The morning of Levi's departure
I couldn't sleep. I kept tossing and turning, dreading the dawn. I didn't want to leave, and not in fear of the unknown world out there, that maybe was a bit of it, but I mainly didn't want to leave Eren.
I wouldn't say I love him, that was much too fast. But I like him. A lot. I want to spend time with him. I love talking to him and learning new things about him. I love his laugh and his smile, and the way his hair gets frizzy has it get dries.
I grinned. Eren had natural wavy hair, and it looked so fun to play with, but when it first dried, it was frizzy and poofy.
It was cute.
I wanted to learn more things about him. I didn't want to leave.
——————
I only slept that night because I passed out from exhaustion. I thought I was going to have a tough day as I lost consciousness.
When I woke up, I was surprised to feel refreshed. I blinked open my eyes and furrowed my brows. I felt nice. How? I only slept for two hours at most.
I sat up and climbed out of bed. I walked to the small window like hole in the wall, and looked out into the bright day. I found the sun, and figured it to be around noon.
This only furthered my confusion. It explained my energy, but Eren said I would leave at dawn.
It was way past dawn.
I furrowed my brows, again. I quickly changed and left the room. "Eren!"
He wasn't in the treasure room, so I went to the kitchen. He wasn't there either. "Eren!" I called again, my voice echoing off the walls.
"Aye?!" Eren called from the hot spring. I gulped and made my way over there. I peeked into the room to find Eren drying his hair with a towel, his clothes already on.
"Umm. What are you doing?" I asked, a little disappointed that he wasn't naked.
Eren stared at me from his curtain of wet hair. "I just bathed"
"Obviously" I rolled my eyes, and crossed my arms. "I meant, what happened to waking at dawn?"
He blinked, and then flushed. He looked away. "You seemed tired. I figured I'd let you sleep more" he pulled his towel away and flipped his hair out of his eyes. Holy fuck .
"Well—" I cleared my throat, looking away. "—thank you. I needed it, but I'm well rested now" I made a gesture in the direction of the entrance. I didn't want to leave, but better get it over with, right? The thought made my heart clench painfully in my chest.
Erens back straightened, and his face looked scared and concerned. "O-oh good, good" he twisted the towel in his hand, biting his lip. "We should eat first"
I nodded without the slightest hesitation. I didn't want to go.
——————
We ate a nice sweet porridge with fruits and honey. We had a casual conversation. No mention of my imminent departure.
I ate slowly, and so did Eren. Only half the food was gone and it had gone cold.
Cold porridge was disgusting. I made a face when the heat had left the gooey oats, and Eren laughed, and placed his hand on the side of my bowl and left it there for a few seconds.
When he pulled away, I took a bite to see that he had warmed it for me. I smiled, and ate another bite.
"Thank you"
"Of course"
We killed almost two hours, talking and reheating our forgotten food.
I was going to miss him. I was going to miss this. I didn't want to go.
I helped Eren wash the dishes, and put them away. I sighed, ready to tell him I was going to get my things, when he turned to me, grabbing my hands.
"I need your help"
"Oh? With what?"
Eren blinked. "My...garden?"
"Garden?" I knew Eren had a garden, but I had never seen it.
"Yes! Weeds are intense" Eren nodded.
"Okay. I'd love to help" I smiled and it grew at the sight of Erens.
"Okay. Let's go" he didn't let go of my hand as he led me to the garden. It was deeper into the cave, which was odd to me.
It got really dark all of a sudden, and I gripped Erens hand tighter. And then there was light. The cave wall opened, leading into a lush green garden.
It wasn't extravagant, only a few veggies and herbs. No fruits. Eren said he didn't do well with fruits, for some strange reason.
There was no covering above the garden, the sun beaming into the garden.
"Alright. Here you go" he handed me a basket. "Put weeds in there"
I nodded and walked around one way, Eren the other. There weren't many weeds. The soil was a bit moist from the shower yesterday.
When we were finished, Eren asked for my help bringing in water for the tanks, I did, and found out that the tanks were still full.
He asked for help fixing a hole in his shirt, one that looked like a hands had ripped it. Eren also knew how to mend his own clothes, he's the one who taught me.
When I finished his shirt, I handed it back to Eren, who was looking out of a window, a sad and pained look on his face.
