"Sabuko... Why COULDN'T YOU BE IN MY TEAM INSTEAD OF SASUKE?!" Naruto grumbled loudly to Sabuko, making SURE Sasuke heard that.
"Taken the words out of my mouth, Naruto." Sasuke sighed, "You're annoying."
"Grrrr..!!" Naruto growled at him, "At least I'm with Sakura-chan...!"
'Phew... I was half-convinced the Hokage would go, "Hurr durr, Sabuko said one nice thing to Naruto—put 'em together." But nope. Thank fuck. The major groups went how I hoped. Me and Takos are stuck under some mob-tier Jōnin with a mob-tier girl. Perfect. No disruption to the timeline...'
"Come on, it's not like we won't see each other." He tapped on Naruto's shoulder.
"Hrn... I guess so. Still sucks—you better believe it..." Naruto grumbled.
"A bit."
'Actually relieved. Already got what I wanted from you anyway,' Sabuko thought, his finger twitching at the thought.
"Anyway, I'll eat lunch with my team." Sabuko got up from his seat.
"O-oh, see you later... Hehe... I get to eat lunch with Sakura-chan..." Naruto chuckled to himself, blushing.
'Naruto smells like onions.' Sabuko thought as he walked out of the classroom, lunchbox in hand.
He spotted Takos outside with the girl assigned to their team. Without thinking, he called out:
"Takos, wait up!"
Takos turned. His tongue audibly clicking as he saw Sabuko.
"Shouldn't you be eating with your butt-buddy, Naruto?"
Sabuko paused.
'You motherfucker.'
He took a slow breath.
'Landlord's kid. Remember that.'
"Come on, don't be like that. Just 'cause I sat with him doesn't mean we're strangers—"
He reached out to tap Takos' shoulder—
—but Takos slapped it away.
"Get away from me, man," he hissed, shooting a quick glance at the girl beside him; panicking that she might've seen.
"Go sit with Naruto. He's your bestie now, right?" he added with a forced laugh, turning to walk away.
"C-... Come on, Koko. Let's eat...?" he mumbled awkwardly, slowing just enough to let her catch up.
The girl, Koko, paused briefly between them. She looked at Sabuko for a moment, expression unreadable, then followed Takos silently.
Sabuko stood there, hearing the boy's voice trail off:
"Sitting with Naruto… Something's wrong with him, you know?"
Koko didn't reply. She only nodded — not angry, not shocked. Just confused.
Sabuko exhaled.
'Really wish I could snap his fucking neck right about now.'
He rubbed the spot on his palm where Takos had slapped him.
He stood alone in the hallway, staring down at the lunchbox in his hands.
'Everyone's off eating with their teams. Naruto too. Soon he'll be chasing after Sakura, trying to beat Sasuke, impersonating him for a kiss with her.'
'The Ino-Shika-Cho trio are already together. Hinata's with her team. Even the nameless background extras are paired up.'
'...And I'm just standing here.'
'All alone.'
He clenched his fist.
'...No. I'm not.'
'I have the Shadow Clone Jutsu.'
He took a breath.
'I could just eat with a clone. Have it sit across from me. Maybe even transform it into a cute mommy-type... if it's just for that, I can do it. I learned to Transform, too.'
He gulped.
'Yeah. I don't have to eat alone.'
He slipped the bento into his coat pocket, forming the Tiger hand seal.
'Fuck everything.'
"Kage Bunshin no—"
"Hey," a voice called out behind him.
Sabuko froze.
He turned his head slightly.
Choji stood a few steps away, over a dozen of onigiris in hand as he munched on them, Shikamaru slouched beside him with his hands in his pockets. Ino standing behind, looking away while folding her arms.
"You wanna eat with us?" Choji asked plainly.
Shikamaru didn't say anything, but gave a slow, tired glance that almost resembled a nod.
Sabuko blinked.
He lowered his hands.
'... The fuck?'
"Y... Sure. Thanks." Sabuko gulped.
They all walked together.
'I didn't think and just answered... But... The fuck?'
They reached their spot; a balcony at the highest point of the academy. Each picked their own place to sit.
"Listen up, you two!" Ino called out, glaring at Shikamaru and Choji. "As long as we're on the same team, you're doing everything I say!"
Shikamaru sighed mid-bite. "Yeah, yeah..."
'She gets real loud when people argue back... Better to just let her have it,' Shikamaru thought.
'Huh.' Sabuko watched their exchange. 'At least this is going 1 to 1 like it did in the show.'
"Let's all go out for BBQ sometime!" Choji beamed, eyes gleaming as he looked at the group; including Sabuko.
"...?" Sabuko blinked.
'He couldn't have meant me too, right?'
"Oh, come on..." Ino groaned, rubbing her temples.
