He had a dream.
Thinking back, it was the first time that person had appeared in his dream.
As he opened his eyes, a dark, invisible void enveloped his vision. Countless colors, smells, and sensations of existence all disappeared simultaneously. He blinked a few times in the suffocating darkness, then realized he had been dreaming.
Slowly, memories began to return with a sense of coming back to reality. The pitch-black darkness and isolated cell were his current reality.
He recalled the feeling he had just experienced not long ago.
It was a strange feeling. He rarely dreamed. Sometimes, even when he did, he would soon forget after opening his eyes.
But this was indeed a dream.
His sight, hearing, and even touch were still present. It was the first time his senses had felt so vivid and real in a dream. He had heard of dreams that felt real as if they were reality, but this was the first time he had experienced such a thing. Even when he opened his eyes, it took a while to distinguish between dream and reality.
Where had that person gone?
The body temperature he had felt in his hand just moments ago. The scent of that person's body that had brushed past his nose and the soft skin.
He frowned. He couldn't believe everything had suddenly disappeared, leaving only this
pitch-black darkness around him, where he couldn't even see what he had in his hand.
The world had suddenly turned upside down, and he seemed to have been thrown out of the world where he was supposed to be.
A sudden wave of anger surged within him. It was an anger he had never felt before.
He felt as if something he rightfully deserved had been taken away from him. Things that
were originally his, things he had no doubt were his, had suddenly disappeared from his grasp. And in the place where they should have been, darkness had enveloped.
It felt like living in a dream.
Officer Jeong, with a confused look on his face, said that he had killed someone. They said he had killed two members for a very trivial reason, so they had asked him to spend at least a few days in the cell as a formality.
He didn't remember.
He had killed one or two people, but for some reason, he couldn't remember. But when he thought about it after hearing about it, it seemed that something like that had indeed happened. However, what had happened didn't seem like reality but rather a distant dream.
Alright. It seemed he had killed someone - in his vague memory - but couldn't remember the other one. He didn't remember what had happened. What the first guy had said had offended him. So he had simply done something to erase that discomfort.
But was that really what had happened?
He was surprised. The vague feeling of that time still seemed to linger on his hands. Unlike what happens in a dream. No, he was living in a dream.
He looked at Officer Jeong and clicked his tongue. He must have been quite puzzled when officially notifying him that he had to spend a few days in the cell.
He could see him frowning and the corners of his mouth stiffening. Only then did he realize he had told him to stay alive.
He was extremely surprised once again. Because it was only then that he realized that, for a moment, he had even thought of killing Officer Jeong. It had happened unconsciously, so he wasn't even aware of it.
He thought he had heard things that upset him. Perhaps Jeong didn't know that those words could directly lead to murder. Furthermore, Jeong was an officer.
Yes. That was how he killed them.
He remembered the two men they said he had killed, even though he didn't remember them.
He understood now.
Officer Jeong Changin was an old friend of his brother. He had known him for a long time. And he was also an indispensable person in running the company.
So he had never thought he would be harsh with him. Because he knew that if something
happened to Jeong, it would affect him as well. However, even if he didn't touch Jeong, it wouldn't be surprising if he took the lives of people he didn't even know.
He thought this would bring risks. If this situation continued, who knows how many more lives would be lost at his hands. Surely, as Officer Jeong had said, it would be better if he went to the cell now. He thought it would be better to isolate himself to avoid further trouble, so he willingly agreed.
Jeong Taeui.
He could pronounce his name accurately. But it seemed that person hadn't realized that truth. Because from the beginning, he had called Taeil in an easy-to-pronounce way. Sometimes he would pronounce the name correctly, but Taeil didn't even know that.
But he didn't care (whether Taeil realized it or not). Occasionally, he would call his name and laugh to himself when he saw Taeil respond - "Yes, what is it?" - without realizing.
A long time ago (when they were both young), the boy back then had often emphasized that he didn't pronounce his name correctly and repeated his name accurately. Yet, as time passed,
memories had become so blurred...
He laughed at Taeil's poor memory, and when Taeil heard it, his small head would tilt, and he would ask dejectedly if he had ever pronounced it correctly.
