"New Year, huh."
The first Lantern Rite since arriving in Teyvat had to be celebrated, and to go to Inazuma, Beidou had to be met. The day after sending the Opéra Épiclèse contract back to Fontaine, Victor Wang set off on his return to Liyue.
It was mid-December. Though it wasn't quite time for red lanterns and new clothes yet, the air of Liyue Harbor was already thick with the flavor of the New Year. The streets bustled with more people, haggling voices grew louder, and smiles spread wider across faces—everyone except the four members of the Liyue Exploration Squad.
The moment Victor Wang stepped into Wanmin Restaurant, the atmosphere felt strange… or maybe it was the smell?
Unpleasant, off, deeply wrong. If not for the lack of killing intent, Victor Wang would have turned on his heel and fled. But when his eyes landed on a dish that looked like dark matter itself, he was immediately pinned down by one hopeful gaze, one mischievous, and two cries for salvation. There was no escape.
"Victor! You came back so fast."
Hu Tao casually crossed her arms, mischief glinting in her narrowed eyes. "He must've calculated that we just got our hands on this treasure and rushed back because he couldn't wait to try it. That's why his timing is so perfect!"
Xiangling's dark cuisine was usually the greatest threat. Chongyun had already steeled himself for noble sacrifice, but now—he suddenly heard in his head the grand background music of Rex Incognito. That glimmer of hope was blinding. He didn't say it aloud, but his gaze roared at Victor Wang: "Oh hero of the mushrooms of slimes, lead us into battle once more!"
With Chongyun as a buffer, Xingqiu visibly relaxed, though compared to Hu Tao he was still dangerously close to collapse. He glanced at the oddly shaped, oddly scented dark matter dish. Nothing needed to be said.
"So… what is this? Forgive me, but this doesn't look like something Xiangling could have invented… as food?"
"Sharp eyes!" Hu Tao gave a thumbs-up. "This is 'Meat of All'. You know the saying, gold is easy to get, but 'Meat of All' is priceless? That's this!"
Xiangling raised an eyebrow, genuinely puzzled. "Is that even a saying? I don't think that's how it goes."
"If you argue seriously with Hu Tao, you've already lost."
Xingqiu shook his head, picking up where Hu Tao left off, and explained to Victor Wang: "We don't actually know what it is. But since it came from 'All', we just named it Meat of All."
"Wait… All what? The more you talk, the less sense you're making."
"Let me explain. It started with my aunt—Shenhe. When she heard about the purpose behind our Liyue Exploration Squad, she gave us a rather unusual lead: legend has it that deep in Jueyun Karst lives a strange beast that possesses everything in the world. Anyone who encounters it and passes its trial may take something from it."
"So, you killed it?"
Feeling Victor Wang's sharp gaze swing toward her, Xiangling waved her hands frantically. "Why are you looking at me like that? Do I really look like the kind of person who would kill a creature just for ingredients?"
"You do."
"It really wasn't me! The beast's peculiarity is that when it encounters humans, it transforms into something beyond their understanding. The trial is to identify what you and it have in common. We—"
"Stop right there, let me test him!"
Hu Tao quickly clamped a hand over Xiangling's mouth. Her plum-blossom eyes spun mischievously as she turned to Victor Wang.
"For 'All,' the fewer people it meets, the broader the range it can transform into. The more people present, the harder it is for them to find a shared commonality. But all four of us went, and we still managed to obtain the Meat of All. Can you guess what our common point was?"
A beast that possessed everything in the world and transformed into something beyond the comprehension of those who saw it… which meant that any image Xiangling, Hu Tao, Xingqiu, or Chongyun could imagine would not be correct.
A phone? A computer? Or maybe some indescribable, unnamable lump?
Judging from this dish of so-called Meat of All, it was definitely the latter.
So, what common ground could it possibly share with the Liyue Exploration Squad…?
"It must be that… it's—"
"Hold it. Hint first: although 'All' possesses everything in the world, the thing you can actually obtain is limited to the scope of the common point you find."
"Hsss…"
So, this Meat of All also shared a common point with the common point they had found?
Then his earlier guess was wrong. After all, Xingqiu had said they didn't even know what it was—they'd just slapped a name on it.
Could it be meat?
No… meat was definitely within comprehension.
Victor Wang stroked his chin, pacing back and forth. The closer he got, the more his nose filled with that bizarre smell.
Strange…
"Strange… You're the Liyue Exploration Squad. 'All' is a strange beast. Its form in your eyes must've been bizarre. And this Meat of All feels bizarre too. The common point is strange, isn't it?"
