Chapter 3: Cave Sweet Cave (Not Really)
"So, this is it. The world-famous Afghan cave. Or, as I like to call it, 'My new, very exclusive, five-star all-inclusive resort, complete with complimentary sand, excellent ventilation (via gaping holes in the ceiling), and a charming rustic decor.' I mean, who needs a concierge when you have armed guards who definitely don't appreciate sarcastic remarks? And the Wi-Fi? Non-existent. Seriously, how am I supposed to stream old episodes of 'The Office' when I'm stuck in here? This is a human rights violation, I tell you. A goddamn human rights violation."
The journey to the Ten Rings' mountain base was as unpleasant as Alex had anticipated, which, given his foreknowledge of dusty, cramped trucks and armed captors, was saying something. The air inside the truck was thick with the smell of sweat, fear, and something vaguely metallic, probably dried blood. When they finally arrived, he was unceremoniously shoved out, his bound hands still aching, and pushed into the dimly lit cavern.
The cave was exactly as he remembered it from the movies: rough-hewn rock walls, makeshift electrical wiring strung precariously across the ceiling, the oppressive hum of a generator, and the constant, watchful eyes of the Ten Rings guards. And there, already set up at a rudimentary workbench, was Tony Stark, looking surprisingly disheveled but still radiating that unique blend of genius and 'I'd rather be anywhere else' energy.
"Ah, Tony. My favorite genius billionaire playboy philanthropist. Looking a little less playboy, a little more 'hostage chic,' wouldn't you say? Don't worry, buddy, in about a week, you'll be rocking the whole 'bearded mad scientist' vibe. Very in right now, trust me."
Alex was shoved into a small, isolated section of the cave, roughly separated from the other captives by a tattered canvas sheet. The guard who pushed him, a stern-faced man with a perpetually unimpressed expression, grunted something in Pashto that Alex assumed meant "stay put or die," and then left him to stew.
He immediately turned his attention to Yinsen, who was already meticulously sorting through a pile of salvaged scraps – wires, resistors, some truly questionable looking batteries. The man had an aura of calm resilience that Alex found both inspiring and utterly baffling.
"Hey," Alex whispered, keeping his voice low, "You Yinsen, right? The… uh… the doctor?"
Yinsen, startled, looked up, his kind eyes assessing Alex with a mixture of surprise and curiosity. "Yes. And you are?"
"Alex. Alex Kane. And if you're wondering why I'm here, I'm pretty sure it involved a very confused truck driver and a seriously messed-up GPS. Or maybe it was just karma for all those times I rewatched 'Iron Man' and snarked at the screen."
Yinsen's lips twitched, a hint of a smile. "Karma. Right. Well, it seems karma has a strange way of introducing people."
"See? Even in a cave, I'm charming. It's a gift. Mostly, it's a defense mechanism, but let's go with 'gift' for now. Also, pretty sure 'karma' is not the word for 'sudden, inexplicable transmigration into a death trap,' but hey, potato, potahto."
Alex spent the next few hours observing, his mind racing. He needed to get his hands unbound. He needed to make himself useful enough not to be executed, but not too useful that they'd keep him around indefinitely for his dazzling wit. And he needed to figure out how to leverage this "Mischief System" beyond giving people vague feelings of unease.
He noticed a loose piece of wire protruding from the rough-hewn rock wall near his makeshift cell. It was thin, frayed, but maybe, just maybe, it could be used. He subtly started working his bound wrists against the wire, the sharp edges digging into his skin, ignoring the growing discomfort. This was going to take a while.
A new system notification, this one more urgent, popped into his mind's eye.
[Mischief Mission: "Subtle Sabotage - Disrupt the flow of materials to Stark's workbench without detection."]
[Target: Raza (Primary Guard)]
[Reward: D-Rank Skill - "Basic Engineering Intuition (Partial)"]
[Hidden Objective: "Instill a sense of baffling incompetence in Raza."]
"Oh, now you give me a mission! And 'basic engineering intuition'? Is that like knowing how to properly fold a paper airplane? Or, like, knowing which end of a hammer to hit with? Because I'm going to need a lot more than that to get out of here. But hey, a skill is a skill. And 'baffling incompetence'? My middle name."
He looked around. Raza, the burly guard from the truck, was currently leaning against a rock, seemingly bored, occasionally glancing over at Tony with a suspicious glare. Alex needed to get close to the supplies, which were piled haphazardly near the main entrance of the cave.
He decided to play the part of the confused, overwhelmed captive. He started to cough, a dry, rattling hack that was mostly faked, but felt disturbingly real given the dusty environment. He slumped against the wall, trying to look as weak and pathetic as possible.
"Water!" he croaked, barely audible. "Please... water..."
Raza, predictably, ignored him. Alex upped the ante. He started to groan, louder this time, clutching his stomach dramatically. "Oh, god, my stomach… I think that goat meat was… undercooked. Or perhaps it was just the profound sense of impending doom. Hard to tell, really, when you're this dehydrated."
This got Raza's attention. He stalked over, scowling. "Silence! Or I cut your tongue!"
"You misunderstand," Alex wheezed, doing his best impression of someone on the verge of expiring. "It's not me. It's… it's the goat meat. It's cursed. It wants… to unleash… vengeance." He threw in a few shudders for good measure, trying to project a sense of superstitious dread.
Raza looked genuinely confused for a moment, then scoffed. But Alex had planted the seed. The guard returned to his post, but a flicker of unease crossed his face. Mission, however subtly, accomplished. He'd made him think.
Later, when the guard's attention was diverted by a radio call, Alex, through sheer willpower and a surprising amount of contortion, managed to work the wire loose from the wall. He then painstakingly used it to pick at the knots of his rope bindings. It took what felt like an eternity, his fingers cramping, the wire digging into his flesh, but eventually, with a soft snap, one of his hands came free.
"Freedom! Or, well, 'half-freedom.' Like buying a 'buy one get one free' pizza, but only getting one slice. Still, it's a start. Now, about that basic engineering intuition. Can it tell me how to build a fully functional espresso machine out of sand and despair? Because that would be super helpful right about now."
With one hand free, he quickly untied the other. He flexed his fingers, a silent victory dance. Now, to get to the materials. He waited for another opportunity, another distraction. When Raza and another guard were engrossed in a tense conversation, Alex, moving with surprising stealth, slipped out of his section. He was almost a ghost in the shadows, a skill he hadn't known he possessed, but one he was quickly learning to appreciate. He subtly picked up a small, crucial component – a power coupling – from a pile of electronics destined for Tony's workbench and slipped it into his pocket. Just one piece. Enough to cause a delay, but not so much that it would be immediately noticed.
He quickly returned to his spot, resuming his pathetic act just as Raza glanced over. The guard narrowed his eyes, a flicker of suspicion, but Alex just coughed weakly again.
[Mischief Points Earned: 20 (Raza - Baffled & Suspicious)]
[Skill Acquired: D-Rank - "Basic Engineering Intuition (Partial)"]
A small, internal victory. He had a skill. He had unbound hands. And he had a plan. This cave might be hell, but he was going to turn it into his own personal playground.