Not bad. It was interesting to see him lost in thought about him. He had wondered if the
current Taeil was the same as in the past, and watching him think about it was amusing.
Before they met, he already knew Taeil's name.
He was a well-known figure in the circle, just as the name he had called once when he was young. He didn't know or expect anything from that name, but many people around him coveted the genius's fortune associated with that name.
He didn't care about that fortune, but he was a bit curious. What kind of mask would the
famous Gil Sang Cheon wear? And when he met him in person, he was very surprised by
how exceedingly ordinary he was.
From appearance, voice, feeling, and even the atmosphere around him, everything was
exceedingly ordinary.
When he came to the Asian branch to participate in joint training as a member of the European branch at that time, the first night he arrived, when he walked into the assigned room and saw the boy saying he came to retrieve something he had left behind, he had calmed down. Others would call it a feeling of disappointment.
However, the very next day, that disappointment was shattered, and interest burst from within. When a guy attacked him in the cafeteria, Taeil had pointed a gun at him to prevent someone from dying.
Taeil's judgment was correct. If he hadn't stopped him, the attacker would have died.
But no matter how correct that judgment was, seeing Taeil pointing a gun at him made him think he was foolish. Taeil surely knew all the rumors about him and had seen the recorded videos of his previous training sessions. Taeil knew well what kind of person he was and also knew that his strength was far inferior to his own, yet he still made such a foolish move.
However, at that moment, his interest in the boy disappeared.
But what Taeil was pointing at him was an empty gun.
When he heard Officer Jeong speak, it felt like he had been struck on the head. And, while still thinking that the person who did that was a fool, he tasted a burst of joy.
So, after that incident, he started paying attention to him. And because of that, he got to know more and more about him. The deeper he delved into this guy, the more interesting he became. It seemed he could only know how interesting he was after thoroughly understanding him over time.
The reason why Officer Jeong Changin and Jeong Jaeui cared so much about him.
He considered the guy's personality foolish, but at the same time, he didn't hate him.
Although he was ordinary, it was clear that he had set standards that a person should follow. Additionally, in his relationships with others, there was a certain standard that was hard to articulate.
It was confusing, he thought.
If that was the guy's personality, then he would be angry with Jeong Changin and him if he found out about it later. He would be sad, thinking he had been used.
Understanding his personality, he occasionally thought about that. And one day, while talking to others and Officer Jeong, he mentioned it. If later his nephew found out the truth, he would be furious.
Then, Officer Jeong smiled with a confused face and said - "He can't." - and sighed.
Even this man - a person who rarely showed many emotions - seemed to care deeply for his nephew. He sighed deeply, feeling a bit bitter at the thought of his nephew resenting him, then said, "Hmm."
"Even if that child is upset and angry with me for a while, in the end, he will still be by my
side. Even if he doesn't like it, that child has no choice but to do so."
"After all, we are family. It's a blessing" he said with a smile.
At that moment, it felt like a cold bucket of water had been poured over him.
Even if he was upset or angry, he would still maintain his relationship with Officer Jeong.
He was determined to do so from birth..
But what about him?
The moment he thought about that, he was confused.
He had nothing.
He had nothing like an unbreakable bond with him.
So, he quickly changed his decision (to become an officer at the UNHRDO Asian branch).
After all, he was still his officer. As long as he was at UNHRDO, he would have to work by
his side.
And one more thing.
The reason why he liked him, even though he thought he was foolish.
He didn't hate people.
Instead of saying he didn't hate, he lived with it as a very natural emotion. No matter what, he would only frown for a moment and then sigh and accept it.
He would grumble, but that was all.
It was the same for him.
He had never shown any dislike for him. He might have felt offended, annoyed, or shocked, but in the usual sense of the word "hate," he didn't hate him. Even if he forced himself a bit and complained that he didn't like him, in the end, he would just give up and say he could do whatever he wanted.
Even more, when he used his strength to force him. For the next few days, this guy always grumbled in his heart, even though he was dissatisfied with the attitude that he should take care of his own life - he must have been very angry. However, in the end, he would just close his eyes, sigh, and come back to him.