"Wow, he actually guessed it in one try."
"Heh. I was going to guess 'name'—since both you and 'All' have names. But you reminded me."
"'Name' could've worked too. Unfortunately, though, 'All' has no name anymore. Shenhe said that long ago, an Adeptus took it away. We only call it 'All' because it needed some kind of title."
"Taking away a creature's name… that Adeptus was pretty bizarre too. But why would you want something like this?" Victor Wang pointed at the dark matter dish.
"Searching for 'All' itself was already one of Xingqiu's 'strange stories.' To Chongyun, it was a 'strange spirit or demon' to investigate. Me, well, I'm always chasing the strange. The only one left was Xiangling, who hadn't yet fulfilled her wish for a 'strange food.' So, we asked 'All' for 'the strangest edible ingredient in the world that humans could consume safely.' And this is what we got."
Hu Tao fanned the stink away from her nose in disgust. "We regretted it the instant it appeared. If you ask me, even if it's safe, that doesn't mean we have to eat it. We should just throw it away."
"No way! This could be a once-in-a-lifetime ingredient! If it's safe, then we can't waste food!" Xiangling threw out her arms, shielding the dark matter.
"You see? With Xiangling here, it really does have to be eaten. Victor, since you guessed the answer right, this whole dish of Meat of All is yours!"
Victor Wang swallowed hard. Around him, Xingqiu and Chongyun looked like helpless sidekicks shouting from the sidelines, Xiangling the mentor who had trained and pinned her hopes on the hero, and Hu Tao… the little trickster gremlin who lived to stir things up.
And the final boss? This dark matter. A miniature black hole. Or maybe Bronya's black stockings from Honkai: Star Rail?
It was that deep.
"…Maybe I came at the wrong time."
"No, you came at the perfect time!"
"Are you sure this stuff is really safe? Really edible?"
"'All' is very honest. You can do it!"
Xiangling's cheer was instantly echoed by the other three. Whether they genuinely didn't want to eat or just wanted to watch Victor Wang suffer, their encouragement was wholehearted.
"It's just strange, not disgusting. Who knows, maybe it's surprisingly delicious?"
"You said surprisingly, didn't you?"
"Eh? I didn't, did I? It's one of a kind, unique in the world, never to be seen again!"
"When did I become the frontline soldier against dark cuisine?"
"Probably since you ate Mushroom Slime Stew without flinching and even gave it a serious review."
"… …"
When the hero picked up a fragment of the black hole, the entire galaxy trembled. When that fragment dissolved, the light it had devoured was released, illuminating every heart in the room.
Bathed in holy radiance, Chongyun couldn't stop himself from whispering: "Hero!"
But his quiet cry was drowned out by Xiangling's urgent question: "How does it taste?!"
"Very strange. Strange texture, strange flavor, strange aftertaste. Hard to describe. But I do feel like it's really some kind of meat. Want to try it too?"
Xiangling hesitated, clutching her chopsticks. Then she steeled herself. "Fine, I'll try it!"
"Mmm… hm… So, this is what strange tastes like? So strange! Anyone else want a bite?"
"Is this really safe to eat?" Hu Tao stepped back two paces, desperate to avoid it.
"You can literally taste 'strangeness.' One of a kind, unique in the world, never to be seen again!"
Behind her, Xingqiu shoved Chongyun into the front lines.
"What are you doing?!"
"I'll trade you two demon-exorcism reports."
"…For… for the sake of the people, I'll eat it!"
One bite of dark matter, and the entire world turned strange. Chongyun's throat worked painfully, his Adam's apple bobbing. Among all the dark dishes he'd ever eaten, this one ranked first in sheer awfulness.
But when he looked at Xiangling and Victor Wang, it was obvious—they were just dragging others down with them. He couldn't let himself be the only fool.
"Mm. The taste isn't bad. Strange, yes, but incredible. Something like this, we'll probably never encounter again."
"'Not bad'?"
Victor Wang, Xiangling, and Chongyun all nodded. "Strange doesn't mean disgusting. Aren't you even a little curious?"
Suspicious but pressured, Xingqiu finally gave in. He popped a piece into his mouth—and his fair face flushed blackish-purple. Still, he forced a straight face. "The taste really isn't bad!"
"Hehe. Definitely awful, right? The Master of the Hall isn't falling for it. But if you don't mind, I'd like to bring a piece back to Zhongli and ask him what it is."