"…"
For once, Obito was left genuinely speechless by Orochimaru's words.
But after a brief moment of thought, he realized something.
…He'd actually treated his sensei rather kindly too, hadn't he?
Strange how that worked.
The realization made him feel oddly proud.
So Obito nodded, stepped forward, and casually patted Orochimaru on the shoulder.
"You know what, PedoMaru…" he said thoughtfully.
"That actually makes sense. And honestly? That's pretty kind of you."
A grin tugged at his lips.
"I respect that."
Then he added calmly:
"Do whatever you want but..."
Orochimaru's eyes flickered, attentive.
"However," Obito continued, waving a hand lazily,
"the Fourth Kazekage is mine."
He tilted his head slightly, smile curling with meaning.
"Because there's someone on my side who's wanted to send him off for a long time too."
Orochimaru's grin turned sharp and serpentine.
"Well, as long as I get his identity," he replied smoothly,
"it doesn't matter to me who performs the task."
"If I don't have to dirty my own hands," he added, eyes gleaming,
"even better."
"That's it, then."
Obito straightened and turned, already preparing to leave.
"Oh—one more thing."
He paused.
"You still need to keep improving Edo Tensei. The current accuracy isn't good enough."
Orochimaru nodded slowly.
"Yes… I see."
He had felt the same way for a while now.
The jutsu wasn't complete yet.
Not even close.
The space behind Obito twisted.
The familiar spiral of Kamui bloomed behind him, swallowing his figure piece by piece.
Orochimaru watched the entire scene with measured fascination, his expression composed as he licked his lips.
By the time Obito's masked face was the last thing visible, Orochimaru finally spoke.
"…Truly," he muttered lazily,
"a man incapable of understanding romance."
The vortex snapped shut.
Obito was gone.
The laboratory fell quiet once more—filled only with the soft bubbling liquid, and distant, unpleasant squelching noises.
Orochimaru exhaled.
A long, weary sigh.
He rubbed his temples, golden eyes half-lidded as if mourning the death of whatever dramatic momentum he'd been hoping to maintain.
"Telling me to 'keep improving' Edo Tensei so casually…" he murmured.
"As if rewriting the laws of life and death were a simple matter of refinement."
He shook his head slowly and turned back toward his work tables.
"Well then…"
The moment he took a step...
"P-PLEASE—!!"
A hoarse, cracked voice screeched from one of the glass tubes.
"STOP—!! DON'T CUT—!! I SWEAR IT MOVED—THAT WAS NOT IMAGINATION—I'M NOT CRAZY—!!"
Orochimaru paused.
Slowly turned.
Inside one of the containment tubes, a half-formed body floated awkwardly in pale green liquid. Its limbs were… uneven.
One arm was clearly twice as long as the other, and something that might have been a rib cage was growing outward like an enthusiastic mistake.
The subject slammed its malformed palm against the glass.
"IT HURTS!! IT HURTS DIFFERENT NOW!!"
Another finger jabbed weakly at Orochimaru.
"YOU SAID IT WAS A 'MINOR ADJUSTMENT'—!!"
Orochimaru's golden eyes narrowed with interest as his gaze traced the man's pointed finger. A moment later, he tilted his head, expression thoughtful.
"…I did?"
"Yes!! YES YOU DID—!!" the subject wailed.
"AND THEN MY SPINE TURNED INSIDE OUT—!!"
Orochimaru stared at it for a moment.
Then calmly reached for a clipboard.
"Hmm…" he muttered, scanning the text.
"Ah. Subject Thirty-Nine."
He tapped the glass thoughtfully.
"Your pain tolerance should have increased by at least thirty percent."
"THEN WHY DO I FEEL EVERYTHING—?!"
"Fascinating," Orochimaru replied, genuinely intrigued.
"So the nervous system adapted too well."
The subject's eyes bulged.
"TOO WELL—?! YOU GAVE ME BONE EYELASHES—!!"
Orochimaru hummed, scribbling notes.
"Bone eyelashes… bone density migration… unintended cosmetic side effects…"
He nodded slowly.
"Noted."
"YOU'RE NOT EVEN LISTENING—!!" the subject screamed.
"I'LL DO ANYTHING!! I'LL BETRAY MY VILLAGE!! I KNOW TONS OF DIRTY SECRETS!! I'LL CLEAN—I'LL OBEY—JUST PLEASE!!"
Orochimaru looked up.
"Oh?" he said lightly.
"Do you cook?"
"…W-WHAT?"
"Your offer was vague," Orochimaru replied reasonably.
The subject hesitated.
"…I can… boil eggs?"
Orochimaru exhaled and shook his head, clearly unimpressed.
"So many useless skills."
He snapped his fingers.
The seals flared.
The liquid level rose.
"WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT—!!"
The subject flailed wildly as the paralysis seals activated.
"NO MORE ARMS—!! I'M ALREADY USING THREE!!"
Orochimaru turned back to his workbench calmly.
"Let's reattempt the summoning matrix," he muttered.
"The alignment was off by less than a degree… and yet the results were so disappointing."
Behind him...
"MOM—!!"
"I MISS MY MOM—!!"
"I'LL TURN NICE—!!"
Orochimaru didn't even flinch.
He adjusted the chakra input, pen scratching neatly across parchment.
"Yes, yes," he said absentmindedly.
"Scream louder. It helps me focus."
The laboratory echoed with unholy begging.
And somewhere far away...
--
Within the forests of the Land of Fire.
Leaves rustled softly underfoot as four figures moved swiftly between the trees, maintaining clean formation without a word wasted.
This wasn't their first mission together.
It showed.
