I walked over to the mirror and curved a smile when my eyes caught my figure, and for the first time in a while, I did not cringe or try to suck in my stomach or tilt my head for a more flattering angle, I just looked really good and noticed how healthy I had become, like genuinely glowing-skin, soft-thighs, thick-hair kind of healthy. Struggling to maintain a diet had been a whole rollercoaster on its own, because being a foodie with a sweet tooth and a weakness for late-night snacks did not exactly align with my royal board of dream-body goals, but somehow I scaled through it, even though there were nights I literally stared at a plate of unhealthy rice. At one point, I had taken it too far, skipping actual meals just to stay within some imaginary shape that I thought would make me feel pretty or worthy, but I ended up looking like a stick figure who might actually blow away if the fan speed went beyond three. But now, after weeks of not being so mean to my body made my thin shape filled up in the right places.
"Miwa!" my mom's voice called out from the kitchen.
"Coming, Mom!" I answered, hurrying to join her.
When I got there, she stretched her hand towards the table and my smile nearly collapsed the moment I saw the plate, because instead of the spicy macaroni cheese or anything remotely exciting, it was a full-on rainbow of vegetables.
"Don't make that face and eat, and yes I have gotten rid of all those junk food in the freezer," my mum uttered, I knew she would lecture me about my cholesterol.
Instead of complaining, I sat down and ate up with a smile.
"You're going to win this singing competition, sweetheart. I believe in you. The whole world will know your name, Miwa," she said, and her voice had that motherly conviction that made it hard to argue, even if I was internally glitching.
Now that she brought it up, I could not ignore the tightness in my chest, because this was the actual reason I had been trying so hard to shrink myself into society's ridiculous beauty standard, as if having the perfect waistline and drinking detox teas would somehow give me the confidence to stand on a stage and win. And the closer the competition got, the more nervous I started to feel.
"Mom, I'm so nervous, if I do win, my focus is on the money. I need to pay for your surgery. That's all that matters to me right now."
She touched my cheek gently which made all the nerves and pressure, softened just a little.
"Sweetheart, your grandma said she's going to introduce you to someone."
And just like that, my brain completely abandoned all logical thought and went full blank, because what did that even mean? Someone? As in a vocal coach? Or like..... someone-someone? Now she wanted to throw clueless matchmaking into the mix?
"What? Grandma said? What do you mean?"
"You're of marriageable age, Miwa. You should be married by now. When I was your age, I already had you."
"Mom, stop!" I banged my hand on the table, shaking my head. "Can't you just let things happen naturally? Please don't put pressure on me like this."
She sighed but didn't push further. "I know you care about me. You want to help me, but you need to start thinking about your future too."
"Mom, I'm not ready."
She hesitated, then smiled. "Have you really not met anyone? No one who caught your attention?"
I let out a tired sigh, because this conversation was starting to feel awkward in that sitcom kind of way where the daughter sits across from her mother and suddenly finds herself talking about love, as if they were two best friends casually gossiping over the boys they had kissed, except this was real and uncomfortable and the fact that it with my mother.
"Mom, it's not that I haven't met anyone. But they're not right for me. Most of the men I had meant are just too cocky, and I'm not even sure if most of them understands the word 'boundaries.' Some just have bad energy. None of them feel right."
"What kind of person do you want, then?" she asked, frowning as she folded her arms across her chest with that look mothers give when they're about to dissect your entire life, belief system, and emotional state in under thirty seconds.
What kind of person do I want? That question made me glitch a little, and for the first time, I realized I had never truly asked myself that question. Maybe because I had been too focused on practicing my vocals, or too caught up in trying to fit into society's perfect mold, or I had been trying to outrun the very thing she was now asking me to confront. In this kingdom, where nineteen was considered suspiciously close to too old for marriage, where girls my age were already mothers or at least engaged with sparkling rings and big plans, my answer felt like rebellion.
"Mum, what if I ain't cut out for marriage?"
The moment I uttered those words, I swear I saw a vein form sharply on the side of her forehead. For one wild second, I thought she was going to smack my face so hard it would echo through the kingdom.
But instead of giving me the full sermon on womanhood and the divine timing of marriage, she just stood there blinking at me like I had spoken a language she never expected to hear from her own daughter.
"Mom, I have a competition to focus on. And now you're talking about marriage? Can we please not argue about this? Just let me focus on what's important right now."
She nodded. "Alright, Miwa. But just remember, I want you to be happy in all aspects of your life, not just one."
I sighed and hugged her again, silently hoping she'd understand that I wasn't ready for that part of my life yet.
I was preparing for the contest, so I decided to find a quiet outdoor place to bath. I chose the stream near the Maida tree for a refreshing bath. I was so relieved to find it empty when I arrived.
I deeped myself in the cool water, ran my fingers through my hair, and savored the tranquility of the moment. I swear it feels so good .
A rustle from the Maida trees pulled me back to reality. I stiffened as I turned toward the sound, squinting through the sunlight, filtering between the leaves. A bird? Or a wild monkey?
I gasped immediately I caught the presence of a figure.
Someone was watching me! I could feel that strange feeling of being watched. I quickly submerged myself in the water and turned around to reach the other edge of the lake.
Out of nowhere, a man in black mask jumped down like a wild animal, but I didn't look back, and could swear down that he was swimming twice as fast than I am.
"Who are you? Were you spying on me?" I screamed.
He said nothing, then turned and left without a word.
What the heck just happened?
I was stunned, completely baffled. I hurried out of the water and slipped into my dress.
I had no idea wild men hide themselves in the trees, spying at me. How long has this been going on? I gasped the moment I felt someone hold my zipper, and the cold touch of his fingers against my back sent wild chill down my spine as he slowly pulled it all the way up. I was unable to move a muscle.
"What do you want from me?" I asked, barely able to push the words out. I could even hear the fear in my voice. He leaned closer until his breath touched my ear.
"Miwa, listen to me, whatever you do, do not walk through Yeninia Street, and if you're going to the contest, take the Natarula Roadway instead, because it's the only safe way there," he said, then turned around and started walking away. I stared at the broad length of his back, and I was so sure that I had never heard that voice before, and nothing about his figure looked the least bit familiar. I was already terrified about attending the contest, mostly because I kept imagining the worst possibilities, like being kidnapped or something even more horrible. There were so many times I had wanted to quit, but somehow I just could not bring myself to walk away, because I still desperately needed the money for my mum's health.