I followed his gaze and saw the sky was right on the brink of sunset. Still blue, but another ten minutes and it would be orange. "You need to go" Erens voice was soft, sad. "You have a long way to go"
I blinked and nodded, "I'll go get my things" I stood front he stool I had been sitting on and went to the room. I put everything on the bed, going down a mental checklist in my mind.
A blanket, a change of clothes, a compass. I nodded and grabbed my bag I bought yesterday. I pulled the contents out. The two backs of jerky, a pomegranate, and...the little carved bear. I had almost forgotten about it.
I held the oak bear in my hands, running my finger gently over the details. Bears were scary animals. Big and large, loud. But the face on this bear, was sweet, innocent. It reminded me of someone, which is why I bought it in the first place. Someone who looked scary and intimidating, and surely was when provoked, but was so sweet and gentle when you get to know him.
I smiled sadly, before putting it gently on the pillow, away from the other stuff.
I put the jerky in the leather bag, the blanket and clothes. I put the compass in a small pocket in the front of the bag. I then grabbed the book Eren had got me for my birthday and put it gently and snuggly in the bag, making sure not to bend any pages and that there was no risk of it happening on the way.
There were only a few copper coins left, but it would buy a room in an inn for a few nights.
I sighed, put on my cloak, grabbed the bag in one hand and put the bear figure in my pocket.
Eren was waiting right out of the room. He was looking at his feet, and peeled up upon seeing me. "Do you have everything?"
I nodded. "I think so"
"Here" I then noticed he had a small canvas bag. "Here's some food,—" he handed me a small skin bag. "—some money—" and then shifted his father's botany book in his hands.
I took the food without hesitation, but bit my lip at the coins and shook my head at the book, even stepping back.
"I can't"
"Yes—" he grabbed my hand and slapped the coins into my palm. "—you can," he pressed the book into my chest. "You need it more"
I blinked and smiled, taking the items. I kneeled and opened my bag, putting the other things into my bag. "Thank you," He nodded. "I...I have something for you" I grabbed the wood carving from my pocket and took a hold of Erens hand with my free one, and put the bear into his palm. He looked at it, blinking. "To...to remember me by" I whispered, my fingers tracing his. Eren gasped so quietly I would have missed it if I wasn't standing so close. I looked at him and Eren was staring at the carving, tears shining in his eyes.
He was so handsome. His eyes a color that didn't have a name, his skin olive and glowing. His cheeks bone prominent, and his lips. His lips plump and pink. So very kissable.
I wanted to kiss him. I wanted—no—needed to know what it felt like. I was leaving, if it wasn't what I was expecting, or he didn't like it, we would...we would never see each other again.
The thought made me tear up and I moved one of my hands and put it on his shoulder, the other still holding his hand. "Eren" He blinked and looked at me, eyes bright with forming tears. "Thank you." My voice was a whisper, and I held his eye contact. "Thank you for everything" Then I stood on my toes, and gently pressed my lips to his. It was light and soft. Chaste.
Eren didn't kiss back, but I didn't give him much time either. He blinked at me, his eyes searching my face, though I wasn't sure what.
"Goodbye Eren" I said softly. I placed a hand on his cheek and smiled, a tear leaving my eye.
I pulled away, slowly. I kept my fingers on him for as long as possible, and his eyes followed, face confused and pained.
When contact was broken, I turned, grabbing my bags and walking towards Bell, my eyes stinging.
I needed to leave, but it hurt so much. Bell was there, and she whinnied happily at the sight of me.
I swung my bag over Bells rump. She was saddled and ready to go. Eren had apparently bought gear for her. My eyes watered even more. I already missed him and I hadn't even left the cave yet.
I was about to mount Bell when I heard Erens voice call my name. I paused my climb and turned to see his staring at me. He was crying.
I let go of the horn and turned to him. He ran to me, gathering me in his arms and kissed me, hard. My kiss to him was gentle, sweet. Filled with sadness. This kiss was the opposite. It was hard, and rough, and filled with so many emotions I was dizzy with it.
I had flung my arms around his neck when he grabbed me and I tangled my fingers into his thick hair.
His grip was tight, and his bit my lip. I pulled away, gasping. "Don't" Erens voice was filled with pain, dripping in desperation. "Don't go. Don't leave"
I blinked at him, trying not to smile. "Then don't make me go" I brushed my fingertips over Eren lips. "I'll stay as long as you'll have me"
"Always" Eren lifted me in the air and spun, kissing me again.
I smiled against his mouth, my hands cupping his face. He set me on my feet and broke the kiss. "Are you sure this is what you want?" I asked.
