I walked away from the ranch without looking back.
Sa isip ko, tapos na.
Tapos na ang lahat.
Paul is gone.
David isn’t him.
And the world doesn’t stop just because your heart does.
But as i reached the edge of the dirt road, I saw Lucien leaning against the car.
His eyes locked onto me, pero para siyang wala sa sarili.
His hands were shaking.
Sweat on his temples.
His breathing, ragged.
He looked—
“Lucien?” I whispered.
He didn’t answer.
“Lucien,” I said again, louder this time.
Then suddenly, he grabbed the car door, slammed it shut, and muttered something i couldn’t hear.
“What?” I asked, stepping closer.
He laughed. A bitter, cracked kind of laugh.
“Wala,” he said. “Wala lang. Masaya lang akong makita ka.”
He wasn't smiling.
His eyes were glassy.
Haunted.
Like he'd just remembered something he tried to bury alive.
“Ikaw kasi eh,” he mumbled, voice spiraling low. “Kapag nakikita kita, para kang multo. Para kang si Paul. Para akong nababaliw.”
My heart stopped. “Lucien…”
He blinked fast, then stared ahead blankly.
“Alam mo bang minsan…” his voice cracked, “...iniisip ko na lang na ikaw si Paul? Na bumalik siya. Na ganun kabaliw ang utak ko. Kasi 'pag ikaw yung tinitingnan ko, kahit galit ka, kahit hindi mo ko matignan... nandun siya. Yung ngiti niya. Yung mata. Yung himig ng boses niya nung tinatawag niya akong ‘Papa.’”
“Lucien, enough—”
“Hindi ako okay!” he snapped, voice rising in a sudden outburst that startled even him. “Hindi ako natutulog, Aurora. Hindi ako humihinga. Akala mo lang. Pero sa loob ko, sunog pa rin lahat.”
His chest heaved. His hands balled into fists.
He pressed both palms against his face and groaned like he was trying to rip something out of his own skull.
"Wala akong nailigtas. Wala. WALA! Sinubukan ko, okay? Tumakbo ako pabalik. Kinuha ko na yung driver, sinigawan ko pa yung mga bumbero. Pero wala na. Late na. Paul was already—" He choked.
“I was holding the doorknob of your room,” he whispered. “Nagliliyab na. Hindi ko na kaya buksan. Nasusunog na. At lahat ng sigaw niya, Aurora, Papa, lahat yun, hanggang ngayon, tunog pa rin sa tenga ko.”
I froze.
He was crying now.
No shame.
No pride.
Just a man coming undone.
“I’m still there, Aurora. Doon sa bahay na nasusunog. Doon sa kwarto na hindi ko maabot. And I swear to God, minsan naiisip ko… dapat ako na lang ang natupok. Hindi siya. HINDI SIYA.”
“Lucien…” My lips quivered.
He looked at me, eyes red, wild, shaking. Guilt was rotting him from the inside.
“You remind me of the only part of me that was good,” he said in a whisper. “And i hate you for it.”
Then he laughed again.
Quietly. Manically.
As if his sanity was on a tightrope, ready to snap.
“But I love you, too. Kasi sa’yo lang siya buhay.”
My knees nearly gave out.
“Ikaw na lang ang natitira sa kanya. Sa’yo ko siya nakikita. Kapag naglalakad ka. Kapag nagsasalita ka. Kapag galit ka. Kapag umiiyak ka.”
He took one unsteady breath.
“Kaya hinahanap kita kahit ayaw mo. Kaya sinusundan kita kahit pilit mong tumakbo. Hindi ikaw ang hinahabol ko, Aurora.”
He placed a shaking hand on his chest.
“Siya. Anak ko.”
And just like that, something in me shattered.
I took a step back. My skin cold.
“Let’s go,” he said flatly, already walking to the car. “Uwi na tayo. Patay na siya.”
No inflection. No hesitation.
Just... emptiness.
That was it.
No closure.
No apology.
Just the unraveling of a man who never really moved on.
And a girl who finally did.
But in that final glance, before he opened the car door—I saw it.
The ghost of a father still calling out to a son who would never answer.
And the terrifying truth that love… when left to rot…
Doesn’t die.
It festers.