If there's one thing anime has taught me, it's that life gets significantly weirder once transfer students show up.
Especially if they arrive in black limousines.
And especially if they burn cafeteria tuna with pink hellfire before the bell rings.
But I'm getting ahead of myself.
Morning: Pancakes and Blood Oaths
The day started with the usual dose of hellfire.
Lilith—my absurdly gorgeous, disturbingly powerful demon stepmom—stood in the kitchen humming something in Latin while flipping pancakes with telekinesis. She was wearing my dad's old T-shirt as a nightgown, her hair cascading over her shoulders like a shampoo commercial sponsored by the underworld.
The apron on top of that? It read #1 Hell Mom in embroidered red glitter.
"Lilith," I muttered, yawning as I stumbled into the kitchen. "Did you leave a pentagram on the bathroom mirror again?"
"That wasn't me, darling," she replied with a smile. "Your toothbrush summoned a minor imp. I had to exorcise it. Pancake?"
"…Thanks?"
At School: Entry of Doom
The chaos began during homeroom.
The classroom door slid open, and a gust of wind blew in — despite the fact we were inside and on the second floor.
High heels clicked.
Every male in class stopped breathing.
Scarlet hair, flowing like a curtain of flame, framed a face that screamed "touch me and perish." She wore the school uniform, but it was definitely… modified. Shorter skirt. Tighter blouse. A jacket slung off her shoulder with aristocratic laziness.
"My name is Ishtar," she said in a smoky voice that probably violated three school regulations and my blood pressure. "Please take care of me."
I choked on my own oxygen.
Why was she staring directly at me?!
Lunchtime: The Tuna Incident
The day could've remained manageable if not for the tuna.
The school cafeteria had launched a new "Spicy Tuna Medley Surprise" that honestly smelled like betrayal.
Ishtar glided through the cafeteria line like a queen judging peasants. She took one whiff of the tuna tray and recoiled like it was a bucket of holy water.
"Who dares poison me with this… cursed fish?"
"It's just… tuna," I offered weakly. "Probably expired. But, like, with dignity."
She sniffed. "This reeks of binding magic. Salted abyss flesh. Do you know how many low-tier soul eaters are trapped in this substance?"
And then she snapped her fingers.
🔥💥
The tuna combusted into pink flames. The lunch lady screamed. Sprinklers went off. A small demon scurried from under the vending machine and vanished into the ceiling, yelling, "FREEDOM!"
Meanwhile, Ishtar stood there, perfectly untouched, picking a grain of rice from her collarbone.
"I'll be filing a complaint with the underworld's food safety bureau."
After School: Trouble Comes in Twos
Back home, Lilith stood at the window with a wine glass, watching the news report about a "minor supernatural incident" at Hoshikawa High.
She sipped her drink.
"She's here," she said softly.
"Who's here?"
Lilith turned to me with narrowed eyes.
"My ex. Succubus royalty. The one who always called me 'Stabby.'"
I blinked. "She's your… what?!"
"She stole my spellbooks, cursed my cat, and made my favorite sword go limp. That's not a euphemism."
I stared at her.
Lilith sipped again.
"She also once tried to seduce my summoner. His name was… Kazuki, I think."
Oh no.
That's my name.
Nighttime: Sanity is a Myth
Lying in bed that night, I thought about:
My demon stepmother declaring war via pancake breakfast
My seductive classmate possibly being a war criminal
The tuna
Also, Lilith left a sticky note on my bedroom door that read:
If she kisses you, your soul might explode. Don't say I didn't warn you. – ♡ L
End of Chapter 3
✅ Call to Action:
🔥 The harem's heating up and so is the fish! What's Ishtar really planning? Will Kazuki survive another breakfast?
💬 Comment your favorite moment!
📌 Don't forget to Add this story to your Library so you don't miss Chapter 4 – where we meet the school nurse… who's secretly a war mage.