"What I want is for you to unpack that bag" Erne growled, nipping at my lip.
"In a minute" I sounded breathless, I was breathless, but I didn't care. I grabbed his face between my hands and kissed him.
——————
After a good makeout session, Eren stepped away. As much as I wanted to keep going, even if my lips hurt, I knew we needed a break.
We un-tacked Bell, and took my bags back to the room, where Eren started unpacking while I sat on the bed, watching him put my change of clothes in his wardrobe.
"Are you going to sleep in here?" I asked as he put my bag on a shelf inside the closet.
Eren blinked and looked at me over his shoulder. "I—I don't know" he shut the door and turned to me.
"Why not?" I asked, maneuvering onto my hands and knees and crawling to him, slow and dramatic, hips swaying.
Eren watched my hips and he licked his lips.
" That's way" he nodded at my ass.
I smirked and stood on my knees, in front of him. I pecked his lips and took his hands in mine, and placed them on my chest.
He pressed his palm against my pecs, the heel of his palm rubbing my nipples.
I gasped softly, and hooked my fingers into the collar of my shirt and pulled them off my shoulders, revealing my prominent clavicle.
Eren bit his lip and shifted his hands, the shirt dropping down my torso, before getting caught in the crooks of my elbow. "Touch me" I whispered, taking a hold of his hands and moving them to my shoulders. "Touch me" I repeated, and his hands moved down my arm on their own. "Touch me" I sounded desperate, even to my own ears. I held onto his arms and pulled him on top of me.
Erens practically forced my legs apart with his body and I bit my lip. He held himself up on one elbow, his right hand trailing down my chest, just the tip of his fingers, lightly kissing my skin. It moved over the curve of my pec, and down my ribs, and each small bump of abdominal muscle. He pulled the shirt further apart, and caressed my navel, and my hip bone.
I moaned quietly, my back arching into his touch, goosebumps appearing on my skin with a shiver.
He took his hand away for just a second before he put it back, this time cupping my hard cock through my breeches.
I gasped, legs instinctively trying to close. I sat up slightly, before I willed my body to relax and I laid back on the bed again. " Eren "
"Beautiful" Eren said quietly, and leaned down and took a nipple in his mouth, his tongue running in circles around the nub.
I gasped, my hips thrusting into his awaiting palm and I cried out.
He let go of a nipple and licked up my chest to my neck. His palm was massaging me through my pants and I whined.
Eren growled and suddenly pulled away from me. "We can't"
"Don't you fucking dare!" I yelled, and grabbed his shirt and shoved him to the bed. "We can talk after I cum!" I sat on top of him and and started grinding my hips against his. Eren gasped, his hands holding my hips and started moving with me. "You can't do that! You can't touch me like that and then stop without completing your goal you asshole"
"I'm sorry" Eren moaned out.
"I've been pent up for weeks!" I growled, humping him harder. "You're so sexy and you know just what to do to turn me on and then you leave me high and dry! No more!" I whimpered, my body twitching as my orgasm neared. "Eren! I want you inside me" I screamed, my release was so close . Eren growled and grabbed my arm, switching out positions back to how we started. "You're so desperate" he groaned, his thrusts hard.
I quickly started pulling at my pants, wanting them off, but Eren grabbed my hands and held them pinned to the bed above my head. "No"
I couldn't be mad, I was so turned on, I was being restrained and I fucking loved it, and I came screaming in Eren ear.
"Fuck" Eren groaned, his hand letting my wrist go to reach down and jerk himself off and then he came, onto my bare chest.
I thought I was going to be disgusted, but I whined in pleasure. It was warm and gooey, and I loved it.
We were breathing heavily, Erens arms trembling. I reached up and dipped my finger into a puddle of cum on my chest and looked at the milky liquid on my digit.
Eren rolled off of me and watched as I licked the semen off my finger. It was salty and delicious. I moaned and stuck my whole finger in my mouth, surprised at the way my body responded to Eren's seed. My legs trembled and I wanted this delectable stuff inside me, dripping from my entrance, coating my thighs and ass with it.
I pulled the finger from my mouth and turned to him, flinging my leg around him and pulling him closer.
"Fuck Levi" Eren growled, pulling me closer and kissing me, hard. "I can't get enough of you" he rolled me onto my back, and I dug my nails into his shoulders. " God " Eren opened my legs pressing my thighs flat against the bed, his nails digging into the flesh.
