Crying had somehow become part of her bedtime routine.
Every night, just before sleep, Kate's tears would slip silently onto her pillow—no sobs, no noise, just pain leaking from the parts of her she tried so hard to keep composed during the day.
By morning, she still felt tired. Not just in body, but in everything. Her chest ached from the weight of holding too much. Her mind buzzed with thoughts she couldn't quiet.
Still, she forced herself out of bed.
She brewed a cup of tea—just something warm to push the emptiness back down. As the kettle hissed, she moved through her apartment like a ghost, absentmindedly placing the cup on a tray and stepping outside into her dying little garden.
The grass was patchy. The plants were wilting. The small wooden table was faded by sunlight and rain.
She sat at the lone chair, the one facing the rusting gate.
The garden was quiet.
Like her.
She sipped the tea slowly, hands wrapped around the mug, letting the heat press into her palms.
She didn't expect anything.
Until she heard it.
A soft tap on the gate.
She looked up.
Her heart stopped.
Frooze.
He stood there—quiet, hands in his pockets, eyes on her. The morning light caught the edge of his tired face.
Her heart leapt in joy. But her body didn't move.
She couldn't.
She just sat there, frozen, staring at him with red, tired eyes. She didn't have the energy to pretend.
He opened the gate gently and let himself in.
He walked slowly toward her, each step heavy with something unspoken.
And then, without a word, he pulled out the chair in front of her and sat.
Like it was just another morning.
Like they hadn't broken.
"Hey," he said, his voice soft.
She blinked. "Hey."
There was silence for a moment. The kind that feels like something's trying to scream beneath it.
"How are you?" he asked.
She wanted to say miserable. Empty. Still bleeding from the wound you left.
But all she said was, "Okay. You?"
He nodded once, slowly. "Trying."
She stared into her tea. The warmth in her hands was fading.
Frooze looked around at the garden, then back at her. "Still peaceful here."
Kate forced a small breath through her nose. "Not really."
He nodded again. Like he knew.
And then… he dropped it.
"I'm leaving."
Her head snapped up. "What?"
He met her eyes. "I stayed up all night. Packed my things. I'm driving to Manila today."
She sat there, stunned.
"I handed over the project to another engineer. I don't want to be here anymore. Wala na rin naman akong dahilan para manatili."
The words hit harder than she expected.
She blinked. "What… what do you mean 'wala ka nang dahilan'?"
Frooze exhaled slowly. He looked tired—like his soul had been drained.
"I mean…" he paused, searching for the right words—words that wouldn't hurt, but knowing they probably would anyway. "I'm overwhelmed, Kate. Pressured. By everything. By this… by the idea that I have to be ready now. That I need to heal now. That I have to move on from my past like flipping a switch."
She stayed quiet.
So, he kept going.
"I didn't plan to commit. To anyone. That wasn't part of my life anymore. I was just trying to rebuild what was left of me."
His eyes dropped to the ground. "Then I met you."
A soft, sad smile flickered on his lips.
"You were… mesmerizing. Your words. Your kindness. The way you understood even the things I couldn't explain. Your patience, your wit. The way you listened even when I was saying nothing at all."
He took a breath, voice dropping.
"For a while, I thought maybe... maybe I could try again. That if I just had more time, I'd get there. I even started making plans in my head. I thought, just hold on… I'll get it right."
Then he looked her in the eye, guilt bleeding through every word.
"But the catch was… how long?"
Her lips parted, but no words came out.
"I thought the boat we were in could stay afloat," he whispered. "But I kept letting water in with every hesitation, every silence, every moment I held back. And then—Claire. Seeing her again… it stirred something in me. Not love. But confusion. Old emotions. Doubts. Ghosts I thought I'd already buried."
His chest rose and fell heavily.
"And that's when I realized—I'm a jerk for giving you half-baked promises. I let you dream for two. I let you risk for both of us while I stood there unsure. And I'm still unsure, Kate."
He looked at her—really looked at her.
"You're ready. Maybe you don't believe it yet. Maybe you keep telling yourself you're not. But you are. You're risking everything. You're showing up. That's what people do when they want something to work."
He stepped back, his voice almost breaking.
"And I'm not that person right now. I wanted to be. But I'm not."
Kate shook her head, tears stinging her eyes. "No. No, you don't get to decide that for me. I'm not ready either. But I chose to stay because I wanted this. I wanted us to figure it out. Together."
Frooze looked away, jaw tight. "But I can't do this, Kate. I thought I could. I really thought this situationship would be enough. That we could just float for a while. Ride the boat until we found steady water. But…"
His voice cracked.
