It was late at night in the park. There were fewer and fewer people walking and walking their dogs. There were only the two of them in the quiet night.
Sun Yixun drank most of the plum wine in the bottle. As if listening to a joke, he asked Qiu Zining: "You said you really wanted to marry me, but what happened later? When did you stop wanting to marry me?"
Qiu Zining just drank. After drinking the sweet and spicy liquid, she said: "Maybe... it was on your father's 60th birthday... That day you went to the party and I was alone at home. I thought about it and figured it out... I felt that life is still a person in the end, and there is no point in getting married."
Sun Yixun glanced at her nervously and asked calmly, "What happened that day?"
"Nothing, what can happen? I just thought about it and figured it out." Qiu Zining said very calmly.
Sun Yixun was a little relieved, and he looked at Qiu Zining again, "Then do you know when I really wanted to marry you? Although I liked you before, I admit that I was undecided..."
Qiu Zining looked at him and motioned him to continue.
"When we first got together, my mom always let me meet some girls." He lowered his head, as if the person he was talking to was a stone on the ground. "I did chat with her for a few days - but nothing happened! It was just ordinary contact, not even good feelings. If I had to say it, it might just be a slacking off. I always know who I love the most in my heart. It's... always you." Sun Yixun glanced at Qiu Zining and took another sip of plum wine. "But for men, falling in love and getting married are always two different things. Do you know when I made up my mind and thought that I must have you in this life, Qiu Zining?"
"Huh?"
"It was... on the night of my dad's 60th birthday."
That night, after the group finished eating and were going to sing, Sun Yixun remembered Qiu Zining and called her: "Ningning, I'm staying at my parents' house tonight. Come back later tomorrow."
Qiu Zining, who answered the phone, seemed to be on the street, with the wind from Beijing blowing into the receiver, cooling her voice. Qiu Zining, who was always gentle, paused for a moment before speaking, "Okay. I wish you all a good time."
It was a pity that Sun Yixun was not happy that night.
The elders were halfway through singing, and the two juniors felt bored in the tinkling and clanging music. He was tired of being a flower protector, so he simply asked the little girl: "Why don't we run away."
Yuyu smiled at him, moved her body, and put her upper body close to his ear: "I have wanted to run away for a long time!"
The fragrance came to his face, and he could taste her lipstick by tilting his head. Sun Yixun's heart moved, and he lowered his voice: "Then I will accompany you."
Yuyu raised her eyebrows subtly.
He followed Yuyu out of the KTV. The girl was a little shorter than him, and her hair was curled and scattered. Maybe because she was young and returned from studying abroad, she wore cool clothes even in front of the elders. The skin between the two people was only separated by her chestnut hair. The corridor of the KTV is very long. When passing through the doors, the out-of-tune voices of the older brothers and sisters can be heard. The two looked at each other. Inexplicably, Sun Yixun remembered the melody of an old song, called "Only You in My Eyes".
Romance made him dizzy, and he quickly figured out where to go: a private cinema for a midnight show? A drink at a bar? Then... His heart tightened.
Looking at her snow-white arms, he wanted to hold her hand.
After coming out of the revolving door, the dark night fell. This old-fashioned KTV occupied a building alone, with a magnificent facade. Across the wide road were several Lanzhou ramen and Shaxian snacks, and several cars were parked at the door.
Sun Yixun was just reaching for his car keys when he heard a roar of a motor not far away. A BMW M5 stopped beside him, and then a man got out of the car. He was wearing the most ordinary loose shirt and casual pants, with sunglasses on his hair. He was tall and thin. Then, the little girl next to him jumped up to greet him, and the handsome man and beautiful woman stuck together.
Sun Yixun froze in place.
"Brother Sun, this is my girlfriend. My mother doesn't agree, and keeps trying to match us up. Do you think these elders are annoying?" Yuyu introduced him. The man just smiled and hugged Yuyu behind him like a child, and smiled at Sun Yixun with a bit of contempt in his smile: "My baby has troubled you these days, buddy. By the way, we are going to have a midnight snack, do you want to join us?"
"Huh? Hahaha..." He heard himself laughing dryly and replied: "You guys have fun, I have something else to do."
Yuyu turned around and got into the car without looking at him again.
Until the BMW made a sharp turn and drove away steadily and without any attachment, Sun Yixun still stood there motionless. The water on the ground reflected his lost self and the moonlight above his head. The reflection of the moon covered part of his hair, making him look like a lonely, bald father.
At this moment, Sun Yixun suddenly missed Qiu Zining more than ever before.
