"So, if it's possible, can you... um, Trainer Kitano, keep this a secret for me? I mean, my dignity as the President..."
"Please understand. The name 'Luna'... it's fine in private, but please, in public, try not to tell others..."
Rudolf knew very well that in front of him, she could no longer maintain any shred of "dignity." But the act of maintaining it was necessary. Only in this way would her subsequent "uncontrolled" efforts to close the distance with him seem meaningful.
Only then could her Kitano more directly experience the feeling of gradually walking with her, of her peeling back her "disguise of strength" layer by layer, and personally touching the softest place in her heart.
If she were to lay all her cards on the table now, their relationship would, at best, return to that of their previous life, taking care of Tokai Teio together. Although being Teio's "parents" in that ambiguous way, which would allow him to always stay by her side, seemed nice, her goal was not limited to that.
No matter how much they regarded Teio as their own, she was ultimately not their own child. Besides, the current Teio had not yet recovered her memories; her perception of him was still skewed. Strictly speaking, she was not the "Tokai Teio" that he and she were familiar with.
What she hoped for was that the relationship she would continue with him would start from their "childhood." She would maintain a close relationship with him in the guise of her eleven-year-old self, and then use her current adult identity and status to create the conditions for that closeness.
She wanted to create such an atmosphere—when she was alone with him, she was the willful, affectionate girl from his memory who never hid her feelings for him; and in public, she was the best support who could share his burdens and help him live longer!
From these two angles, she planned to let her childhood friend get to know her again in a true sense. She would show him, without reservation, the feelings and vulnerability she only revealed in front of him, as well as the resilience and strength to do anything for him!
So, at this moment when she could have had a showdown with him and pulled their relationship back to their past life in one fell swoop, she chose to retreat in order to advance—of course, there was also a part of her genuine feelings in this.
After all, their relationship in the previous life was not close enough for him to call her by her nickname. This was actually the first time she had told him her name, "Luna." It was normal to feel a little shy.
But fortunately, she had timed her expression of shyness just right. In his eyes, her coyness was entirely because she was recalling the scene of her hugging him and acting spoiled three days ago—a completely logical shyness.
"It's okay. Everyone has a vulnerable side, President Rudolf. You don't have to be so strong all the time. Venting appropriately is the best way for your body."
And for her behavior of trying to maintain her dignity as much as possible, he did not see through her intentions. Or rather, in his impression, she was never one to win with small tricks. And now that he knew she had recovered her memory, it was even more impossible for him to think that she had any "ill intentions" towards him.
And now, in their private time together, he, looking at this first horse girl to recognize him, and also the first horse girl he had met in his life, also couldn't help but return to the relaxed tone of his previous playthrough, and said softly to the well-aware her in front of him:
"If you faint again, let alone the crying Teio, everyone will also be worried about you, Rudolf. As an adult, what you need to do is not to let the people you care about worry about you. This is the duty of an adult."
"If nothing else, even I may not have the energy to take care of you like this a second time. So, you have to learn to take good care of yourself, Rudolf."
Just like her, he was also, in a way he thought would not be seen through, conveying his true feelings to her. Her coma this time had indeed scared him, especially in conjunction with the scene of him being pushed down by Nakayama Festa and just happening to see the student council curtains being drawn. He had always suspected that it was his and her actions that had provoked her and caused her to faint from anger.
Although his reason told him that this was not very realistic, even if she had recovered her memory at that time, based on her experience with him later on, she shouldn't have been so angry about this as to have a breakdown... but the timing of all this was too precise, so much so that he had to think so.
This time, he still had plenty of time to save her, but next time? Although Festa and Gold Ship would most likely not make him consume his life force to save them from a fracture, who could guarantee there would be no "what if"?
Especially Tokai Teio. Although this time it was also because of Rudolf's secret operation that he had gained lifespan from her victory, he knew very well that the several fractures she would suffer in the future, he would probably, out of soft-heartedness, secretly help her through the difficulties. At that time, the lifespan he had won from her might have to be returned to her in full.
Therefore, he still hoped that such unexpected things could be reduced as much as possible. His lifespan was not much... and it was all based on the premise that he would not have any accidents.
"...Just call me Rudolf. 'President' is a bit too distant."
And his words made her expression soften a lot. Her gaze towards him also turned into the same relieved feeling as in her previous life. The two, who knew each other's hearts, did not say a word about the change in their attitude towards each other, but just looked at each other quietly.
"But... I'm sorry, Kitano. What you described is perhaps too idealistic for me."
Rudolf held a cup of steaming black tea in both hands, looked down at her own reflection in the cup, her tone low, but also revealing a hint of recovered determination as she said:
"I am not just the horse girl Symboli Rudolf. I am also the student council president of Tracen Academy, the next head of the Symboli family, the horse king of Japan... My every word and action is watched by countless people, admired, and even emulated as an idol."
"So, I'm sorry, in front of everyone, I can't be slack for a moment... and that's why I hope you will only call me... um... call me Luna when we're alone."
