Touka's POV
The door chimed closed behind Sota, and for a moment, nobody moved.
"Shit," Koma said.
That broke the spell. I slumped against the counter, legs suddenly useless. "He knows."
"Yeah, that was pretty obvious when he said 'ghoul establishment.'" Koma ran a hand through his hair. "How the hell did he—"
"Does it matter?" My voice came out sharper than intended. "He knows. And he's actually an investigator. We're fucked."
An investigator. Like the ones who... I pushed the thought away, but it lingered like smoke.
"Language, Touka-chan," Mr. Yoshimura said mildly, but his eyes were serious as he emerged from the back.
"Sorry, Manager. We're professionally fucked."
Irimi moved to the windows, peering out carefully. "Though there are no investigators gathering outside. No vehicles either."
"Yet," I added, but something twisted in my chest. He'd lied to me. All those afternoons, all those gentle smiles, and he'd been... what? Investigating us? Playing with me?
"He said he'd talk to you later, Touka-chan." Irimi continued, turning back. "That's... not really standard protocol, don't you think?."
"How would you know?" But even as I said it, I remembered his face before he left. The betrayal there broke my heart. Like I'd lied to him...
Which I had.
"To do his job." I repeated his words, anger and fear tangling in my throat. "He meant going after Rize."
" 'Government statistics' ," Koma muttered. "Should've known that was bullshit. No government worker gets that fit from pushing pencils."
"He's going after her alone, isn't he?" The words came out before I could stop them. "That idiot is going to get himself killed."
Why did I even care? He was a white dove from CCG. They were all the same—hunters, killers, the kind of murderers who took parents from children and called it justice.
But I kept remembering his face when he'd figured it out. He wasn't filled with disgust or hatred. He just... looked hurt.
"We should run," Irimi suggested without much conviction. "Close up Anteiku, and maybe scatter?"
"And go where?" I laughed, but it sounded broken. "This is our home. Our life. I'm not letting some... Some...!!!—" Some investigator. Some human. Some boy who took my hand and my first. "I'm not running."
(A/N: First Kiss* Please, all of you dear perverted readers to go out xd)
"Touka-chan. He's not going to call for backup," Yoshimura commented thoughtfully. "Otherwise he wouldn't have left like that and mention that he'd come back."
"Then what's he doing?"
"Being human, I guess." Yoshimura said simply, closing his eyes. "Making emotional choices despite what he's been taught to do."
"Don't." The word ripped out of me. "Don't make excuses for him. He lied to us. To me. He pretended to be normal, pretended to care—"
"Did he really though?" Yoshimura asked gently. "Or did he simply not tell you his job, just as you didn't tell him your nature?"
"That's different!"
"Is it?"
I wanted to say yes. Wanted to paint him as the villain here. But I kept remembering how he'd taught me to draw, always being patient and kind to me. How he'd kissed me at the station. How he'd said he wanted to be part of my life.
Had any of that been fake?
My phone buzzed as I received a text from Sota: Don't go anywhere. We need to talk when I get back.
"When he gets back..." I read aloud, voice hollow. "Not if he gets back."
"He's confident," Yoshimura mused. "That's good."
"How is that good? Rize will—"
"Touka-chan." His voice was firm but kind. "All investigators always set a ranking for ghouls. Do you think he'd face her without being prepared? Without knowing he couldn't handle it?"
"But—"
"He should know her danger level, knowing he's going after a dangerous target. That speaks for itself." Yoshimura touched my shoulder. "You need to trust that he knows his own strength."
"Trust." The word tasted like ash. "I trusted him and he—"
"And he trusted you too, while you never wanted to tell him what you were either," Irimi pointed out softly. "We all keep secrets, Touka-chan."
"I was protecting him!"
"And maybe he thought he was protecting you by not revealing his job."
I wanted to scream. To break things. To run after Sota and shake him until he explained why he'd made me care about him when he was everything I should hate.
Investigator. CCG. The people who'd taken my mom and my father. Who'd taken everything from me.
But he was also the boy who got excited about that bizarre Byzantine architecture. Who brought me lemon tarts despite not knowing I couldn't eat them. Who looked at me like I was worth something more valuable I'd admit.
"... This is killing me," I admitted quietly.
"I know." Yoshimura's voice was understanding. "Love, fear and anger all tangled together. It's the most human thing in the world."
"I'm not human."
"Maybe not. But your feelings are."
I stared at my phone, at that simple message. We need to talk. Like it was that easy. Like we could just have a conversation about him being CCG and me being a ghoul and somehow make it okay.
"What if he can't accept it?" I whispered. "What if he looks at me and only sees a monster?"
"What if you look at him and only see an investigator?" Yoshimura countered gently.
I did see an investigator. But I also saw Sota, who counted his pencils in sets and smiled when I got a drawing right and trusted me with his nightmares about Ward 24.
"I hate this!" I said fiercely as tears started falling out involuntarily. "I hate that I'm worried about him. I hate that I'm angry at him. I hate that I still—"
"Still love him?" Koma suggested.
"Shut up...!"
"We'll wait with you, Touka-chan." Irimi said, settling beside me. "Whatever happens, you're not alone."
I nodded, not trusting my voice. Because what was there to say? That I was terrified Rize would kill him? That I was terrified he'd come back? That I didn't know which would hurt more—losing him to death or losing him to the truth?
All I could do was wait. And hate myself for caring about him.
And hate him a little too, for making me care so much in the first place.