" Eren~ " I moaned, my hands gripping the pillow beneath my head.
"Fuck. Shit" Eren groaned, his teeth clenched and eyes shut tight. "Fuck" he was shaking, and panting. "Fuck" He suddenly got up and left the room, mumbling curses to himself.
"Eren!!" I sat up, calling after him, but he didn't respond. I blinked in surprise. Why the hell did he keep stopping? He was obviously attracted to me. Why won't he have sex with me?
I folded my arms, and poured, feeling arousal die and become replaced by uncertainty and a little bit of insecurity.
I fixed my shirt, covering myself and stood up, walking with wet breeches. "Eren!" I called, yelling down the hall leading to the kitchen. Nothing.
I sighed and made my way to the entrance. "Eren?"
Bell whined happily, shaking her head playfully at me. I went up and gave her gentle strokes on her neck. "Where did Eren go?"
She blinked at me before jerking her head towards the entrance. "Thank you baby girl" I kissed her cheek and went outside.
I shivered immediately, wrapping my arms around myself. It was a chilly day.
Eren was leaning against a tree, his eyes closed and he was taking deep breaths through his mouth.
I walked closer to him, and I kicked a rock by accident. Eren blinked and looked at me, then he smiled. "Hello"
I smiled back. "Hi" I tightened my grasp on my arms. My arms were still bruised from when Eren had grabbed me yesterday. "Why are you out here?"
"Calming myself down"
I hummed, pressing my lips together. "But why?" I asked. "Why don't you want to have sex with me?"
"Oh I want to" Eren chuckled, looking up into the sky. I opened my mouth to say something snarky, but a harsh wind shut my mouth and I shivered. Eren noticed, and stepped to me. "Let's talk about this inside, where it's warm" he held his hand out to me and I took it.
We made it back to the bedroom, where we sat on the bed. I folded my arms again. "Why do you keep running away? Why do you keep holding back?"
"I told you why yesterday"
"I'm not leaving though"
Eren blinked and then smiled, the thought pleasing him. "I know." His smile grew, and then slowly went back to a more serious expression. "I didn't want to do anything before because you were leaving. I didn't want to get close to you only for you to leave. You can't miss what you never had, kinda thing." He shrugged. "But now I don't have to worry about that, but you leaving wasn't the only excuse I gave you, don't you remember"
I swallowed thickly, I remember the anger and pain in his eyes as he gripped me tight and yelled at me. I remember the fear and need I felt. "You said you'd break me, make me bleed"
Eren nodded. "That's the truth, I would." I raised an eyebrow indicating I wanted him to elaborate. Eren pressed his lips together. "Do you know about dynamics by chance?"
His question through me off and I blinked. "You mean alphas, betas, and omegas?" He nodded. "Yeah. Humans used to have a secondary gender, but that gene evolved out of our bodies hundreds of years ago" Eren nodded.
"Well, other species still have the genes. Like dragons for example"
I blinked again. "Oh" I said, quite stupidly.
"I'm an alpha. I said that before"
"I thought it was a metaphor for your stubbornness, and protective nature"
"It is for Jean, but not me. I'm an alpha, full blooded alpha male" he puffed out his chest, proud.
"Ok, what does you being an alpha have to do with anything?"
"Alphas are known for being aggressive, both in everyday life, and in bed. Sex with an alpha is brutal and messy and rough. An omega is equipped to deal with the aggression. Their instincts want to be marked and possessed. They want to be fucked so hard they can't walk for weeks"
I bit my lip and clenched my fists. "That sounds fun"
Eren chuckled. "It can be. But omega bodies are meant for that, they produce slick to accommodate the movement and they stretch easier than a human male does" Eren sighed, rubbing a hand over his mouth. "Now, dragons are very sexual creatures. We love sex. A lot"
I nodded, grinning. "I'm fine with this"
Eren smiled before continuing. "And I'm very pent up. I haven't had sex in a long time and it's taking a toll on my mentality. I don't want to hurt you because my carnal needs haven't been met."
"Now, the orgasm I just had was fantastic, but it'll only hold me over for a day and then my aggression will come back"
"I like when you're aggressive though. I love when you take control of me"
"Oh Levi," he smiled sweetly at me. "you're so young, and pure and naive"
I glared. "Naive?!"
"Yes. You don't know the first thing about sex. You're a virgin aren't you?" I pursed my lips, glaring. "A few moments ago was the first time anyone but yourself has touched you, right?" I glared harder.
