How do you kill a dragon?
Konrad still couldn't come up with a simple answer.
Lost in thought, he marched his men-at-arms to the salt mines, getting more and more nervous along the way. Was there even a way?
Sure, Lily dealt with one bare-handed—but his number one haremette wasn't from this world.
On this plane of existence, dragons were the peak life forms.
Strong, cunning, with incredible magic and resilience, not to mention their shapeshifting abilities. So why was Maple so stupid to reveal herself and cause him trouble?
"You are so serious about this," Lily giggled, locking her arm in his as they walked.
"I hate being the focus of attention," Konrad groaned. "All I wanted was to control my own life, learn magic and take it easy. Now I'm a noble with the king's sister always on my back."
"So what?" the ginger asked. "Tell her the truth about Maple."
He let out a long sigh, thinking of a thousand reasons why that was a bad idea.
From politics through their pacts with the local deities, and his mission—
"How did you even survive until now, telling everyone that you're a demonic sorcerer?" he asked instead, his interest genuine. "There's Maou Midori, the inquisition, and—"
"None of them could hold a candle to my greatness," Lily blurted out before he could finish.
Which was so outrageous, it had to be true.
And yet, not even her own not-brother had any idea about her true nature.
"Part of the plan," the girl chirped with a mischievous grin. "Ever heard of the boy who kept yelling wolf? It's like that. Nobody believes it. You thought I was some lunatic, too, didn't ya?"
"Guilty as charged," Konrad sighed, feeling her squeezing him.
"Well, I ain't," Lily scoffed, offended by her own success. "I could kill Maple, no sweat."
He tried to free his arm, but her grip felt like a vice.
"I don't actually want to kill her," he clarified, in case it wasn't obvious.
Not to the demoness, but for the dragon screaming inside his head.
"Can pretend it, too," Lily smirked, finally loosening her hands.
She came along to heal the wounded if the goblins got out of hand. But had she done more than that, Konrad would've traded his dragon problem for a demon one.
"Not ideal," he said. "Best would be if people thought I dealt with her, or forgot her altogether"
"You said you hate attention, but this would draw a lot," she pointed out.
Which was fair, but the alternative was—
"Imagine people hearing that a demoness from another world killed a dragon in my domain. Not exactly the best advertisement," Konrad shot back. "The king's already after me."
"What's this about?" Welf asked, catching up to them.
They all marched on foot, Gabrielle taking her carriages back home, and the road was long.
Their formation remained loose, leaving him plenty of space for private conversations.
"Haven't seen you this nervous since freeing the Black Rivers," the blacksmith noted. And he was damn right. "These are goblins. It'll be fine. Unless—you aim for something bigger?"
Konrad had to remind himself that he couldn't read his mind.
And yet, Welf had him figured out already.
He let out a nervous laugh, then a long sigh, considering how much to tell him.
"How would you kill a dragon?" he asked instead, his voice low.
Welf looked at him as if it were the dumbest question, then at Liliske, and started to laugh.
"I wouldn't," he said. "I'd run like hell, hoping it wouldn't bother with small fry like me."
Which was the normal human reaction.
He did know that Maple was a dragon, though.
"Is this about her?" The blacksmith nodded towards the sky. Beyond the clouds, she was circling above, but Konrad more or less managed to block her out of his mind by now.
It was a new spell he experimented with, courtesy of Lily, whose magic differed from his—
But when it came to keeping his distance from the dragon, she was more helpful than ever.
"Yes, and about your girlfriend's insistence that I'd deal with her."
"Helena's?" Welf asked, his face reddening a bit. "Yeah, well, a hostile dragon would be devastating for the kingdom. But you could tell her she's fine—"
"She's not," Lily interjected.
Never mind that she was going back on her own earlier idea.
"Let her think she's dead," she advocated now. "And then have that idiot hide underground, as far from us as possible, unless we need her for some reason."
"I don't get what beef you have with her," Konrad noted. "And keep changing your mind, too."
Lily stopped, crossing her arms, and raised her upturned nose.
"I'm a woman," she stated the obvious. "It's my fundamental right to change my mind every two seconds. And so is to be jealous of any weirdo dragon who tries to copy my looks."
"Knew it," Welf said it—in unison with Konrad.
They both laughed, but cut it off soon when confronted with the little ginger's glare.
"I love you," he blurted out to pacify her. "But didn't you say I should have a harem? Mind you, you're the only one I need, or I've been with—so far."
She blushed, pouted, then glared again, in this order.
"Idiot," she then scoffed. "So far, you say? What was that kiss with Eyna the other day?"
It was now Konrad's turn to blush.
"Unexpected, if anything," he mumbled, met with Welf's raised eyebrow.
"And you wouldn't kick her out of your bed if she made the same advances as I do." Lily didn't ask a question; she was matter-of-fact. "Nor would you with Gabby or the necro-girl, or Maple."
"Well, um—"
"Damn, someone has a good life. And all you do is complain," Welf laughed, slamming him on the back. If they put it that way, he sure was lucky, but the reality was different.
'Or is it?' Maple's annoyed thoughts got through his blocking spell.
It was far from foolproof yet.
"Anyway," he decided to change the topic before things got out of hand. "I still need a method that'd make it believable that I slayed a dragon. Without actually killing her."
He had to add that second part because the dragon in question was getting noisy again.
A headache was the last thing he wanted right now—before a battle with the goblins.
"Why not go with Welf's suggestion?" Lily asked with a smug smirk.
Konrad didn't understand.
"His suggestion was to run away," he pointed out. "How would that—"
And then his brain caught up.
"Oh, you're a genius."
He had an army with him. And an actual dragon.
Have them meet within the tunnel, and retreat—
"They don't have to witness me actually doing the deed," he muttered. "They only need to know there is a dragon, then that it's dead. Let them come up with their own theories—"
'Yeah, genius,' Maple's thoughts mocked him. 'There is only one teeny-tiny problem with this.'
"What?" Konrad asked it out loud, drawing some attention.
'I'm a freaking dragon,' she said, as if he didn't know. 'Which, you said, is the peak of what this world has. Dead or alive, I am worth a fortune. Every part—so they'd want the corpse.'
"Fuck." He slammed his forehead. "Actually killing her might be easier."