When she said her nickname, a hint of embarrassment appeared on her face, but she quickly regained her composure. After she had secretly glanced at the silent him, she lowered her head again without a trace and continued to say to herself:
"As for taking care of myself... I'm sorry, you probably can't tell, but my personal life skills are not very good."
"In the past, in the family, there were always maids hired by the Symboli family to help me manage things. In the academy, I also spend most of my time in the student council, with Air Groove helping me with these trivial matters."
"As for the dormitory... actually, when I get back to the dorm, I'm basically so tired that I fall asleep as soon as I take a shower. As for taking care of myself, I really don't have any experience."
"This, I do know a little about."
And for her and C.B.'s similar incompetence in life, he had more or less noticed it in his previous playthrough. Although in the previous playthrough, he had not had much chance to come into contact with her private life, he could still see from the wrinkles on her racing silks and some of her daily details that her personal life was indeed not very particular.
"Then why not send a maid from the family to take care of your life?"
"I can't let everyone think that as the president, I'm getting special treatment, can I?" And she also shook her head with a bitter smile and said with a hint of stubbornness:
"Besides, the horse girls of the Mejiro family have never done such a thing. As the student council president, I naturally can't take the lead."
"But you don't have to worry too much, Kitano. I've been living like this alone for a long time. It's just that recently things have been a bit complicated, and I've been in a bad mood, so I fell ill like this..."
And as if she had seen the change in his expression and felt that the atmosphere had become a little dull, she also turned to show a smile, looked up at him again, her tone a little more forcedly cheerful as she said softly:
"But I'm used to it. And now that Teio's Triple Crown path is on the right track, and there are many horse girls in Tracen who want to challenge the Classic Triple Crown, it's a busy time. I can't slack off yet."
"...Is that so? It's really tiring."
And under her words, the long-silent him finally spoke, his tone also quietly showing a hint of emotion—clearly, this was also the first time he had heard her talk about the pressure she was under.
In the previous playthrough... after C.B. had left him, the only familiar person left by his side was her and Tokai Teio. And at that time, he could still help her with many things. In his impression, the Rudolf he had accompanied was always so at ease. Even a moment of fatigue would be quickly noticed by him and she would immediately get some rest.
But this time... without my company and help, the Rudolf who has walked to this day alone, how tired must she be?
It seems... I don't know her as well as I thought I did. A self-deprecating smile couldn't help but appear on his face. After a moment of emotion, he silently closed his mouth.
He didn't know her life, and he couldn't experience all that she had carried. To hope that she would relax while standing and talking without back pain... it seemed he had really done a wrong thing.
But he should be able to help somewhere. A help that could prevent her from getting so tired, just like in the previous playthrough.
It's just that... he was now carrying the future of so many charges. Even if he wanted to accompany her and help her as before, he was a little short of hands. He had to start from other places to see if he could help her.
Sigh, if only Teio was willing to be his charge. It's a pity that she seems to be very resistant to this matter. Even Rudolf could only secretly sign her to his team. What should I do?
And just as he was at a loss, thinking about where he could help her, and she seemed to have noticed his slightly conflicted expression, the relieved smile she had been maintaining also quietly widened a little.
She knew that her opportunity had come. The opportunity to close the distance with him at once was right in front of her!
"But... sometimes, I still feel very tired."
At this very moment, the recovering him felt a slight force from his sleeve. He saw that at some point, the lowered-head Rudolf, as if having used all her strength, had grabbed his sleeve at this moment, her voice trembling with emotion, as small as a mosquito's as she said in a low voice:
"I also don't want... this posture to be known by more people... sometimes, I still feel tired, sometimes, I still waver..."
"So, can I... ask you for a favor, a small one?"
At this point, her voice was almost too weak to be heard. In the large hospital room, besides her words, there seemed to be only the sound of their accelerated heartbeats. The slightly biting her lower lip Rudolf finally let out a sentence in the softest voice of her life:
"When I feel tired, when I feel I can't hold on... can you let me act spoiled like a few days ago? Let me release all this pressure?"
"Just for ten... no, five minutes is fine... you are the only person I can find now who will indulge me in releasing my emotions like this... can you? Kitano."
"—Of course, Rudolf."
Almost without hesitation, faced with her, who was in a clear state of mind but had said such unprecedentedly weak words, he didn't even have time to think. This childhood friend, who was also anxious to let her reduce her burden, immediately agreed when he heard that he could help her in this way.
Of course, there was also his compassion in this. Seeing her so vulnerable, his heart also couldn't help but soften. He didn't want to refuse the vulnerable request that the strong Rudolf had worked so hard to express.
And once again feeling the warmth from him, Rudolf, who had buried her cheek in his chest on her own initiative, was more docile than ever before. The face buried in his chest, the vulnerable shyness almost instantly disappeared, replaced by that wild smile mixed with pride, joy, and a hint of shyness!
At this moment, she felt that she had "grown up."
The girl who had been trapped in the light of her eleven-year-old self, not daring to take a step into the darkness, finally felt that this light that was shining on her was no longer just a memory... she had finally stepped out of the childhood that had trapped her for so long, and towards the path of the future illuminated by that light... she had taken a new step.
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