In the office building, Yahiko slumped tiredly into a chair, completely exhausted.
At times, he couldn't help but wish he'd paid more attention to his own studies back in school, instead of binge-watching shows and playing games.
These past few days, he had been busy compiling educational materials, his brain constantly running in overdrive as he drew inspiration from the only source he knew: Anime.
All of it was in hopes of preventing more "problem children" like Orochimaru and Obito from emerging in the village.
Was it easy for him?
Not at all. He had to balance things, make sure the kids weren't overwhelmed, yet still guide them to grow into kind-hearted individuals who weren't too naive for the real world.
To that end, he introduced a simplified set of classroom principles inspired by his favorite anime mentors, stuff like "Protect your friends," "Stand up for what's right," and "Never give up."
He even added a collection of heartwarming teacher-student stories to the first-grade textbooks, some drawn straight from his favorite episodes.
Even the prisoners in Impel Down had to reform themselves and learn things, which meant he had to rack his brains to design suitable educational content for them too.
He briefly considered compiling Prison School… but quickly scrapped the idea. That show was definitely not suitable educational material for actual prisoners.
Knock knock knock... came a sound at the door.
"Come in."
Yahiko, still seated, looked over at the visitor.
She wore a light blue paper flower on her head. Her light orange eyes and face were smudged with what looked like soot, probably from cooking.
She was carrying a dull gray ceramic pot in her hands, from which the rich aroma of meat wafted out.
He was momentarily moved, until he noticed a mischievous glint in her eyes.
A bad feeling immediately hit him.
"You're looking for the real me? The original went to the front to discuss business."
"Went to the front to discuss business?"
Konan didn't have the Sharingan, so she had no way to tell if he was lying. She just had to believe him. A shame, she had gone through all the trouble to make chicken soup.
"Well, since you're a shadow clone, you can eat it for him."
Konan set the pot on the table.
"Oh, oh, great!" Yahiko happened to be hungry and reached out to lift the lid.
"So even shadow clones can eat, huh?"
Konan smiled.
Yahiko smiled too.
A moment later, Konan's expression turned soft, nostalgic.
"Now that the village is getting on track, everyone's busy with work. Last night, I was thinking about how we used to rely on each other just to survive. So today, on a whim, I wanted to call you and Nagato for a meal together. But since you're busy, I guess... next time."
Konan wasn't a rough person, quite the opposite. She was very gentle. Her melancholy words stirred a sense of guilt in Yahiko.
Hadn't he promised to protect her since they were kids? How had he ended up neglecting her recently?
"No, I'm free. Nagato's the one who's actually busy. Hm, we don't need to worry about him. Want to go out for a walk?"
"Sure." Konan gave a sweet smile.
After not seeing his friend for a few days, Yahiko was starting to miss him. So he took Konan to visit the Uzumaki clan's settlement.
The village was still in early development, aside from the school and nursing home, both of which he had built through sheer determination, not much else was complete.
The rest, like the houses, were barely livable.
Now, under his encouragement, the Uzumaki were expanding rapidly: more children meant less tax and even financial rewards.
As a result, many clan members began marrying civilians from Yoake.
Since Shuzen had stepped down, Nagato had become the de facto leader of the clan.
Nagato himself was a mix of an Uzumaki woman and a man from the frontlines.
No one had any objections to this, and he would even encourage both the men and women of the clan to go out and socialize more.
However, today, a red-haired little girl had latched onto him.
This tiny thing followed a few steps behind him, looking lonely.
"Nagato-nii..."
The girl clung to him like a little shadow. She wore square-rimmed glasses, was adorably cute, and seemed one or two years younger than Nagato.
To Yahiko, she looked oddly familiar.
"Yahiko, Konan, you're here."
Nagato looked at them with a pained expression. He really didn't care about love and relationships, okay?
Pfft. Yahiko and Konan were stifling laughter.
It was their first time seeing Nagato so flustered.
"Kana! Stop following me! Go home!"
Nagato glared at her, feigning anger.
"Nope."
Kana used a natural Uzumaki sensing technique called Kagura's Mind's Eye, unique to their clan. With it, she could sense if someone had ill intent toward her, or discern whether someone's heart was warm or cold.
