As anyone will tell you, when someone brought meat into a goblin village, that was a big deal.
Not just because of the fact that the goblins rarely ate such people, but also because of the fact that this time, the meat in question was not bought with bloody coins.
Goglina looked at Grog, who was in the process of eating another raw pig leg.
"Honey, we've spoken about this before," She didn't want to undermine his authority before the entire tribe, but she also didn't want to smell his farts at night. "Just let me cook it."
Grog sighed.
"Sorry, force of habit," the goblin chief said as he looked at Nikola, who was looking at the goblins as they carved.
"And you say that there was a furniture maker who didn't want our wares?" Grog asked as he got more comfortable on his bone chair.
"Well, it will take time," Nikola said, as he kept looking at the carving goblins. "How do you do it? Carve so well? Is it by magic?"
Grog smiled. He loved telling the outsiders that goblins too could do something good.
"Well, when our children become old enough to hold a knife, we give them one," the goblin chief said. "And when they butcher their first pig, we make them carve the bones. As a sort of thank you to Mother Nature that she let a pig farmer get lost on his way to Mirstone and provided us with pigs!"
"It is a rite of passage, Niki," Goglina said as she stirred her stew. "An old goblin ritual."
"Do you need live pigs for this ritual, then? I mean, do you need me to buy you some?" Nikola really didn't like his chances of trying to convince everyone that the goblins had turned a new leaf if the green humanoids continued to steal pigs from farmers who couldn't be bothered to buy a map.
"Yes, we need five." Goglina took out a list with things she needed. "And be a dear and buy me all of these, ok? My hair feels like straw!"
Nikola nodded. Still, he couldn't see the problem. Goglina looked just like any other goblin.
"And what sort of products do you normally use?" Nikola kept the small talk going. Not wanting to insult the alpha pair with silence.
"Human bone marrow," Goglina told him without missing a beat. "It is supposed to be good for the hair; it is sort of fat, you know? It hydrates. But it doesn't help much."
Nikola smiled nervously.
Not wanting his bone marrow to be used for hygiene purposes.
"Enough of that, Goglina! You are scaring the human!" Grog said as he took some beef jerky and began to eat. "Talk with me in numbers, human. How did it really go? Did you turn all the bones into meat?"
Nikola nodded.
"So far, we have the whole shopping bag full of meat," which was something Nikola was proud of. Even though he had to visit the butcher's shop in Big Capybara to get the extra meat.
Mirstone had limits on how much one could buy. After all, there had to be enough for everyone.
"And there is a credit in my name for another 5,000 golden coins, which I have registered in the bank. Here's the bank account number. Feel free to take out gold from there when you wish!"
Nikola handed a small golden card to Grog. The goblin nodded, placing it by his throne.
"Also, I asked around. There is some farmable land for sale not too far from here. It comes with some animals. If you invest in night school, you can farm it and raise your own meat."
Which was all well and good, the chief thought, but that didn't get rid of the main problem.
"And will we be allowed inside Big Capybara to attend the night school?"
Nikola bowed his head. He had no idea whether that was going to be possible or not.
"I will speak with the headmaster tomorrow," the brunette told him. "And try to pay for your classes. I go to night school as well. The teachers are great!"
Goglina nodded her approval. Nikola was doing everything quickly.
He was becoming so valuable that if Goglina ever needed to cook him, then the only day of the year good enough would be hers and Grog's anniversary.
Not that she told the human that.
Some things were best kept hidden. Least the human took his stuff and moved behind town walls.
Instead of the pickled white fence surrounding Big Capybara, the town with the capybara fountain in the center.
"And there is one more thing," Nikola said, as he took out the notes he had taken in the library. "There is a Lich who cursed a librarian into becoming a goblin. The librarian was eaten by goblins, who believed that the man was a human but were hungry."
Nikola had no idea why he was so calm, speaking about such things.
It was not like he was cold towards the fate of the poor librarian. But there was something about the goblins that was rubbing off on him.
Something primal. Something uncaring.
Something that told him that he was going to become one of them soon.
"And we agreed to get rid of the Lich. You know, so that there could be a new librarian in Mirstone."
"Why?" Grog asked, ever the pragmatic type. "If the ghost is not attacking just get your books from the library, and that would be that!"
"Because," Nikola began, as he looked Grog in the eyes. "It is a librarian today, but who would it be tomorrow? And why did I have to pay 10 gold coins from your bank account," Nikola wanted to stress that part. Knowing that the goblin was either petty or naive, depending on whom you asked. "To get my rune crafting books?"
Goglina waved her ladle at him.
"You better supply us with runes soon! Or so help you! Ten gold coins is 100 sausages!"
Nikola had no idea if that was the truth, for the goblins couldn't even go to town by themselves.
But he didn't want to argue.
After all, he might not make 100 sausages, but he was still in danger of becoming sausages.
And that was all that mattered.