A week later, Orochimaru, who was inspecting the latest batch of experimental samples like a proud snake at a science fair, suddenly lit up.
"Kakashi-kun, we've found the first sample with an 80% fusion rate!"
Eighty percent. The hundreds of samples before hadn't even broken past thirty.
That kind of result? Basically the ninja world equivalent of hitting the lottery while getting struck by lightning. Twice.
"Congratulations, Orochimaru-sama. Looks like we're seeing the light at the end of this ethically questionable tunnel," Kakashi said mildly, his tone just shy of a smirk.
"I'll go to Danzo to retrieve the child. He's got the most convenient access to orphans, after all."
Ah yes, "convenient." Because for Danzo, orphanages were basically Root recruitment centers with worse lighting. If weeds grew out of trauma, Danzo would have a blooming garden.
Not long after, a Root ninja walked in with a child in tow.
Short brown hair, wide black eyes, slightly confused expression—textbook Yamato. Although, at this point in time, he didn't even have a name. Following Orochimaru's uncreative streak, they referred to him as No. 33—the thirty-third Wood Style subject.
Kakashi was responsible for monitoring No. 33's vitals, which mostly involved watching him bob around in nutrient fluid like a very sad tea bag.
"Test Subject No. 33 has survived one hour post-injection with First Hokage cell culture. Breathing: stable. Heart rate: normal. Brain activity: probably wondering what kind of spa day this is."
"Test Subject No. 33 has survived 24 hours post-injection. Still stable."
...
"Test Subject No. 33 has survived 48 hours post-injection. Pupils dilated. Breathing erratic. Heart rate elevated. Subject is twitching... a lot."
Orochimaru's eyes narrowed like a snake sensing something it didn't like.
"It seems this subject won't make it either."
He sounded disappointed, like someone who just found out his favorite lab rat was lactose intolerant.
"Kakashi-kun, looks like another failure."
"Not so fast, Orochimaru-sama," Kakashi said, stepping forward.
"Number 33's fusion rate is off the charts. I think this is the critical moment—if he pushes through this, he might survive."
"I've seen too many of these to hold out false hope," Orochimaru muttered, already halfway checked out.
"With all due respect, let's not pull the plug just yet. Let him fight."
"Very well. But only until death is confirmed."
Classic Orochimaru—sentimental as a vulture.
The room emptied, and Kakashi stayed behind, watching No. 33 seize and struggle. The kid clung to life like it owed him money.
Hours passed.
And somehow, the child stabilized.
Breathing slowed. Heart rate normalized. Pupils refocused.
Kakashi let out a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding. He'd been bluffing with confidence earlier, but if No. 33 had died? It'd have been Kakashi's bad call—and possibly a trip back to Tsunade with a "Sorry, I broke the experiment."
"Anko! ANKO!"
"Here, here!"
"Tell Orochimaru-sama. He lived."
Anko ran off like her hair was on fire.
Minutes later, Orochimaru slithered in—visibly intrigued.
"How is he?"
"Out of danger."
Kakashi pressed a button. The nutrient fluid drained, and the pod door opened with a hiss.
No. 33 blinked groggily, looked around, and rasped: "Who... are you?"
"I'm Orochimaru. Your current boss."
No. 33 probably would've preferred anyone else.
"Take him for a blood test. I want data. Immediately."
"Yes, Orochimaru-sama."
Kakashi gently lifted the boy. The kid flinched, clearly still confused and terrified. Fair. His day had included injections, near-death, and now a biology quiz.
After the blood test, Kakashi examined the report.
"Orochimaru-sama, his cells show astonishing vitality. I believe this counts as a success."
"Not yet."
Of course not.
Orochimaru handed No. 33 a seed and taught him the chakra circulation method.
"Now, use your chakra on the seed."
No. 33 obeyed like his life depended on it—because, well, it might.
Green chakra flowed, and the seed rapidly sprouted into a tiny sapling.
Orochimaru licked his lips, satisfied in that deeply unsettling way of his.
"Kakashi-kun, we've done it. The experiment succeeded."
And then—
"Orochimaru."
Danzo. Because nothing ruins a celebration like a walking conspiracy theory with a cane.
"That child belongs to Root now. I will raise him personally."
Orochimaru didn't even blink.
"Danzo-sama, I can hand him over. But not yet. I need further data—he's essential to refining the fusion process."
"I'll allow scheduled returns for testing. But he must come with me now."
Classic Danzo: never met a morally grey weaponized child he didn't want to adopt.
"I disagree."
Sarutobi Hiruzen entered with the calm of a man used to cleaning up after Danzo's ambition.
"He'll join the Anbu under my command."
"Hiruzen, this is a powerful weapon—Root can best utilize it."
"He's not a weapon. He's a child. A shinobi of Konoha, who will inherit the Will of Fire."
Danzo looked like he swallowed a lemon made of regret.
"Hiruzen, only Root can ensure absolute loyalty."
"And I'm still the Hokage."
Sarutobi's tone didn't rise, but it crushed all argument like a falling Hokage Monument.
Danzo seethed.
It's always the same. He's Hokage, and I'm not. But one day… one day, I'll have the Wood Style for myself. Then we'll see who should wear the hat.
"You'll regret this."
Danzo turned and hobbled out dramatically, cape flaring like a low-budget villain.
Hiruzen exhaled and softened his voice.
"Child, I am the Hokage. Would you like to become my student?"
No. 33's eyes lit up like someone offered him a home-cooked meal and a warm blanket.
"Y-Yes, Hokage-sama!"
Watching from the side, Kakashi rolled his eyes beneath his mask. He'd seen this speech before—probably memorized it by now.
"By the way," Hiruzen continued, "You don't have a name, do you?"
Kakashi stepped forward. "How about Yamato?"
Hiruzen looked amused. "Oh?"
"Kakashi-kun was the one who insisted on continuing the experiment when I was ready to call it. He saved the child's life," Orochimaru said lazily, as if discussing the weather.
"Very well. From now on, your name shall be Yamato."
"Thank you!" Yamato beamed and looked at Kakashi with cautious gratitude.
Hiruzen nodded. "Orochimaru, I'll take him for now. If you need his cooperation, let me know."
"Oh, and… excellent work. You held out under immense pressure and produced results. I'll approve increased research funding."
He patted Orochimaru's shoulder and walked off with Yamato in tow.
Orochimaru turned to Kakashi, a rare glint of approval in his snake-like eyes.
"You saved the experiment. Tell me—what do you want as a reward?"
Kakashi folded his arms. "Nothing much. Maybe just... a crash course in how not to accidentally blow up a lab."
"Ah, scientific curiosity. I like that."
Orochimaru's smirk deepened.
"Kakashi-kun, you may just be the most promising assistant I've had."
Behind the smirk, Kakashi was already taking mental notes—and considering industrial fireproofing.