Naruto grinned devilishly. Oh, this was gonna be good! He had scoped out the Akimichi food house earlier and everything was prepared. If all went well, he'd be home free before 3PM and no-one would be any wiser! He almost let out a cacophony of evil laughter to suit the mood but instead settled for a quiet giggle.
It wouldn't do for him to be caught, right?
Over the last year or so, Naruto had been learning a few ninja techniques. He had managed to draw on his chakra and Jiji had taught him the leaf hovering control exercise. He hadn't fully mastered it yet, but he could move his chakra to most parts of his body. His feet, however, were still unable to hold chakra, but Jiji had said that it was the hardest point to focus Chakra in the body. He had also managed a decent Henge and could pull the Kawarimi no Jutsu off flawlessly. No matter how hard he tried though, he couldn't do the Bunshin no Jutsu.
'Ah well, practise makes perfect!' And with that, he focused Chakra to his legs and leapt off the building that he had been sitting on. It was close to noon and most of the Akimichi clan would be out at their favourite places of repast and so this was the best time for him to carry out his self-appointed mission. As he ran and jumped the small distances between the roofs of the Konoha buildings, he couldn't jump very far yet, so he had to settle for jumping to the nearest building each time, he pondered on why the Sandaime wouldn't teach him any more than the 3 Jutsu he had been practising for the last year.
'Yeesh! The Jutsu he gave me aren't very fun. Look at the amount of work I have to do to make them interesting!' Truth be told, he was enjoying himself, but the true joy came after the deed, or so they say. Naruto was one to agree.
Landing on the street floor once again, he quickly hid himself on the nearest house corner he could find. Usually the Akimichi were so focused on getting to their meals that they didn't pay any attention to their surroundings. No, the main problem was getting into the clan house. He would have to make sure that he wasn't caught then!
Checking that the coast was clear, he ran as fast as his 5 year old legs could take him, through the hustle and bustle of one of Konoha's finer marketplaces. The sound of yelling and advertisement reached his ears as he pounded down the cobblestone street, keeping a wary eye out for anyone acting suspicious. He nearly snorted at that; if anyone was acting suspicious, it was him!
As he cleared a large crowd of villagers who were waiting their turn at one of the more upstanding restaurants, he sighted the Akimichi clan house ahead. It was a modestly large building, nowhere near as big as say, the Uchiha or Hyuuga estates, and was decked out in reds and browns. The mahogany and maroon doors stood large and imposing, with the Akimichi's trademark swirl painted smoothly on each side. No matter, he definitely was not going through the front!
Stopping close to the front of the house, Naruto made his way down a side alley and spied exactly what he was looking for. There was a pile of delivery crates stacked almost as high as the first floor, very close to a window. Deftly scaling the boxes, he reached for the latch of the window, but his 5 year old body was not quite large enough to bridge the distance. Naruto leaned over and just as the pile was about to fall, sprang to the window ledge and unlatched the window. This was careless security, having a latch on the outside of a house, but then again the Akimichi thought they had nothing to hide.
Oh how wrong they were.
Just as Naruto found himself inside a sparsely furnished room, he encountered his first obstacle of his 'sort-of' mission. The crates had leaned too far over and had crashed to the ground. Ducking his head, he waited for the response of the villagers.
"What was that?" He heard the pattering of running feet and then silence.
"Ah, the crates fell over. Must've been a cat! No matter, we'll inform Chouza as soon as he gets back, they may need them for a delivery later after all" Naruto listened intently as the voices moved away. He almost chuckled again. Little did they know that the crates were the least of their problems. He had to move quickly though, wouldn't want those idiotic villagers telling the fatsos before he was clear of this place.
Padding over to the only door in the room, he cracked it open and peeked out. He was just outside some kind of hallway on the first floor, but he needed to get to the basement. Hopefully there wasn't anyone lounging around downstairs.
Silently he moved out once again, this time keeping on his tiptoes and sticking close to the walls. He found the stairs at the end of the hallway and silently slipped down to the ground floor. Luckily for him, the stairs to the basement led directly off the ground floor, so he didn't hesitate.
Reaching the ground floor, he shook with silent laughter as he looked upon his objective: The Akimichi cutthroat special, a recipe of great culinary importance that every Akimichi knew by heart. Standing on the dresser, were several bowls of the delicacy just waiting to be eaten by any of the Akimichi who would be eating lunch at home today. Silently he crept over to the veritable stash and pulled out a black and crimson bottle of 'Mukar's Legendary Chilli'. Oh this was going to be good!
Liberally emptying the contents into each bowl, he screwed the cap back on and made ready to leave. Just as he reached the top of the stairway of the first floor, he froze. He had been caught.
Like a rabbit caught in headlights, he bolted for the same room he had come in from. The round-bellied Akimichi that stood in front of him, decked out in a sort of green Samurai armour, bellowed and made to follow. Naruto slammed all his weight into the door, but was left dazed as the Akimichi scrambled up the stairs. Naruto, in his brief glance back, noticed a Konoha headband tied around the right bicep of the clinically obese ninja.
'Darn! At least a genin then', Naruto slammed his frame into the door another 3 times before the ringing in his head caused him to stop. The Akimichi almost upon him, he had an epiphany.
'The Handle!' Turning the handle quickly, the door opened inwards and Naruto collapsed into the room, slamming the door shut after him.