"Hm? Is that Naruto?" Shikamaru asked, tilting his head. Ino followed his gaze.
'Ah!' Sabuko lifted his head, 'Here comes the part where he tries to seduce Sakura while impersonating Sasuke,'
He leaned over the rails, holding the bento in his other hand.
'Honestly, I thank the gods Sakura and Sasuke have the worst chemistry imaginable. Otherwise, I'd have to call Naruto an NTR perv for this stunt.'
Sure enough, Naruto crept toward the window where Sasuke was eating his Onigiri, then lunged inside.
Sounds of fighting echoed from the window.
"NARUTO...! I won't forgive you if you hurt Sasuke!!" Ino growled, shaking her fist.
Time passed.
'Super relieved seeing the canon play out 1 to 1... Guess I was overthinking it earlier.'
Eventually, the window opened again, and Sasuke stepped out; smirking as he walked away.
"So... Naruto got beat by the guy he challenged," Shikamaru observed.
"Of course! He's no match for Sasuke-kun," Ino chimed, practically glowing.
"..."
Sabuko took another bite as he watched it unfold, his expression blank.
Ino glanced at Sabuko. His eyes were still fixed on Naruto, disguised as Sasuke, his expression unreadable.
"Sabuko...-kun, right?" she called out, her voice trailing off.
"Why are you saying it like you didn't remember his name perfectly last time?" Choji muttered.
"SHUT UP!" Ino snapped, cheeks flaring red. She whipped back toward Sabuko.
"So. Naruto's, like, super annoying," she said. "Why are you hanging out with him?"
Choji and Shikamaru quietly glanced between the two.
'Well, shit. I wasn't really ready to answer that...' Sabuko cleared his throat after swallowing, looking away as he scratched his head.
Ino crossed her arms and looked away, trying to act indifferent.
"I mean, it's not like I care what you do or anything," she added. "But you're gonna get weird looks, you know?"
"There's no good reason to hang out with someone like him. He's only trouble, after all."
Neither Choji nor Shikamaru said anything — but both looked at Sabuko now.
"..." He looked down at his food.
'I only bonded with him to learn Kage Bunshin and get railed by my clone harem…'
Sabuko sighed. Set his bento down. Took a deep breath.
The Ino-Shika-Cho trio leaned in, eyes expectant.
'I guess I COULD say what I think about him.'
Finally, he raised his head, meeting Ino's gaze.
"...You're right," Sabuko said.
"....."
"...."
"....."
He picked his chopsticks back up and resumed eating in silence.
"THAT'S IT?!" Ino exploded.
"PFFT—Hahaha!" Chōji burst out, clutching his stomach, nearly falling over.
Even Shikamaru let out a quiet snort, glancing away.
"I mean, I don't really have anything to say about it. Yeah, he's a troublemaker and all..." Sabuko muttered. Ino's eyes flickered again, expectant.
"....."
He kept eating.
"YOU'RE DOING IT ON PURPOSE, I SWEAR!!" Ino shouted, flailing. Chōji laughed even harder.
"STOP—STOP—AHAHA—I CAN'T BREATHE!" he cried, slapping the floor, his onigiris almost falling from his hands.
"..."
Ino looked down, Choji's laughter fading into the background.
"What about... y'know, what you said to him?" she asked, quieter now.
"Back at graduation... Was all that true? That it's not his fault people hate him or whatever..."
Her words hung in the air. The laughter stopped.
Both Chōji and Shikamaru turned toward Sabuko, their smiles gone.
A beat.
"...He's got no parents," Sabuko started, "And even when he doesn't act out, everyone still treats him like garbage,"
Sabuko said, raising his head. His expression was blank. Steady.
"...I just think he doesn't deserve that. He's not the bad guy they all make him out to be."
Ino stared at him, wide-eyed, lips slightly parted.
Both Chōji and Shikamaru quietly smiled to themselves... And at Sabuko.
An hour later...
Everyone returned to their respective classrooms.
Sabuko walked alongside the Ino-Shika-Chō trio.
"I'm heading in here," he said, giving them a casual wave.
"You're a cool guy, Sabuko. Come get BBQ with us sometime!" Chōji grinned.
Sabuko's lips parted, his expression unreadable.
'He... Just invited me for BBQ? With them...?' He blinked again at Choji.
"All you ever think about is food..." Ino sighed, rolling her eyes.
"What's wrong with that?" Chōji shot back, unfazed. Shikamaru said nothing — just kept walking with a hand in his pocket.
Sabuko stood by the doorway, watching them go.
"...."
He looked down for a moment.
'It wasn't... Bad eating with them. Doing it again sometime... Doesn't sound bad, either.'
And with that, he slid the door open and stepped inside.