"Yeah, but what does that matter?"
"You're new to all this. Sex is a new and exciting and mysterious thing to you, but trust me, fantasy is very different from reality"
"Are you saying I don't know what I want?"
"Yeah." My eyes popped open, not expecting that response. "I'm not saying that you won't want to be fucked brainless against the wall one day, but you don't want that to be your first time. You don't slick like omegas or females do, you don't have the physical accommodations to handle that"
I crossed my arms, not arguing because I had nothing to retaliate with.
"I have had sex with a lot of people in my years, both dragons and humans, and with all ranges of sexual experiences. Trust me when I say you want your first time to be gentle and sweet. And I know I'm not in the mind set for that right now.
"I want you" Eren said, taking my hand in his. "But I know that right now, I won't be able to stop"
I pouted.
"I'm also near my rut."
"Rut?"
He nodded. "Do you not know what a rut and heat is?"
"N-no I do." I stammered out, trying to remember the books I read. "Heats and ruts are forms of mating instincts. An omega goes into heat to try and get pregnant and and alpha goes in to a rut to try and impregnate"
Eren nodded. "Yes. The cycle happens once a year, the last week of January, it lasts a week"
I quickly did the math in my head. It was the 28th of December.
A whole month. I sighed.
"How do you know you'll hurt me? You've had fantastic self control so far"
Erens stared at me before he looked away grimacing. "Because I've don't it before" his voice was so quiet, I almost wasn't sure I heard him.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean last year I was pent up and I couldn't wait another week for my rut, so I went into a town and found a brothel. I paid for a prostitute, and took him to his room, where I lost control" he closed his eyes tight, ashamed. "When in rut, I still know what's going on, I don't black out, but that social filter disappears and there's no wall keeping the instincts at bay. Everything goes. My wall crumbled and I did what I felt was right, I didn't realize I was hurting the boy." He grimaced. "Omegas produce slick to help with the friction, human males don't. You need lube or oil and I didn't use enough. I felt warm liquid and my alpha inside me assumed slick. It wasn't until after I came that I realized he was crying and the warmth I felt was blood."
I shuddered, cringing at the thought of tearing. I pulled my legs to my chest and whined in fear.
"He didn't tell me to stop because I had paid him for it. When I apologized he just said he was fine, climbed out of bed and escorted me out of the room. I've never been to a brothel since"
I nodded, my haves clenching my knees
"I don't want to hurt anyone again. I would hate myself if I hurt you" he looked at me, tears in his eyes. "I'm not risking hurting you, so we have to waist until after my rut. Then my instincts will be calmed and I'll be able to take you the way you deserve"
I blinked at him before I smiled. "So a month?"
"Yes" I nodded and reached out to grab his hand.
"I can wait"
Eren nodded, smiling. "Good" He squeezed my fingers. "I impatiently wait"
"Me too"
He smiled. "Shall I get supper ready?" I nodded and moved to get up and help him but he stopped me. "I'll cook, you stay and put the rest of your stuff away"
I grinned and reached for my bag.
——————
We ate a quick dinner and soon, we grew tired. "You never answered my question"
"Oh?" Eren asked, raising an eyebrow as we washed the dishes.
"Are you going to sleep in the bedroom with me?"
He stilled, hands still drying the ceramic plate. "I do not know"
"We don't have to have sex. I'll behave myself"
Eren's lip twitched in a small smile. "Aye, I'm sure you will" He handed me the plate and I dried it. "Perhaps"
"It's your room Eren. I've kicked you out of your room for three weeks, don't let me do it for another night"
He eyed me from the side before he nodded, slowly. "Alright" He smiled. "I do miss my bed"
"Then let's go, I'm exhausted" I dried my hands and tossed him the towel. Once he was dry, I took his hands and pulled him to the bedroom.
We changed into our nightclothes, backs facing each other, and then climbed under the thick fur quilt.
Eren waved his hand and the fire died to a light crackle. I hummed happily when he wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me against his side. I rested my head against his chest. "What happened to minding manners?" I teased, snuggling closer.
"You're right" He then promptly pushed me away and rolled onto his side, his back facing me.
"No!" I whined, grabbing his shoulder and pulling him onto his back. Eren laughed and pulled me into his arms.
"Shut up you ass" I groaned, closing my eyes.
"You're cute" He kissed my head. "Good night, my prince"
But I was already embraced in sleep, dreams filling my mind.