Every gift, every letter, every memory-laced memento was still scattered around.
And now he had to hide them all.
He did not have the luxury of letting this be discovered, not by Sooha, not by anyone.
As then they would all know his only weakness.
He realized it all because the boy he hadn't forgotten in fifteen years was waiting outside.
Once again, Sooha stirred emotions Damien thought long buried, twisting his insides with a mix of dread and longing.
And yet... There was nothing he could do.
Not after what he'd done to Luke.
There was no way Sooha could ever look at him the same again. Not as a friend. Not as anything else.
So then, what was he doing in front of his door?
Damien then shoved the last of Sooha's things into a box and pushed it into the back of his wardrobe before heading out.
When he opened the door, Sooha was standing with arms crossed and a scowl on his face.
"For heaven's sake, what took you so long? Can I come in now?" Sooha huffed.
"I wasn't expecting visitors," Damien muttered.
"Yeah, whatever," Sooha replied, brushing past him. "I've got something important to tell you."
As his back faced Damien, already inside his apartment, Sooha's voice softened just a little, one could almost call it shy.
"Also... I brought those biscuits you liked. From back in the day."
He didn't turn toward Damien; he just walked toward the sleek coffee table and left it there.
So this is the life of the highest elite, thought Sooha. The difference between his parents' home and Damien's apartment was clear, from a traditional mansion to a luxurious penthouse that didn't even exist ever since the cities fell in the 40s of the last century.
Damien could feel his chest tighten, and the tears welled in his eyes; he was once again just a boy with bruises waiting for his best.
No. The only friend ever who gave him a reason to wake up tomorrow.
And finally, he thought to himself, how could he not love him?
How, when he was the only person who had ever shown him kindness.
"Sooha, I..." he paused, turning towards him, "I have to speak to you about everything or I will go mad."
Sooha, who had just set down the present on the table, turned towards Damien, eyes wide.
"What's wrong with you?" He came here to tell Damien something, not to listen to whatever he had to say.
At least that's what he thought.
Why Damien? He could have told Yuna or his parents.
Why come here?
What was even the thing he wanted to tell him again— ah, right, the smaller cities going silent.
That could wait, right?
He could listen to what Damien had to say, right?
"Don't look at me like that," Damien spat those words out as if disgusted by himself, snapping Sooha back to the present.
And in a few swift steps, he found himself behind Sooha.
He was dumbfounded as Damien turned him towards him and looked him straight in the eyes, now finally seeing that they were full of tears.
"Please, Sooha, don't do this, and ... Not now, not when you haven't been here for years, not when I thought you were dead for half of those, please I beg of you," Damien said, his gaze dropping to the floor as tears hit the ground.
And now it struck him, the realisation that the boy who stayed behind in Elysium was still the same old Damien he had left there.
He still couldn't talk about what he felt, his tears still welled up when he couldn't explain himself, and just because he had a uniform and a position now and had locked his emotions away from others, it didn't change who he was.
He was still his Damien.
Sooha grabbed him by the back and pulled him close.
"I don't know what's wrong with you tonight, and I definitely..." he stopped, swallowing the surge of emotion in his throat, "...have not forgiven you for letting Luke die. But you still mean something to me."
Hearing that almost sent Damien over the edge; he didn't want to cry into Sooha's shoulder, at least that's what he told himself, but the realisation of the situation crept in.
The sweet smell of peonies. Hair as soft as feathers brushes his cheek.
His mind went places it hadn't dared, not even in his wildest dreams.
And this time, he did not even mind it; he finally embraced the fact that he would hopelessly love this man.
Forever.
Silently.
Because deep inside, he didn't feel like he would ever be deserving of him.
Not after keeping him in that cold, sterile place just for closure.
Definitely not after what he did to Luke.
Finally, Sooha slowly pushed Damien away.
"I did not come here to rekindle old friendships, though..." His expression hardened. "Something is happening out there, Damien, and I fear it will come for Elysium too."
Damien composed himself, "What are you talking about?"