Men over the age of 25 generally have a skill called admitting defeat. Especially in terms of feelings, they are well aware of the principle of retreating when they know it is difficult. A small number of people who know it is difficult but still do not retreat simply misunderstand that "difficulty" as a trick of playing hard to get. At this moment, Sun Yixun knew that he was thoroughly humiliated. He was not young anymore. The heart that was originally floating because of Yu Yu was stored in the chest again, and he felt more solid than ever before.
He deeply understood a truth: if you want happiness, you should choose a woman who is easier to grasp.
A beautiful woman who can be devoted to him without any effort.
Compared to Yuyu, she is a little older, but, he admits - I don't deserve better.
After a moment of silence, a warm current surged in his heart. He quickly turned around, took out the key from his pocket, unlocked it, and then jumped into his Audi. He stepped on the accelerator and the speed soared. He drove from Miyun to Chaoyang, to the apartment where Qiu Zining was. He drove more anxiously than ever before. A little fear rose in his heart little by little. At first it was just a point, and then the fear began to spread. He shook his head hard, hoping to drive away the fear. At the same time, he stepped on the accelerator again, as if if he slowed down, Qiu Zining would be gone.
The car drove into the gate of the community, and he looked up at the window of his home for the first time. Then his heart was finally stored in his chest -
The lights were on. Ningning was at home.
He remembered that he ran home, pressing the elevator button with his fingers, his heartbeat faster than the floor change. The elevator door creaked and he rushed out. The door lock opened, and finally, at first glance, he saw Qiu Zining sitting at the dining table, with a laptop computer, a cup of hot milk next to the computer, and typing on the screen.
"Ningning." He rushed up and hugged her in his arms: "I miss you so much."
Qiu Zining seemed to be stunned: "Didn't you say you wouldn't come back?"
He didn't say anything, but just hugged her tighter. There was a thumping vibration in her chest, and Qiu Zining noticed that his heartbeat was very fast. She thought for a while and patted his shoulder as a comfort.
When Sun Yixun finished his shower and went into the bedroom that night, he seemed to find something different at home - Qiu Zining's two 24-inch suitcases were originally placed on top of the wardrobe from the inside out, but now they were placed from the outside in; and Qiu Zining's clothes in the wardrobe also changed, from neatly stacked to a messy pile. It was as if someone took them out in a hurry and stuffed them back in.
But the man just shrugged and didn't bother to care about these details.
Soon, some changes happened at home. For example, two months later, Qiu Zining earned his first pot of gold in his life.
When Qiu Zining excitedly told Sun Yixun that several businessmen had found him, Sun Yixun didn't take it too seriously. However, when Qiu Zining said a few days later that he would take him out for a big meal after receiving his advertising fee, he faced a fact:
Qiu Zining seemed different.
Although Sun Yixun couldn't tell what had changed about her, she still got up early to make breakfast for the two of them, cleaned the house, and cleaned the toilet, and was still gentle and obedient to him. But if there was something different, the books in the house gradually increased like cockroaches, from occasionally finding one to later all over the floor. She spent more and more time buried in front of the computer. Several times he woke up at midnight and found that there was no one on the bed beside him, and Qiu Zining was sitting on the dining table in the living room, writing furiously. It was probably luck and hard work that Qiu Zining took the opportunity that came by chance. She soon signed a contract with MCN and had a professional team to cooperate in the operation. There were more and more trial products sent by advertisers at home, from small-brand shampoo, makeup, laundry detergent, face towels, to all-cotton four-piece sets, and even one day, the family received a TV.
When the courier knocked on the door with a TV, Sun Yixun was cooking in the kitchen. As Qiu Zining became busier and busier, he also began to try to take on some housework. On some working days when Qiu Zining worked until midnight, the person who got up early to cook became Sun Yixun, and the loose old T-shirt that Qiu Zining wore every day was worn by Sun Yixun again. He looked at the huge TV, confused: "This... Ningning, our house can't fit it."
"Then send it to your parents." Qiu Zining said lightly.
That weekend, Sun Yixun once again carried a TV and a robot vacuum cleaner home. His mother, who came to pick him up, couldn't help but look at the passenger seat a few times before asking, "Where's Ningning? She didn't come again?"
"She has business this month and seems to be going to Hangzhou."
Sun's mother nodded slowly, looked at the TV, quickly glanced at the brand and size of the TV, frowned and said, "So many bags again this time... Hey... I've said it's enough to just come, why so many things? And..." She got closer to Sun Yixun: "How much money does she make now? I searched her Weibo yesterday, and the number of fans is almost 1 million now? So amazing!"
Sun Yixun touched his head: "How do I know? Anyway, she must be busier than me... She doesn't sleep for a few hours a day, and she studies hot topics and analyzes data every day. Whenever the data is a little worse or the number of fans is less, she can't sleep all night, and she tosses and turns and sighs."
