Chapter 99: I Am the Pure-Love Warrior!
[My husband!]
Ash said it straight out without the slightest hesitation.
Seeing that scene on the game screen, Eikou felt a bit guilty and glanced at the people beside him.
Luckily, everyone just treated it like a fun troll game — after all, doctor Ash was just a fictional in-game character, so nobody cared.
And Baobhan Sith happened to have gone back to her room to paint her nails, so she didn't see it either.
"Phew..."
Seeing that, Eikou finally let out a small sigh of relief.
'No way, I'm just playing a Pokémon game, so why the hell do I feel like I'm about to get caught in a shurafield?'
"Wait a sec..."
He suddenly realized a blind spot.
In the game, he had chosen Morgan as his starter — so which Servant would Baobhan Sith pick as her starter in the game?
[What's this, are you interested in my daughter?]
Doctor Ash's voice came from the game screen,
[No problem, just let both mother and daughter join you on your adventure!]
"???"
['Witch of Ash Second Generation (Baobhan Sith)' has become your Servant.]
['Baobhan Sith' has been recorded in your Servant dex.]
What the hell, she actually dragged both mother and daughter along?! So that line "she'll accompany you on your journey" was literal?! Not as a rival, but actually stuffed into a Pokéball to travel with me?!
[Hello trash~?!]
Baobhan Sith in the game greeted him cheerfully.
And again, he couldn't freely choosing his name.
At this point, Eikou completely surrendered — fine, call me whatever you want.
"Sir Eikou, you…"
Gawain didn't even know what to say anymore.
"You've just started the game and already have two Servants. That's way ahead of any beginner Master, but… something still feels off somehow…"
"Heh, what's so strange about that? I skipped all three starters and Pikachu, and went straight to adventuring with both Professor Oak and Gary to conquer the Champion title — that's a totally normal move, isn't it?"
Right after saying that, Eikou sighed.
"Officially starting the game!"
The tutorial had ended, and it was finally possible to leave the starting village.
This whole game was full of suspicious points everywhere. Eikou thought he'd just play a bit to show off the gameplay, then later switch to another game for Artoria and the others.
He pushed the joystick forward, controlling his character to step out of his hometown.
[You have left the town of Camelot.]
[From the moment you step out of this town, you and your Servants will embark on the path to conquering the League Champion title!]
"..."
As Eikou's pixel character was moving, a blonde pixel NPC suddenly appeared in the wild grass — not wearing any clothes.
[You have locked eyes with a naked French Master!]
[Once your eyes meet, it's time to begin a battle between Masters!]
"A naked French Master… could that name possibly be Roland?" — Eikou said.
[The enemy Master has summoned his Servant — Saber-Class Charlemagne!]
[Battle Start!]
…As expected, it was Roland.
If that's the case, then his Servants must be among the Twelve Paladins.
"Saber-Class Charlemagne, huh…"
Eikou studied the opponent's stats carefully, murmuring to himself:
"Then I should send out Archer-Class Baobhan Sith to fight him. If he summons Astolfo or Bradamante, I can have Morgan handle them instead…"
"Sir Eikou, no need to worry about team composition. Just attack randomly and you'll win."
"?"
Before Gawain could explain, Tristan interrupted first:
"Relax, Roland's easy to deal with. He's famous for being the 'newbie's best friend.'"
"Because his Servants are weak?" — Eikou asked curiously.
"No, it's because he has the 'cuckolded' trait. So you have a very high chance of making his Servants betray him and join your side!"
"What kind of cursed trait is that… even in the game he can't escape getting cuck?!"
[You have successfully recruited Charlemagne.]
[Roland has summoned Bradamante.]
[You have successfully recruited Bradamante.]
[Roland has summoned Astolfo — this is his final Servant.]
[You have successfully recruited Astolfo.]
[...]
[Roland, crying, has fled. You receive 1000QP as battle reward.]
"What the hell is this guy even here for…"
Watching the pixelated naked character crying as he ran away in the game, Eikou couldn't help but sigh.
This wasn't a "battle between Servants" anymore — it was clearly just "bullying a poor cuckolded man."
"But still, that battle actually makes me look forward to what's next. If it's possible to 'steal' other people's Servants in battle… I can't even imagine what kind of ridiculous stuff will happen later…"
"Hmph hmph, Sir Eikou…"
Tristan suddenly burst out laughing:
"Now you understand, right? With your 'Lancelot Holy Physique,' you're someone who can do whatever you want in this game!"
"What the hell is a 'Lancelot Holy Physique' supposed to be…"
Eikou couldn't hold it in anymore.
"Don't misunderstand, Tristan. I was just testing the gameplay earlier, I never intended to use underhanded methods to win. A true man should fight honorably! Moreover, I am…"
He suddenly stood up, face filled with dignity, and solemnly declared:
"I am a pure-love warrior!"
"Pff—"
"Ha ha ha ha ha ha!"
"A ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!"
Everyone in the room burst out laughing.
The living room was instantly filled with joyful laughter.
"Why are you all laughing like that? What I just said wasn't a joke!" — Eikou asked, confused.
"Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!"
The group laughed even harder.
You guys… just what kind of person do you all normally think I am!!
"I'm serious, you know!"
Eikou was so furious that his face turned red, unable to stop himself from stomping his foot.
"I'm really a fan of pure-love! I like those innocent love stories between a boy and a girl!"
Just as he was about to put down the controller, so angry that he was ready to roll up his sleeves and argue to the end with the group laughing hysterically —
The controller suddenly started vibrating.
This is… an enemy encounter signal!
[You have been standing still for too long.]
[When you stay in the wild for too long, the chance of encountering evil and high-level criminal organizations will increase significantly.]
[...]
["Last Surprise!" (Enemy encounter music)]
[This is bad, you've been ambushed!]
[The enemies appearing before you are — the most notorious and ruthless criminal organization in this world, the villainous army whose very name makes people tremble in fear!]
[Scathach, Murasaki Shikibu, Zenobia, Yu Ji, Marie Antoinette Alter…]
[It's the "Eikou Club" — an organization with a 100% married woman membership rate, yet not a single Eikou among them!]
[You're surrounded — by nothing but married women.]
[Fight or run?]
"What the hell is this 'Eikou Club' now?!"
Damn it, don't just show up at the worst possible moment! At this rate, even if I jumped into the River Styx, I wouldn't be able to wash away my ruined reputation!!
...