Esmae I'll let you know something that I've yet let anyone else know, to me love's purest form is self sacrifice. I know that love to everyone is different, I've seen and accepted love in all its form. I understand that it's good to be selfless but self sacrifice is too much, but to me self sacrifice is the most beautiful form of love.
Of course I'm not encouraging you Esmae, besides I wonder what kind of love do you want and crave most? Self sacrifice means willingly doing anything and everything for someone even if they would never know your efforts, even if you will go unthanked. Self sacrificial love is bitter sweet, its sweet because its bitter and its bitter because its sweet.
In truth I see myself as that type of person, I've never been in a romantic relationship until now but as much as I am curious, I also dread the day I fall head over heels for someone. It is because I know that I am a hopeless romantic and if I ever fall in love I would turn into a fool. So if the object of my affection is cruel, my rationality although still intact will be ignored, my heart will make foolish decisions that I will act upon.
Love have always been something I feed on, the good, the bad, the pretty, the ugly. I have always consumed love, stories about found families, first crushes, toxic obsession, passion for the arts, admiration of a role model, friendships, a place of belonging etc. In fact I come up blank when thinking if there is a story I've read without love.
I believe love is something that inspires you to feel alive, hence why in stories no matter how much I enjoy the world building or plot, the characters is the most interesting. The best thing about characters is their relationships and conflicts, be it internal or external.
I hope to see you next page, read on Esmae.