"HAHA fatty! You'll never catch me! Learn to climb over your belly before you try the stairs!" He yelled at the door and then sprinted to the window. This time he had no inhibitions. Wrenching the latch open, he dived out, onto the fallen pile of delivery crates that splintered as he hit them, yet cushioned his fall. As he moved to stand up, he felt and heard the door to the first floor room explode, large chunks of the previously solid wooden entrance shooting out of the open window and impacting with the wall of the neighbouring building.
"HOW DARE YOU CALL ME FATTY? I'M NOT FAT, I'M BIG-BONED YOU RAT! WHEN I GET YOU I WILL PULVERISE YOU!" Well that didn't sound too good to Naruto so he brushed himself off and made for the alleyway exit.
'Uh-oh. That is not good...' Having underestimated just how big the gap in skill a Genin had over him, Naruto had expected the massive ninja to take a few more seconds to get out the window, but alas the Akimichi was faster than his expansive girth portrayed. He stood at the front of the alley with his limbs akimbo, which made for a frightening sight due to the imposing chubby belly hanging loosely from the front of the ninja's armour. If only he could regulate his chakra to his feet it would be far more effective than just bolstering his leg muscles. It was just typical that the Genin knew the one skill that would give him the advantage in such a situation.
As the adrenaline in his system roared through his veins, Naruto smiled. At least this guy wouldn't recognise him with the ridiculous get-up he had on. He had ditched his white T-shirt and black pants for dark blue hose-pants and a jet black sweatshirt. Wrapped around his head was a black scarf that hid his face up to his eyes and along with the open bandana he had covering his hair, he was sure that no-one could recognise him as the blond anathema that was Uzumaki Naruto. And anyway, he had the Henge as his last resort, which he was planning on using, but right now he needed the other Jutsu in his arsenal.
The Akimichi Genin charged towards him cocking his fist back to punch the small blond in the face. Unfortunately he smashed a delivery crate into pieces. He lunged again, only to get a wooden crate in the face. Again and again he attempted to get the black-covered brat in any way he could and every time he hit another wooden crate. Finally, after his fists were severely abused and his face red with fury, he managed to get to within a meter of the small imposter.
Taking the chance, he launched forward in a crude but devastating head butt. Naruto smirked as he made the seal for the Kawarimi once again. Boy was this fun!
The Akimichi slammed headfirst into an iron beam that had been buried under all the crates, but had been unearthed as Naruto constantly switched with them. The Akimichi stood for a full 20 seconds, comically lumbering from side to side as he strove to keep his consciousness. Finally he collapsed, out like a light.
Naruto was panting hard. He had used most of his Chakra reserves for that little stunt, but it had been worth it. He figured he had just enough Chakra remaining for a solid Henge, but first he had one more opportunity he just couldn't pass up! Leaning down to the collapsed ninja's face, he pulled a permanent marker from his small hip-pouch. It was a standard issue the Hokage had given him to keep his money in. Quickly, he scribbled a word on each of the Akimichi's cheeks and then the same on the ninja's back. Cackling, he righted himself and made the seals for the Henge no Jutsu.
Mission accomplished. Now he just needed a place to watch the fireworks!
XXXXXXX
All was normal in the busy market square outside the grand Akimichi clan house. Passers-by stopped to admire the red and brown regalia that adorned every inch of the building, some openly expressing awe and admiration for the clan's tastes. The first sign that anything was wrong inside the building was a slightl rumbling accompanied by a high-pitched whining.
As it grew steadily louder many of the villagers turned to see if they could catch a glimpse of what was making the noise. It seemed to come from the Akimichi clan house. Now that was absurd! Just as the volume reached an unbearable peak, the compound's doors were almost blown off their hinges as four of the infamously round Akimichis tumbled out onto the street, their mouths hanging open, their eyes bulging and tears streaming down their cheeks. Steam rose comically from their ears as they moaned and screamed at the unbearable sensation they were undoubtedly experiencing in their mouths.
Almost immediately, the whole square was in chaos. A good majority of the shoppers didn't wait to find out if it was an attack or something else; they simply dropped whatever was in their hands and ran for home. A small group of alarmed villagers raced to the Akimichis and attempted to find out what was wrong. One brave but stupid villager actually put his hand on the shoulder of the first Akimichi to burst out into the square. Needless to say, the result was explosive.
"CHILLIIIIIIIIIIII!" The Akimichi bellowed as his hand expanded to a larger size and swatted the poor villager away, sending him flying down the street like a rocket. From his hiding place, Naruto felt the displacement of air left in the slipstream of the man's unorthodox flight ruffle his clothing as he rolled around on the floor, barely keeping his laughter to a quiet level so as not to be overheard by anyone.
The four then proceeded to obliterate the square with ridiculously proportioned limbs in their chilli-induced stupor, and Naruto having seen enough to ensure he had a hilarious memory lodged in the back of his skull, turned and made his way back to Konoha's forest. He ripped his scarf from his face and deactivated the Henge. About a minute later he heard another bellow of rage float over him.
"I'M NOT FAT! WHERE ARE YOU, YOU SKINNY LITTLE FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAK?"
Naruto almost choked on his tongue, 'Guess he woke up then!'
Throwing his head back, he laughed to the heavens. That was FUN!
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