So, it would be okay. Even if he was upset and angry, it wouldn't last long. After sulking, that heart would soon calm down.
But then, he became confused by something else.
So, he...
He was confused when he realized that he didn't have any bond with him. And he felt really confused in that situation.
What did that mean?
He laughed out loud when he thought about it.
— He thought he would die of rage that day. "Do you know how much I hated being around you after that day when you just acted indifferent? Never see me again, you bastard."
That day, he left those words behind. With the anger evident in every word about the
resentment he had accumulated all this time.
He couldn't move. Maybe even if his hands were free, he wouldn't be able to move.
His mind was blank, unable to think of anything. His mind was engulfed in an endless void.
That person said they would leave.
That person said... they would leave after an hour, and they would brush off all the
accumulated resentment in their heart.
He stared blankly at that person. He couldn't remember exactly what he said at that moment. The only thing present in his mind was that the person would never see him again, and the fact that they had hated him intensely all this time.
As the memory of that day slowly returned, the words that person had said lingered in his mind, refusing to leave.
Ha. He laughed. Why did it have to be like that? How did things turn out this
way?
But after a moment, the laughter seemed to fade, and then it stopped altogether.
He was angry. He felt a terrifying, intense rage that made his hair turn white, and he could understand what it felt like to have sparks fly right before his eyes.
"I hate you so much. I hate you terribly." Those words echoed in his mind. And with just those few words, the rage within him seemed to surge without end.
He had never been this angry. No one had ever made him this angry.
He thought he wanted to kill him. He thought he should kill him. He was so angry that he
couldn't breathe when that person disappeared, leaving only those words.
He swore he would find him, find him and cut his throat with his own hands. If he didn't, this hatred would never fade for the rest of his life.
However, he couldn't pinpoint his exact location. And during that time, he couldn't control his emotions, as if he were living in a dream. He killed people almost instinctively, without any memory of it.
And then he went to the cell.
One day before he was released from the cell, he had another dream.
He met him in his dream.
Even in his dream, he frantically searched for him. He searched for him for so long, and
finally, he found him.
And in that dream, he repeated the same words: "I don't want to see you anymore," "I hate you terribly."
Even in his dreams, he was engulfed in the same terrible rage that plagued him in reality.
So, he killed him.
In that dream, he killed him. He couldn't remember how he had killed him. The only thing he was sure of was that he had killed him. It was a dream so close to reality.
A dream he mistook for reality.
He had heard that person's voice. He could feel the scent of that person's body. And the
warm, sticky feeling of his blood was still clear on his hands.
It was a dream, not reality. That person was no longer there.
The dream faded away. He was once again engulfed in pitch-black darkness. In that darkness, he hadn't fully awakened from the vivid dream. He raised his hands in confusion. The hands were swallowed by the darkness, but he could still feel the warm drops of blood on them. It must be the blood of Jeong Taeui, who had died by his hands and no longer existed in this world.
He thought he might have screamed. Yes, perhaps he had awakened with his own scream. But that might not be true. The sound seemed to have just brushed past his ears.
—Wake up.
—Wake up, Ilay Riegrow.
He whispered, tearing at the skin over his heart.
Right. That's the feeling.
The dream was similar to the reason he was sent to the cell. Reality that he vaguely
remembered as a dream, with a momentary rage that led him to kill someone without
realizing it.
In reality, he had killed two people as if it were a dream.
In the dream, he had killed one person as if it were real.
And in both cases, he couldn't suppress his emotions.
Ever since that person disappeared, he had lost control of himself.
—Wake up, Ilay. Calm down, Ilay Riegrow.
He shouted many times, the screams filling his head.
He had to wake up from this vague chaos. If not, he would kill him before realizing it and
without being able to control himself.
Then, if that really happened, the terrifying sense of loss he had felt in that dream would once again engulf his mind.
He heard a sound like a cry from deep within his body.
Wake up. Calm down. Ilay.
He no longer thought about what that anger was. The name of that anger didn't matter. He was just angry and needed to control that anger himself.
After that, he had to bring that person back into his arms.
He had to do it. If not, he would lose that person once again.
That was the only thing that mattered to him now.