WHAT. THE. HELL.
I wasn't planning to start drama today, I swear. Like, I woke up with good vibes. Clear skin, sunny skies, no back acne. Pero you know when your gut is telling you, "Girl, may nililihim sayo yung jowa mo," and your gut has never been wrong? Yeah. That was me. This morning.
Because guess what.
When i woke up… he was still here.
As in, Cairo, in all his messy hair, shirtless, hugging-his-pillow-like-a-cinnamon-roll glory… he was in bed. Like, snoring. Sleep pa rin.
So i was like, Wait lang. Diba may training ka dapat? Sinabi mo pa nga na we'll only see each other at night kasi there's a big race coming soon?
So bakit wala ka sa training?
Bakit you still here?
And why parang wala kang plans na umalis??
SUSPICIOUS. VERY VERY SUSPICIOUS.
So me, being the mature, calm, trusting girlfriend that i am… nagpanic ako agad.
Like, legit. I jumped out of bed, tiptoed to my phone like i was in a spy movie, and checked the time.
8:42 AM.
HELLO? Hindi ba ang call time mo for training is, like, 7 AM?! Unless nagbago ang racing schedule into "Netflix and chill sa kama ni Elara" training module??
No. No. No.
I refuse.
I REFUSE TO BE BLINDSIDED.
I've watched too many teleseryes to not know the signs. Pag nagsabi ng excuse, tapos nahuli mong nagsisinungaling pala, that's step one to pagtataksil. And alam ko na. I feel it in my pores.
So i did what any emotionally unstable starlet would do: I stormed out. Like, hindi pa rin siya gising, but i full-on dramatic exited the unit, only to… you know, enter my own unit.
Katabi lang naman. Di ko alam ba't kailangan ko pa magdrama pero syempre kailangan may pa-walkout.
Tapos sakto, I got a message.
[AGENCY]: You have an audition at 11AM. Role: Ex-Girlfriend of Male Lead. Location: Viva Studio, Lot 9.
Oh my gosh.
THIS IS A SIGN.
I am literally auditioning for an ex-girlfriend role while questioning if i'm about to become one. The universe is poetic. Tragic. A little bit passive-aggressive, not gonna lie.
So i took the fastest shower of my life. Di ako nag-moisturize. That's how intense it was.
And then i wore all black. Kasi siyempre, war mode. At ang black ay slimming, very revenge energy.
Then i marched back to Cairo's unit.
Knock. Knock.
"Open up!" I screamed, like i was the police. "I know you're hiding something!"
He opened the door, eyes still puffy, and said in the softest voice: "Baby? What's happening?"
That "baby" triggered me.
"Oh, don't baby me!" I snapped, pushing past him. "Where were you supposed to be this morning, huh? Training daw? Training my ass! Why are you still here?! Who is she?! WHO IS SHE, CAIRO?!"
He blinked, still in boxers and a sleepy shirt. "Elara… I don't understand what's going on."
I pointed an accusing finger right at his face. "You said you had no time for me kasi may training ka na! But here you are, SLEEPING LIKE A PRINCE, habang ako, nagdududa na iniiputan mo na ako sa ulo!"
"Iniiputan sa—wait, what?!"
"Don't play dumb with me!" I screamed again, now dramatically clutching my chest. "I'm an actress. I feel things deeply and right now? I feel betrayed."
"Wait—baby. Wala akong ibang babae. I didn't go to training today kasi it's our rest day. I told you this."
"You did NOT!"
"I did, Elara. Last night. But you fell asleep while i was talking."
…
Well.
Okay. So maybe there was a slight chance i did fall asleep while he was talking. But like… was that my fault? His chest is warm! And comforting! Like a heated blanket with abs!
Still. I was on a roll.
"Kung wala kang girl, then why didn't you wake me up and say goodbye?!" I threw another emotional punch.
"I was going to," he said, eyes watering now. "But you looked so peaceful… I didn't wanna wake you."
And that's when i saw it.
Oh my gosh.
He was tearing up.
My boyfriend was crying.
"Wait… are you crying?" I gasped.
He nodded, wiping his eyes. "Because i thought you trusted me."
WAAAAH. That was it. Guilt punched me in the face. I ran to him like i was in an indie film
.
"OMG no no no i do ido i just—ugh!" I kissed him, desperately, like i was apologizing with my lips. "I love you, okay?! I'm just—AHH! I have an audition and i needed to be emotional and i guess i borrowed real emotions and used it for acting purposes and now i hurt you—OH MY GOSH I'M A MONSTER!"
"You're not a monster," he mumbled, hugging me tight. "You're just dramatic."
"Thank you," I whispered. "That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me."
So he drove me to the audition.
We were still holding hands sa car while i practiced my line:
"You never really loved me. You just loved the attention i gave you."
Boom. Oscar worthy. Sana.
And then we got to the studio.
I was ready.
Like, full-on fierce.
Hair in loose waves, eyeliner sharp enough to slice egos, and a pout that said "Don't mess with me, I've been gaslit before."
The moment we stepped inside the studio, I felt it. That... shift.
You know when you're the one supposed to shine, but somehow the universe is like, "LOL, not today, gurl." THAT.
"Name?" the assistant asked.