Kurenai Yuhi moved at the front, eyes sharp, chakra senses open, her presence calm but vigilant.
Behind her...
Kiba Inuzuka bounded casually from branch to branch, Akamaru perched on his head, nose constantly twitching.
Shino Aburame followed in silence, hands tucked into his coat, insects calmly patrolling the ground and canopy ahead.
And their last teammate… a new presence, replacing Hinata as the team's third member.
Airi.
Ari Tachibana.
Average height, soft brown hair tied neatly, Leaf forehead protector polished to an unnecessary shine. Her steps were precise—maybe a little too precise—as if she were trying very hard to leave a good impression.
"…Man, this mission's boring as hell. There's zero action," Kiba muttered.
Akamaru barked softly in agreement.
"Quiet missions statistically precede either boredom or ambush," Shino said evenly.
"…Why do you say things like that?" Kiba groaned, his face twisting into something vaguely canine.
Airi flinched slightly, then felt a flicker of irritation simmer up as her thoughts drifted. What a childish boy… thinking just like the dog he is.
If it were Shikamaru instead…
The thought alone made warmth creep up her cheeks. Compared to this loud, childish dog, that boy was far more calm—far more mature.
"U-Um—! Kurenai-sensei?" she asked, clearly nervous. "This mission is supposed to involve teaming up with another team, right?"
Kurenai glanced back briefly.
"Yes. Why?"
"It's nothing—I just wanted to ask which team we'll be teaming up with," Airi said, quietly hoping in her heart that it would be Team 10… the team Shikamaru was on.
Kurenai gave her a look, raising an eyebrow slightly as a playful smile tugged at her lips.
There was a very familiar scent in the air—young, obvious, and unmistakable.
Ah… the smell of first love, she thought quietly.
Kurenai already knew the answer her student was hoping to hear. She'd spent more than enough time with them to notice these little things—and she knew exactly who this girl had on her mind.
Just as Kurenai was about to speak, she paused. Then she smiled instead.
"Well…" she said lightly,
"…it seems I don't need to say it anymore."
She gestured ahead, where Asuma was approaching in the distance—Team 10 walking beside him.
Not just Airi—everyone turned their heads, curiosity piqued.
Airi's face instantly brightened when she spotted Shikamaru. Their eyes met for a brief moment—and, right on cue, he let out a tired sigh.
"What a drag…"
Choji grinned and gave him a friendly punch on the shoulder, while Ino shot Shikamaru a look that clearly said How did you even manage to pull her?
"…Tch," Shikamaru muttered under his breath. "Why do things always line up like this…"
Airi straightened instantly, posture snapping to attention like she'd just been promoted on the spot.
She tried to look casual.
She failed spectacularly.
"H-Hi, Shikamaru-kun!" she said a little too loudly, giving a quick bow that almost knocked her forward.
Shikamaru was drowning in secondhand embarrassment. There hadn't been a single moment so far where he hadn't wanted to give up on this mission entirely.
"…Oh. Uh. You too."
That was it.
His entire contribution.
Kiba clicked his tongue with a snort, his familiar cocky look returning.
"Oh damn," he whispered to Shino. "Looks like she's got a thing for Shikamaru."
Shino adjusted his glasses.
"Affection levels detected: elevated. Heart rate: unstable. Decision-making capability: compromised."
"STOP SAYING IT LIKE THAT," Airi snapped, mortified.
Asuma let out an amused chuckle and took a drag from his cigarette.
"Looks like you've got just as much of a handful as I do, Kurenai," he said with a smile—one he clearly thought looked handsome. "Guess this mission just got more lively."
Kurenai crossed her arms, a faint smile touching her lips.
"Seems so."
Ino stepped forward, eyes narrowing as she sized Airi up from head to toe.
"…So," she said slowly, smirk forming. "You're the reason Shikamaru's been sighing even more lately."
"I-I am not!!" Airi protested immediately.
"I just—!"
Shikamaru pinched the bridge of his nose.
"…Ino. Don't."
Choji, chewing thoughtfully, leaned over.
"She seems nice. You think she brings snacks too?"
Airi froze for a moment, a sudden thought flashing through her mind.
Is this the legendary "best-friend" wall I have to climb if I want to be with Shikamaru?
"…I can," she said weakly.
…Even if it was a lie—next time, she'd make sure to bring snacks with her.
Choji's eyes lit up, and he gave Shikamaru a cheerful thumbs-up.
"She's great."
Shikamaru felt betrayal pierce his soul.
Asuma clapped his hands together, breaking the moment before it completely derailed.
"Alright, alright. Enough teasing," he said. "Since we're completing this mission together, let's focus and move out."
His tone relaxed, but his eyes sharpened slightly.
"A joint mission means more moving parts—and that also means more danger. Watch each other's backs, don't act on impulse, and communicate. If something feels off, speak up."
He took a drag from his cigarette and exhaled slowly.
"Do that, and everyone comes home in one piece."
Shikamaru groaned softly.
"…What a drag."
Airi, meanwhile, looked like she'd just won the lottery.
"Yes, sensei!" she said instantly, standing straighter than ever.
The combined group moved out, formations naturally adjusting.
Despite himself, Shikamaru glanced sideways.
Airi was walking two steps behind him now, trying very hard not to stare.
"…You don't need to do that," he said casually, eyes forward.
"Huh?" she squeaked.
"Walk normally. You're gonna trip."
She nodded so fast it was a miracle her neck survived.
"Y-Yes!"
Shikamaru sighed again, tired as ever. Strangely enough, he didn't find her all that annoying.
With two sensei on the mission, there really shouldn't be any problems. No need to be overly serious...this felt like a good chance to take things a little easy, he thought inwardly.
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