Sun's mother: "You work too hard. You Look, she's a strong woman now! Family matters are settled earlier, making money and having good conditions, so it's just right to have a child earlier. "
Sun Yixun was silent for a moment: "I'll talk about it when I get back."
"Talk about it again?! If you delay it any longer, she'll still want you?! The initiative of proposing marriage is in the hands of men. I wasn't proactive enough before. That was because we didn't know each other well enough at that time, but now, I really think our Ningning is a very good child. You see, she has a high income from work, so she's more responsible for the outside world, and I found that she doesn't want to work in the office, so isn't it just right for her to work at home and take care of the child? In the future, she can also take on some promotions for baby products, and the child will have more diapers than she can use up. "
Sun Yixun pulled the corner of his mouth and retorted: "Now you know she's good?"
"What do you mean now?" Sun's mother glared: "I've said she's good a long time ago."
Sun Yixun glanced at Sun's mother and said word by word: "Yes. She's always been very good."
The summer night breeze was a little cold. The moon was invisible, and there were no stars in the night of Beijing. Sun Yixun and Qiu Zining sat at the two ends of the bench. If people just walked by, they would mistakenly think that these two people were just tired of visiting the park and temporarily shared the seats. "I have something I haven't told you..." Thinking of this, Sun Yixun took another gulp of wine: "Just a few days before you moved out, I often came home very late. Maybe the reason you wanted to break up at that time was because you felt that I, I didn't do well, thought I didn't care about you enough... or thought I had other ideas... But in fact, it wasn't. During those days, I went to find a proposal planning company..." Qiu Zining was stunned and quickly stopped him: "Don't say it." "I bought a ring. It's not particularly expensive. Tens of thousands of yuan... You make a lot of money now, I guess you don't like it... But I really..." Sun Yixun reached into his pocket and fumbled around, saying: "When you first moved out, I thought you were being petty, you know, and then I wanted to find you, I took the ring and looked everywhere for your place, checked your Weibo and public account every day, to see if you sent your location... I have been wondering why? Why did you move out just like you said you would, do you not love me anymore? Ningning, you need to give me a reason to break up, do you stop loving me just like you said you don't love me?" His voice became more and more choked. "Don't look for the ring, don't give it to me. It doesn't belong to me." Qiu Zining said solemnly.
Sun Yixun's hand paused, and then he realized that he had lost his composure. He sniffed and took another sip of wine: "I was impulsive just now. So? Qiu Zining, we have been separated for so long, can you tell me the reason for breaking up?"
"Do you really want to hear it?"
"Otherwise? You have to give me a definite answer." He smiled bitterly, "I have been wondering if I did something wrong. You know, I think about it every day, I can't sleep well at night, and I think of you when I lie down on that bed. I toss and turn thinking that if I had done better at the beginning, would you not leave..."
"Because I don't love you. Sun Yixun." Qiu Zining interrupted his confession, "The reason for breaking up is because I have never loved you."
The air was quiet for a long time. It was not until a moment later that Sun Yixun murmured and repeated: "Because you have never loved me. Because you have never loved me."
Qiu Zining nodded, "That's my answer. I'm sorry, Sun Yixun."
"...Is that so." He suddenly laughed out loud and rubbed his eyebrows, as if he accepted the result at once. He quickly said, "You, you should have said it earlier. Oh, you didn't say it earlier, really, Qiu Zining, you delayed me for so long, you should have told me on the day you moved, you know, you said Sun Yixun I don't love you at all, and then you left, the door closed, snap! I would have stopped there directly, right, and then I would have blind dates and do whatever I should do, don't you think, you should be more efficient, you shouldn't have delayed me for so long..."
Qiu Zining pulled the corner of his mouth to accompany him.
Sun Yixun thought of something again and asked her in a relaxed tone: "Hey, what about other boys, don't you love them either? So, after being with me, those men you occasionally meet, do you love them? Or as a woman, have you ever loved anyone?"
Qiu Zining shook her head: "No. But being in love is a good experience. Just like playing script-killing games and hiking, you don't love the mountain, but the process. The essence of your love is yourself at that time. Just like... I was with you before, maybe I liked the room where we got along..."
"Not Qiu Zining, I regret it, you know?" Sun Yixun interrupted her abruptly, and the emotions that suddenly surged up made him Somewhat exasperated, "I'm like the farmer and the snake. I took you in when you were at your worst. Now that you're fine, your wounds have healed and your wings have hardened, you bit me back, and I kicked me away without looking back. Qiu Zining, you're. Heartless."