Sota's POV
Ward 13 at night looked like every other ward—neon signs, crowds thinning as evening deepened, the ordinary face Tokyo wore to hide its monsters.
I'd been running for two hours, checking every fancy restaurant I could find. Each maître d' gave me the same look—disdain for my disheveled appearance and firm denial of any Kamishiro reservation.
"Try Le Ciel Bleu," one suggested after I'd pressed. "Very exclusive. The kind of place a woman might take someone to impress them."
But Le Ciel Bleu had no reservation either. Nor did Lumière, Takumi, or a dozen other establishments that charged more for water than most people spent on entire meals.
Rain started as I exited the fifteenth restaurant. Cold drops that quickly became a downpour, soaking through my coat in minutes. I didn't care. Somewhere in this ward, Kaneki was walking into a trap.
My phone was useless—his number still going straight to voicemail. Either Rize had convinced him to turn it off, or...
No. I'd find them. I had to.
"Fancy restaurant," I muttered, jogging through puddles. "Where would a ghoul take a date?"
But that was the problem. I was thinking like a human. Rize wasn't taking him somewhere public and bright. She was taking him somewhere...
Romantic. The word Kaneki had used. Not fancy—romantic.
I changed tactics, looking for smaller places. Cozy cafes, hidden bistros, the kind of romantic spots tucked away from main streets. But there were too many, and time was running out.
By ten PM, I'd covered what felt like half the ward. My clothes were soaked, my phone water-damaged, and hope was running thin.
"Where are you Kaneki?" I whispered to the rain-washed streets.
A couple hurried past, the woman laughing at something the man said. Normal people on a normal date, unaware that somewhere nearby, a monster was preparing to feed.
By eleven PM I'd realized I didn't find them. The restaurants were closing already, with the streets emptying. I'd failed saving my new friend.
I found myself in a small park, collapsing on a bench despite the rain. Kaneki was probably dead by now. Rize had taken him somewhere I couldn't find, couldn't save him from.
"I'm sorry," I said to the empty park. "I'm so sorry."
The rain eventually stopped, leaving me shivering and defeated. I should go back. Face Touka. Have the conversation that would end everything between us.
But I couldn't gather the strength for it honestly, whenever the thought popped up, a million excuses came about.
I wandered instead, with no destination in mind. I just walked through Ward 13's quiet streets, replaying every moment I should have known sooner. I should have recognized the danger immediately that Touka was amiss with her reaction against Rize. I should have insisted Kaneki cancelled when he was at the shop. Should have—
The emergency vehicles screamed past, lights painting the wet streets red and blue. I followed without really thinking it through, drawn by some instinct I didn't know I had.
A construction site. Police tape already going up. Paramedics working frantically over two figures on stretchers.
"What happened?" I asked a gathered onlooker.
"Steel beams fell," the woman said, eyes wide. "Just collapsed out of nowhere. Two people underneath—students, they think. Such a tragedy."
My blood froze. I pushed closer, trying to see through the crowd.
"—young man, black hair—" "—woman too, purple hair—" "—so much blood—"
"Are they alive?" I asked desperately.
"Barely," someone answered. "They're taking them to Kanou General Hospital. The boy might make it, but the woman..." They shook their head.
Kaneki. A heavy relief hit me, It had to be him. Steel beams—random accident or rather a miracle, I didn't care. He was alive.
The hospital was a blur of white halls and antiseptic smell. I badged my way past security, claiming official business, until I found the right floor.
"Kaneki Ken?" The nurse checked her charts. "Surgery. He's still in surgery. Are you family?"
"Friend. Is he—will he be okay?"
"Too early to say. He lost a lot of blood, and there's organ damage. Dr. Kanou is our best surgeon though. If anyone can save him..." She offered a sympathetic smile. "There's a waiting room down the hall."
I sat in uncomfortable plastic chairs until dawn, dozing fitfully. Every time a doctor passed, I jumped up, but none had news.
Finally, as morning light crept through windows, a tired-looking surgeon appeared.
"Kaneki Ken's friend?"
"Yes. Is he...?"
"Stable. The surgery was... complicated. But he'll live." The doctor—Kanou, his coat said—studied me with interest. "He's very lucky. A few inches different and those beams would have killed him instantly."
"Can I see him?"
"He's sedated and will be for some time. But... briefly."
Kaneki looked small in the hospital bed, machines beeping around him. Pale, fragile, but breathing. Alive.
"I'm sorry," I whispered. "I tried to find you. Tried to warn you. I'm so sorry."
He didn't respond, lost in medication and trauma. But he was alive. That had to count for something.
My phone—miraculously still working despite the rain—showed seventeen missed calls from Touka. Eighteen texts ranging from worry to anger to desperate pleas to just let her know I was okay.
I typed back: Kaneki's alive. In hospital. I'm coming back now.
Her response was immediate: Thank god. We'll be here.
We. Part of me wanted to paint them as the typical ghouls I encountered, beings ravaged by hunger that they'd launch at the first sight of a human being. But that coffee shop he loved going to, which was actually full of ghouls, was waiting for an investigator to return.
The sunrise painted Tokyo in soft colors as I made my way back to Ward 20. Back to Anteiku. Back to a conversation that would change everything.
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Author's Note: Pain... so much pain, help me.... helppPPP!!!!!
So, honestly this was a hassle. No, let me finish xd, so I honestly had too many things to account for that it drove me crazy writing it properly, redid it many times I don't know at this point if its good.
Is it?