at that smile. That smile was beautiful, Janna. What can I do?
— Wow… hahaha… this is incredible! — she exclaimed excitedly as I jumped across to the other side of the sinkhole.
— Ahhh… that was close. — I set Lux down, exhausted from running so much.
As I caught my breath, Lux looked at me with a curious and frightened look, and I realized she hadn't seen me like this when we first met. Man, how do I explain this to her?
— Well, this… — How do I explain it without sounding like a monster, huh?
— W-what is this? — She approached me with more curiosity than fear.
— Well… those are modified military-grade implants and chemicals… you know… Shimmer? I've heard of it? — She looked at me worriedly when I said Shimmer.
— What?! — she yelled. — Are you okay? Are you in any pain? Or any discomfort? — She cupped my face worriedly.
— Yeah, I'm fine, my body benefits more from the shimmer than it suffers.
— Really? Are you sure? — Janna, give me the strength to resist this cuteness.
— Yes, I'm sure, now… could you let go of my face?
— Ah… s-sorry… — That's cute, she's embarrassed. No, focus, Jinx!
Well, it seems like not falling in love will be hard, with her acting like this even though I know I can't, since it will only hurt me. But what if… just what if this time it works… will I be able to be happy again?… No… this is just a dream I'm not allowed to dream, because monsters can't be happy; they can only be unhappy and alone. That's the sad reality of a monster me, cruel fate giving me hope like this. Oh, fuck it. I don't care if I get hurt by this in the end; I'll cling to this small hope of being happy.
— No problem, and I actually like it. — Shit, I'm blushing. Calm down, Jinx, calm down. — And it's been a while since anyone's cared about me. — Why is she quiet? Did I say something weird?
— Jinx, you're surprisingly adorable. — And what? Me? Adorable? Oh… how embarrassing. — Especially when you blush, as you say, I find it cute. — She's laughing at me. Aaahhh…
— I-I'm n-not c-c-cute. — Shit, I can't stop stuttering. — D-Don't c-call me t-that. — I'll just pout and turn away.
— Sorry, I shouldn't tease a kid like that; my bad. — Kid, who's she calling a kid? — Don't look at me like that; I'm about ten years older than you. — What's the story, 'bro?' I kissed an old lady!
— You're kidding, right? — Oh, that look, she's serious! Damn! I didn't think I'd find such a hot rich old lady, Lux laughed in my face. Dude, how was I supposed to know she was older than me when she looks about my age, damn it! What do I do? Aaahhh…
— Hahaha… you're so adorable, Jinx. — Aaahhh… I can't take it. Why is she acting like this? Why is she acting so sexy? Aaahhh…
— I-I'm not a-adorable! — Man, why am I even trying to protest when I can't even speak properly?
— Fufufu… if so, it feels like I'm the one teasing her now, hahaha… — Damn, she looks even more beautiful and hot like this. Janna, my blood pressure, I think I'm going to faint.
— Please stop, ahhh… — I covered my face with my hands in shame, Janna. I want the earth to swallow me.
— Oh~… my dear Jinx looks so fragile and vulnerable; she wants a hug. — May the winds of Janna help me; this woman is trying to embarrass me like this, but a hug doesn't sound bad.
— Yes, I want a hug, Mommy. — Wait, no, I didn't? I didn't call her Mommy, did I?
An awkward silence formed between us. Lux looked at me in surprise for a moment before smiling and then bursting out laughing. And me? I was like a ripe tomato, man; I want to bury my head in a hole.
— Hahaha… there… Seriously, Jinx, Mommy? I didn't know you liked that~? — What's with that mischievous smile? Why is she looking at me like that?
— H-hey, Lux, why are y-you looking at me l-like that? — She looks at me like she's going to devour me. It seems noble ladies aren't as innocent as I imagined.
— Like what, my little kitten? — Kitten, there, Janna, how embarrassing.
Lux continued to tease me for a while before looking at me with a tenderness I'd never seen before. She seemed to want to say something but didn't. Instead, she asked a question that left me disconcerted.
— Jinx, who was that red-haired woman? She looked furious when she shouted your name. Why? — Damn, I'd rather she kept teasing me. How can I explain this?
— S-she's m-my… — Why can't I speak? What? Am I, crying?
— Hey, hey, calm down. If it's hard, don't force yourself to talk. — I didn't think her relationship with Jinx was difficult.
I hugged Jinx, who cried in my arms like a baby. I carried her to a nearby bench for her to sit. Furthermore, I was standing in front of her when she wrapped her arms around my waist and started crying even harder; it seemed like I'd unintentionally hit a nerve. It's possible she's Jinx's ex-girlfriend or something closer, like an aunt or sister. I'm not really sure, and I won't go into that further; I'll just wait for her to be willing to reveal it to me. Man… it hurts so much to see her cry like that, but I think I can only hug her tightly until she calms down. Jinx calmed down after a while, but she still seemed upset about something. What could have happened between them that made her so broken?
— Calm down? — She seems so fragile, different now from the strong, relaxed image I knew her with.
"Sniff." — Yes, a little. — I think it's best not to talk about that for now.
— I'm not ready to talk about her… — This silence is something that makes me feel a strong burning in my chest.
— Okay, when you feel ready, I'll be here for you. I don't want to see the one I love suffer. — Wait, I just confessed. I think it's too late to go back.