I woke up drenched in sweat.
Yung tipo ng pawis na parang binuhusan ka ng tubig sa kaba, not from heat, but fear. My chest was tight, like someone had wrapped their hands around my lungs and dared me to breathe.
Panaginip lang.
Pero ang vivid.
I was back in our house in the States. The one with the dark wooden stairs and the fireplace no one used.
Naririnig ko yung sigawan.
Galit na galit si Daddy.
Hysterical si Mommy.
Paul was shouting my name.
“Aurora! Come on! Let’s go, now!”
He was pulling me, dragging me out of the kitchen habang umuusok na yung hallway.
I could feel the heat.
The panic.
The tension
The way the tiles were burning under my feet.
I didn’t want to leave.
I didn’t understand.
Pero si Paul, he kept shouting, “You have to get out! Please, Aurora, RUN!”
Then he shoved me out the back door.
Paglingon ko—
Boom.
I jolted awake before the explosion.
I wanted to scream.
Pero wala.
My throat was dry, and my body wouldn’t move.
Parang may humahawak pa rin sa akin.
Pagtingin ko sa paligid, I was back in the new condo.
The safe one.
The one i didn’t choose.
The city lights glowed through the glass wall.
Tahimik. Malamig.
But all i could think about was Paul.
I didn’t tell Calix about the dream.
How do you tell someone na naririnig mo pa rin siya, na minumulto ka pa rin ng nakaraan, na sa bawat galaw mo ay parang may nanonood sayo.
Instead, I just got dressed and headed to the stables.
I needed noise.
I needed distraction.
I needed a horse under me para maalala ko kung sino ako.
Luis greeted me at the barn with a nod. “Back to training?”
I nodded. “Let’s go.”
“Dressage muna, or gusto mo na agad ng jumps?”
“Both.”
Luis just smirked. “Sige. Paubos ng energy, ha.”
I liked him.
He didn’t ask questions.
He just handed me my gloves and gave instructions. No drama, no pity, no fake comfort.
I mounted Storm, my horse, and we started slow. Trot. Canter. Control. Breathe.
The rhythm calmed me.
Yung mga rules ng dressage, it gave me something to follow. Hindi siya gaya ng buhay, magulo, unfair, unpredictable.
Dito, every movement had a reason.
Then i heard it.
A voice. Low. Familiar.
“Back in the saddle, I see.”
Lucien.
Nakatayo siya sa gilid ng arena, arms crossed, eyes hidden behind dark sunglasses. Laging naka-black. Laging parang may tinatago.
I pulled on the reins and slowed Storm to a halt.
“You again?” I raised an eyebrow.
“I work here, remember?”
“Unfortunately.”
He walked closer, boots crunching on the gravel.
“You’re getting better,” he said, scanning my posture. “Less rigid. You used to ride like you had something to prove.”
I tilted my chin. “Maybe i still do.”
He smirked. “Namimiss mo na ba si Paul?”
I froze.
The air went still.
“Shut up,” I said, voice flat.
He didn’t push.
Just turned and walked away like that question wasn’t a grenade he just casually tossed at me.
Putangina.
Bakit kailangan niyang banggitin si Paul like that? Parang wala lang? Parang hindi ko pa binubuo sarili ko?
I kicked Storm into motion again.
Faster this time. Sobra.
Jump after jump until my legs screamed and my hands were raw.
I didn’t stop. Not until Luis called me out.
“Aurora, tama na. You’re not riding, you’re punishing yourself.”
I dismounted. My muscles were shaking.
“I’m fine.”
“No, you’re angry.”
“I said—I’m. Fine.”
He didn’t argue.
That’s why i trusted him.
Pag-uwi ko, I found Calix in the kitchen.
Wearing an apron.
And making breakfast.
He looked ridiculous.
The apron said, “Kiss the Chef.” I almost snorted.
“Tulog ka pa nung umalis ako,” I said.
He glanced up. “Nagising ako nung nag-shower ka. Nagluto na rin ako. Gusto mo eggs?”
“Why are you like this?” I muttered, dropping my gloves on the counter.
“Like what?”
“Like... predictable.”
He chuckled. “Thanks?”
“No. I mean, you do the same things. You care in the same way. You move things quietly. You don’t say much, but you’re always there.”
“Would you rather i wasn’t?”
I didn’t answer.
I sat down at the bar.
He placed a plate of scrambled eggs and toast in front of me.
Tinignan ko lang.
“Hindi ka rin magaling magluto,” I said.
“I’m learning.”
Tahimik.
Tapos, I looked at him.
Really looked.
And i realized—
I didn’t flinch this time.
His presence didn’t feel threatening.
Or annoying.
It was... constant. Familiar.
Shit.
Was i starting to trust him again?
Or worse—
Was i starting to like him again?
That night, habang nakahiga ako sa kama, I stared at the ceiling.
I could still hear Paul’s voice.
But this time, Calix’s quiet breathing from the next room... balanced it.
And for the first time since forever, my tears fell silently—not out of fear, but from something else.
Something closer to peace.
Or maybe, the terrifying possibility of healing.