"…hindi ko pala kaya."
He looked at her, eyes filled with regret. "Hinayaan kitang sumakay sa bangkang hindi ko pala kayang itawid. Hinayaan kitang samahan ako… habang palubog na pala."
Kate's lips trembled. "So that's it? You're just… walking away?"
"I'm letting you go before I ruin you."
She slammed her tea down, hands shaking. "You think this doesn't ruin me? You think this isn't hurting me? You showing up and saying goodbye like this?"
Frooze stood slowly.
"I'm sorry."
"I don't want your sorry," she whispered. "I want you."
He looked at her for the last time, heart breaking in silence.
"I can't give you the kind of love you deserve. Not now. Maybe not ever."
She didn't chase him.
She didn't beg.
She couldn't.
She just sat there.
As he turned. As he walked back to the gate. As he slipped out of her garden, out of her life, out of the "almost" they tried to make real.
And when the gate clicked shut, she finally cried again.
Not the silent tears this time.
But the kind that come from the deepest parts of you. The kind you cry when hope walks away with the person you were willing to wait for.
And all she had left now…
Was an empty seat.
And a cup of tea that had long gone cold.
---
Riz didn't even let Kate finish the call.
She heard the sob—raw, broken, like something had been ripped out of her chest—and that was enough. She was out the door before Kate could even hang up. No questions.
No delay. Just slippers, keys, and instinct.
She arrived panting, hair still wet from the shower, and pushed Kate's gate open like it owed her money.
Kate was crouched on the floor near the table outside, hugging her knees, her tea cold and untouched beside her. She looked up with swollen eyes and a trembling lip.
"He's gone," she whispered. "Frooze… ended it. Just like that."
Riz's heart cracked. Not for the guy.
But for the girl in front of her—the girl who always gave her all, always made room in her heart for others, and always ended up the one hurting.
Without a word, Riz sat beside her and pulled her into the tightest hug she could manage.
Kate clung to her like she was the only solid thing left.
They sat there in silence until Riz heard it—the low, rumbling sound of an engine.
They both looked up.
Frooze's car was backing out of the parking space next door.
Kate's breath hitched. Riz could feel her tense up.
He didn't even look back.
Just drove away.
Like none of it happened. Like her heart wasn't still lying there on the damn patio.
"Putangina," Riz muttered under her breath.
Kate gave a weak laugh through her tears. "Riz no—"
"Nope," Riz snapped. "Don't even. Don't you dare defend him. A guy who isn't ready? Dapat pala noong unang chika mo sakin ng about diyan ay namura mura ko na iyong lalaki na iyon! That's such bullshit. You? You're ready anytime, Kate. You just need someone to ask you properly. Someone who's sure."
Kate wiped her eyes. "But I knew what we were. Situationship lang naman—"
"And that's the problem!" Riz stood abruptly, pacing now. "You're the nicest, sweetest butthead in the world, and guys keep toying with that. They keep giving you just enough to keep you there, but never enough to give you peace. Tapos ikaw pa itong naiwan, ikaw pa itong lumulunok ng lungkot. Hindi na sila makakaulit."
She pulled a brown paper bag from her tote and slammed it on the table.
"Nag-Alfonso ako. Alam Kong maaga pa pero fuck that shit, mag-iinom tayo. Tangina ng lalaki na 'yon."
Kate let out a choked laugh. "Riz… alam mo ata on duty na tayo next week sa Manila. Hindi na tayo makaka-relapse kapag nasa hospital na tayo. Kaya ka ba bumili niyan?"
"Exactly." Riz popped the cap with a loud clink. "Kapag duty, duty mode ka na naman. 'Di mo na iiyak 'to. Magpapakabusy ka kahit malungkot, titiisin mo lahat. Tonight, hindi ka magtitiis. Iiyak ka. Mag-iinom tayo. Ibababa natin 'yung sakit, dito mismo sa patio mo. Sa tabi ng dying garden mo. Gagawin nating burial ground ng lalaking 'yon."
Kate snorted. "Dying garden talaga?"
"Oo. Pero bukas bibili tayo ng bagong halaman. Ibaon na natin 'yang si Frooze sa lupa ng bagong pasimula."
They clinked plastic cups.
And for the first time in days, Kate let herself feel not alone.
No solutions. No closure.
Just her best friend, cheap brandy, and a reminder:
She might've lost the guy.
But she still had herself.
And she still had Riz.