Right now, in her perception, Nagato was glowing with a warm red aura from head to toe. Which meant he wasn't actually angry. She leaned closer to him and blinked up at the people across from her.
"Sorry, Yahiko, Konan."
Nagato smiled awkwardly.
He truly didn't know what to do with her. Just because he was handsome, this girl had taken one look and been instantly smitten. Back when they were wandering, it was always Yahiko who got that kind of attention thanks to his face. And now, it was finally his turn.
Honestly? He was kind of excited.
"We won't be your third wheels then."
Yahiko nudged Nagato in the chest with his elbow, grinning mischievously.
He added a little public service announcement: "You guys are still young..."
He still vividly remembered how skinny and frail Nagato used to be.
"Screw you!" Nagato rolled his eyes.
After parting ways with Nagato.
Yahiko and Konan strolled leisurely through the streets, with nothing in particular to do.
Workers were constructing a commercial street based on Yahiko's blueprint.
Clang clang clang... the sounds of tools echoed around.
"That girl is really pitiful."
Yahiko squatted down, watching the dusty street whipped by the wind. Passersby saluted him as they went by.
"Mm." Konan nodded softly.
The golden afterglow of the setting sun bathed the quiet street.
---
The next day, in order to save land for the village, Konan moved into Yahiko's house.
"Time to get up."
At exactly 6:30 AM, she came to his room, drew open the curtains, and opened the window to let in fresh air.
She gently nudged the still-sleeping Yahiko, who drowsily opened his eyes and dragged out a long, whiny "Whaaat~?"
There was a hint of childlike whining in his tone.
"Come eat breakfast. Later you have to go inspect the village and ask the villagers what they need."
Being woken up at 6:30 in the morning, this was inhuman!
Konan used to just scold him once in a while, but now it felt like she was practically riding on his head!
The blanket had to be put out to dry every morning, no snacks were allowed in the room, and the toilet had to be flushed every single time...
And so on.
This whole strict routine was driving him a little crazy.
But hey, better to share the suffering than endure it alone.
The very next day, he used his authority as both village leader and school principal to write those same rules into the school's code of conduct.
Hmm...
Even Hanzō's trick of using salamanders as surveillance cameras, he learned that too.
---
"Takeshi! Kantaro! Gian! You three really give me no peace of mind."
"Acting this naughty, not studying properly, always shouting about wanting to fight in the Great Ninja War, how are girls ever going to like you like that?"
In the village chief's office, three first-grade students stared at Yahiko, who was sipping tea with a serious look on his face and radiating heavy "dad vibes."
Their knees were trembling in fear.
Are we going to get beaten to death by our parents when we get home?
"Alright. I'm just worried for your safety. Take these toads and raise them by your side. Don't you let them die. You'll catch bugs and feed them every day, understood?"
"Yes!"
Yahiko set down his teacup. The three boys immediately nodded like mad.
For each particularly naughty student, he assigned a small toad companion.
Mount Myōboku had no objections, he was offering free internships for young toads to gain experience. Who were they to complain?
Though word had it that Gamabunta and Jiraiya had just had a fight.
Gamabunta claimed that Hiruko was taken away by Minato.
Jiraiya called bullshit.
Minato took Hiruko? How come he didn't know about it?
Turns out that day, Shuzen's Transformation Jutsu fooled even Gamabunta.
He sensed Jiraiya's chakra, but what he saw was Minato. He had even paused for a moment in confusion.
So that day, Minato got blamed for two different things... Naturally, Jiraiya assumed that Gamabunta had killed Hiruko, thinking he was protecting the public from a threat.
After all, Hiruko liked experimenting on small animals, he knew that very well.
Back in the Ninja Academy, they were the two worst-performing students. So, they naturally became friends. And now his friend had been smacked to death?
Today, dressed in tattered clothes and with three broken ribs, Jiraiya was still wandering the land in search of Pain.
With a dead-serious expression, he said, "I will definitely uncover your true identity."
Because of Pain, his life's work, the Icha Icha series, was selling poorly in the market. He couldn't even afford travel expenses to get back to Konoha.
It was all Pain's fault!
So, he must become Pain's student, get close to him, gather intel... And then finish writing a sequel.
Yes, a sequel...
He'd call it: Icha Icha - Fifty Shades of Heaven.