7 a.m
The kitchen smelled of toasted bread and freshly brewed coffee. Sophie wiped her hands on her apron and turned around to take a plate from the top shelf. It was just out of her reach - just like many things in her life.
She made breakfast for two, just like every morning. She set the table carefully, his cup on the right and hers on the left. Then, with a faint smile Sophie went to their bedroom to wake him up - her husband. They have been married for five years but not once had she felt the warmth of that bond.
"Adrian, wake up... the breakfast is ready" She said in a soft tone after nudging his shoulder gently. He was asleep or at least pretending to be. Sophie was used to his behaviour, she knew he didn't want to see her face first thing in the morning, that's why he was stayed like this - eyes shut, body still- until she gave up and left the room.
So, like every morning she swallowed the lump in her throat, forced a smile that no one would see and quietly walked out.
She glanced at the clock - 7:15 a.m, sitting into her chair at the dining table. He would come out now after washing his face and doing morning routine. She straightened her posture without realizing it, tucking a stray hair behind her ear, her eyes flickering toward the hallway. She had told herself not to hope but still...she hoped.
Adrian entered the dining room, wearing a pair of grey sweatpants and a black t-shirt that clung to his frame just right. His hair being messy from sleep, slightly falling over his forehead and his skin carried that effortless morning glow. After taking a look at his face and body anyone could tell he was god's favorite.
Sophie looked up from her coffee and for a brief second her breath caught.
Even after all these years, he still had that effect on her.
He didn't notice the way her lingered, didn't catch the soft flutter of her heart that betrayed her pride each morning. He just walked past her, sat in his usual seat and picked up the fork like she wasn't even there.
As if love never bloomed between them.
As if she wasn't a part of his life...
"I have to go to the bookstore today to buy some books, She said breaking the silence between them. "So.. if you leave work early today, can you take me there?"
Adrian didn't looked up, he chewed slowly, wiped his mouth and reached for his coffee.
For a second, she thought he hadn't heard her.
Then came the same answer she had grown used to over the years.
"We'll see"
Not a yes. Not a no.
Just enought to keep her waiting.
She smiled faintly and nodded, eyes dropping to her plate.
She already knew the truth, they would never go. Everytime she asked - for a walk, a movie, a small errand- he would say those exact words: "We'll see."
And then he would come home late. On purpose.
She was not foolish, not anymore.
It had taken her five years to understand that his silent was intentional, avoidance wrapped in politeness. But still, she asked. Not because she believed he'd say yes but because a tiny part of her still wanted to be chosen. Even just once.
The rest of breakfast passed in silence. She didn't say another word neither did he. The only sound between them was the clink of cutlery. It was a routine they had mastered - two people sitting across from each other, words apart. After he finished his food he walked toward the bedroom to get ready for work.
Sophie went to the kitchen counter where a small lunchbox was placed. Chicken sandwich, fruit slices and a tiny note she did not wanted to include anymore.
By the time he came out, dressed in his sharp grey suit, hair now combed back and face unreadable. She handed the lunchbox to him with a soft voice, " Here."
He took it with a nod. No thank you, no smile.
"Bye, have a good day" She said quietly.
"Bye," he replied with no emotions, already turning toward the door.
And just like every day, they went their separate ways- him to the office, her into a house that never felt hers.
A marriage filled with goodbyes that never meant anything.
A love that existed only in her heart.
Sophie stood by the door for a long moment, holding the the voices inside her mind to not come out. The house was quiet again, she felt terrible here.
She changed into a soft beige cardigan, slipped on her shoes, tied her beautiful long, black hair into a loose braid and grabbed her tote bag. Inside was a journel, a pen, her mobile phone that never rang and a small money pouch.
The bookstore was forty-five minute walk from their banglow. Sophie didn't mind. The breeze was gentle and she wanted to cool her mind from all the running thoughts.
She reached the small bookstore nestle between a flowershop and a cafe that always smelled like cinnamon. A little doorbell chimed as she stepped inside. The smell of old pages and fresh coffee hit her instantly. As she flipped through pages, she paused, her fingers resting lightly on the paper, when something outside the window caught her attention. A black car had pulled up across the narrow street, just in front of the cafe next door.
At first she didn't think much of it but then.. her eyes narrowed. The number plate. It was Adrian's car.
What was he doing here? He wasn't the type to visit bookstores or cafe. He'd never once came when she asked. And yet...here he was.
Before she could even process the thoughts, the passenger door opened. A beautiful women with blond hair and a tall figure came out. She laughed at something Adrian said and Sophie saw the way his lips curled into a smile.
A smile Sophie had never seen in five years of marriage.
And in that moment, she realised something cruel and clear: He wasn't incapable of love. He just did not choose to love her.