This made Qiu Zining laugh. She turned her head and looked at him, "Sun Yixun, no snake will diligently do housework for you. I mopped the floor for you for a year, and washed your underwear and socks for you for a year. Am I a snake? I'm also Bai Suzhen! I quit my job at that time to take care of you at home. You were bitten by a snake? Really bitten? You gained ten pounds in a year!"
"Those ten pounds have gone back now! I haven't even eaten for half a month.
I have no appetite. "
"That's perfect, I can find a new partner with full energy."
"Find another partner? I'm over 30 now, where can I find a new partner? Is it you, a fucking emotional blogger, who keeps shouting on the Internet all day long - beware of older single men, older single men are fucking shits, is it you, a person like you, who slanders me? You want me to find a new partner now? Where can I find one? If you don't want to marry me, you should have said it earlier, you come to waste my time, isn't a man's youth youth?"
"Oh, men are more valuable as they get older. How can I waste your time? I'm giving you credit."
"Crash? I'm fucking saving money, bloggers are different, I let you say everything. "Sun Yixun snorted and took another sip of wine.
It was dark, and the vague street lights could only reveal the outlines of the two people. The wine bottle reflected the moonlight. Sun Yixun could see the chain on Qiu Zining's neck, shining brightly. And Qiu Zining could see Sun Yixun's eyes, which were brighter than the wine bottle.
"So, it's over for the two of us, right? Qiu Zining?" After a while, Sun Yixun asked again.
"..." Qiu Zining paused before answering: "Yes."
He sniffed and asked again: "Why?"
Qiu Zining smiled bitterly: "Didn't I tell you the reason? I don't love you, I have never loved you. Maybe what I love is just that apartment. You see, what a superficial person I am."
Sun Yixun also laughed, "Yes, look at you. Look at me, I have to ask again." He patted his thigh and shook his head, "Fuck, I have to ask again. "
Qiu Zining did not speak.
The night covered their figures. The park seemed particularly quiet tonight. There was no one around. Not far away was a rubber track, dark. A little further away, there were a few blurry running figures. In the jungle behind him, there were bursts of cicadas.
Qiu Zining's phone rang. She took a look, pressed it, hesitated for half a second, and said to Sun Yixun: "Then, I have to go."
Sun Yixun looked at her figure and hurriedly stood up, but it seemed that he stood up too hard. He squatted on the ground all of a sudden, and there was a dull pain in his chest, as if a drumstick was hitting hard, knocking his heart to pieces. One sound after another.
He covered his chest and smiled bitterly.
"What's wrong with you?" Qiu Zining walked forward and asked.
But before he took a step, he was stopped by Sun Yixun: "Don't come over." He said, "No, it's okay, just a little pain in the chest. I don't know what's wrong. "
He raised his eyes, shining in the night. The darkness hid his embarrassment well. He said, "Okay, okay, you talk too much nonsense, go away. I won't bother to care about you anymore."
Qiu Zining said okay.
When she turned and left, there was a faint rustling sound behind her. Sun Yixun moved his body and sat on the bench. She didn't look back and continued to move forward. Pretending not to hear the sound of his nose twitching when he breathed behind him.
Then, just when she was about to leave Sun Yixun's sight, the person behind her shouted again, "Qiu Zining!"
She stopped.
"I'm telling you! You'll never be happy! You'll never find your true lover! You heartless woman! I'm telling you! Starting tomorrow, I will forget you immediately. I'm in love! I'm looking for a partner! I'll post my invitation on Weibo, send it to your T mailbox, and tag you! You'll show it to me when the time comes! "
Qiu Zining did not move, but stood there. After a while, she turned her head and looked at Sun Yixun's face: "Yes. You are right."
She suddenly remembered a night in Huamao Apartment. It was snowing in Beijing at that time. Sun Yixun came back from get off work and brought roasted sweet potatoes and candied haws. In the warm living room, the cold air on Sun Yixun's coat was steamed into water vapor. Outside the transparent French windows, there were thousands of lights in Beijing. That night they made an appointment to eat hot pot at home together, and the prepared soup pot was bubbling.
Just then, Qiu Zining's cell phone rang. She took off her apron, looked at the phone, and said to Sun Yixun excitedly: "Wow! It seems that a business has contacted me."
Sun Yixun didn't care. He picked up a chopstick of mutton and put it in the pot. He said to her: "Don't be a liar again. Why do you bother to toss around every day? Isn't it good for us to live our little life in this house peacefully? "
Qiu Zining didn't respond, but pursed her lips.
At that time, she answered in her heart: "No, Sun Yixun, I don't want to live a peaceful life with you. In this life, I want to be rich and powerful."
...
The summer night breeze blew across Qiu Zining's face. She took a last look at Sun Yixun, and her voice was very soft, but very clear: "You will find your lover. As for me, I will die alone. This is my choice, and I deserve it. "