"Elara Celestine Zulueta. For the role of—"
"Ex-girlfriend, yes. You're next."
I tossed my hair and gave them my best sweet-but-hot smile, the one i practiced in front of my vanity mirror with Beyoncé's 'Irreplaceable' playing in the background and of course to Cairo.
And then came the mistake of my life.
Cairo sat beside me. IN FULL VIEW. In his black hoodie, messy hair, and that stupid pouty look he gets when he's sleepy but supportive.
The director looked up.
His eyes LINGERED.
"Oh?" the casting head whispered to someone beside him. "Who's that?"
I felt it in my bones. The switch. The danger. The betrayal.
So i did what any normal, mentally stable girlfriend would do—I panicked and started slowly blocking Cairo's face with my handbag.
Like, gently. Chill lang. As in, "Oops my tote just accidentally covered your jawline and God-tier cheekbones, sorry love."
"Ma'am, can you move your bag?" the assistant said.
"No," I said sweetly, smiling like a Disney villain in a sequined dress. "I'm emotionally attached to it."
Cairo leaned toward me. "Babe, what are you doing?"
"I'm preserving your mystery. Let them wonder."
He blinked. "Why do i feel like i'm being kidnapped?"
Then—BOOM. Disaster.
"Excuse me?" the director called. "You. Sir. With the sleepy eyes. Do you act?"
Cairo looked like a confused rice cooker.
"Me?"
"No, the other man-shaped object sitting beside the lady auditioning for a role. YES YOU."
I wanted to cry or throw my tote bag at someone. Preferably the director. Or Cairo. Or both.
"He's not here for the audition," I said quickly. "He's just my... water bottle carrier. Emotional support hoodie."
But the producers were already whispering and pointing and nodding like they discovered the next Piolo Pascual who happens to know how to fix a sink.
They called me in to read lines, and I swear—I was killing it. Like, tears in my eyes, voice trembling, I even channeled every time my Starbucks order got messed up just to bring real pain into my performance.
Then i heard it.
"Let's get him to read the male lead."
WHAT.
I turned my head. "Wait, wait, wait. Are you talking about Cairo? MY boyfriend? That's my boyfriend. He didn't even AUDITION."
"Exactly," the director said with this dreamy, artsy look in his eyes. "That's the energy we need. Natural. Raw. Real."
He said raw like he was ordering sushi.
And guess what? They gave Cairo lines. And Cairo, being the sensitive prince that he is, read them like he was reciting his grocery list with feelings.
Afterwards, they politely told me, "We're looking for a different flavor for the ex-girlfriend. Something... less spicy."
I got rejected.
My boyfriend got recruited.
I was the one who woke up early. I was the one who put on concealer and sprayed perfume on my ankles for extra luck. AND THIS IS WHAT I GET?
"Come on," Cairo said outside, grabbing my hand. "Let's eat. My treat."
"Do they cast people for being tall now? Is that it?" I muttered as we walked. "Do i need to carry a wrench next time so i look relatable?"
"You were amazing," he said gently.
"Whatever," I snapped. "You're sleeping on the couch tonight."
We ended up in this cozy Korean restaurant with those little side dishes and hotpot and this one banchan that looked like dried seaweeds but tasted like betrayal.
And just when i thought the day couldn't get any worse—she appeared.
Nadine.
Of course.
Wearing this dainty little sundress like she was in a commercial for dishwashing soap and false innocence.
"Oh my gosh, Elara? Cairo? Small world!" she said, sliding into the seat beside me without even waiting for an invite. Rude.
Cairo blinked, startled. "Hey Nadine, long time."
My jaw clenched. I could feel my eyeliner twitch.
"Oh, we were just eating," I said, fake laughing. "Just the two of us. Because we're dating. You know? Exclusively."
"I'm so glad you guys are good again," she said, smiling like a puppy with an evil MBA. Then she started helping herself to kimchi.
And that's when i lost it.
Every time she picked something up with her chopsticks, I'd reach out and take it. Fast. Without shame.
She got japchae? I snatched it.
She took pork belly? Gone.
She even tried to grab gochujang sauce and i beat her to it like a ninja in heels.
"Elara," Cairo said slowly, like he was talking to a toddler holding a loaded fork. "Are you... okay?"
"Of course," I said, smiling like a sociopath. "Just bonding. Sharing is caring. Right Nadine?"
Nadine, to her credit, just kept smiling. Probably used to dealing with psychopaths.
Cairo reached over and touched my hand. "Babe. You don't have to be jealous."
My soul hiccuped.
"I'm not jealous," I said, too quickly. "I'm territorial. It's different."
He laughed, that soft laugh that made my spine curl into a croissant. "You're the only one I want to eat Korean BBQ with."
"And?" I asked.
"And yell at me at auditions. And cover my face with your tote bag. And steal side dishes just to prove a point."
I dramatically wiped a tear. "I love when you say romantic things like that."
Nadine, thank God, finally stood up. "Well, I gotta go. Audition in twenty."
"Break a leg," I muttered.
Or two.
Once she left, Cairo leaned over and kissed my forehead.
"You're the main character, okay? Always."
I grinned, stuffing rice into my mouth. "Obviously. But like... let's not go to auditions together anymore."