Time: 5:00 in the morning.
Either too early or too late, at such hours you yourself don't understand where you are, at the end of yesterday or the beginning of today.
The rain that made noise and rumbled all night finally tired, leaving behind only stubborn drops, as if forgotten in farewell. The sun, as before, didn't come. And won't come, not on such a day. Morning turned out gray again, dim. Wind rustled the leaves, as if trying to wake someone. Or maybe the opposite.
The landscape was so dreary it created a feeling as if it was painted by an artist who had only one color left in his palette, gray. He smeared it on the canvas without inspiration, without idea, simply because he didn't know what else to do.
Voting results.
Ah yes. Voting. A beautiful form of democratic betrayal.
I was thrown out. Cold-bloodedly, unanimously, as if I were something... superfluous. Like dust that got in the eyes. Like crumbs on a tablecloth that are simply brushed into the trash.
The killer could be anyone. Yahweh, sure. Hov, no problem. Tiamut, right now if you want. The servants, why not. Kamiki... this one especially. And for Aragi the main suspect was the witch. Of course, for everyone there's their own witch.
But despite this, despite that each could be guilty, they decided: Enua.
How convenient. Expand the circle of suspects?Why, it's much simpler to fixate on the one who can resist least of all.
Me.
Hello, my name is Scapegoat, pleased to meet you.
Although, perhaps, this couldn't be avoided.
We all came here with different goals, different fates, different traumas. What united us? The game? The lie? Or that in this place everyone had something to lose?
We didn't argue for truth, we fought for the possibility to be heard. But words mean nothing if your voice is quieter than a gunshot.
Strength, that's the only currency in this coordinate system. Right is the one who has a way to impose their truth.
So said the one to whom I entrusted half the sky.
Time: 5:30.
I'm still standing in the rain, or rather, in its echo. Cold clings to my skin, water runs down my face as if I'm crying without tears. But I have nothing to cry with, everything already dried up inside.
The sun? No. The sky is the same foggy mess. I understood, there won't be a good day. There are no good days at all if you weren't among them to begin with.
I'm still here, near the mansion. Like a discarded thing that remained lying near the trash bin.
Go into the forest? Why? I'm not an animal, although... am I?
No food. No water. They seemingly didn't even try to leave me a chance, let him die outside the window, at least not before our eyes.
The wind didn't die down. The rain didn't leave, neither did I.
Clothes stuck to my body. Cold grinds my bones, and I think, can I get sick? Can I die from cold? From hunger? From loneliness?
What kind of god am I now if I feel like a human?
We were all deprived of our powers when we arrived on the island. She wanted it so, the witch. She wanted us to suffer equally.
Time: 6:00
Made a decision. I'll go into the forest.
If I don't find food, then perhaps I'll find at least something that will dull the feeling of humiliation.
Walked 300 meters from the mansion. Maybe more. It's now hidden by trees, as if the island itself is trying to forget my existence.
Every bush, every trunk, I studied them like cursed scrolls. But nothing, no berries, no mushrooms. Nothing that could say: "you're still needed." If I were my former self, for such humiliation I would have killed myself without hesitation.
How much time has passed? How much more will pass? I've become like a lost animal that doesn't know where to go. Where is my herd if I'm a god?
The words spoken in my defense convinced no one. Because... everyone wanted to blame me. And if so, then any logic is superfluous.
You weren't witnesses. You didn't see. You didn't know. You didn't feel!
I'm the only one who saw the truth. My eyes are pure. My heart doesn't tremble. My mind is clear.
But you... You chose a convenient enemy.
I hate.
I hate.
I hate.
I sat under a tree, leaned my back. Closed my eyes and laughed.
"Ah... hah..."
"Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha..."
"Akh-hah-hah-ghah-hah... ha-ha... hah-kha-hah..."
Let laughter be armor.
Let laughter be my last strength.
Don't show pain.
Don't surrender.
Don't let them stand above you, even if you're sitting on the ground.
Such is the path, such is my choice. Such is the fate of those who once received power to decide others' lives.
And if this fate is unjust... I refuse to accept it.
Time: 6:30