"Everyone, calm down, calm down! While this Wende is very handsome, he still pales in comparison to all of you! Let's check out his skills first, shall we?"
Kakaya lived up to his reputation as a veteran streamer, changing the stream's entire mood with just a few casual words.
[Alright, alright, if you're so good with words, say a few more.]
[Gotta say, it's true.]
[If this were real life, I'd say this Wende guy is handsome as hell, but sorry, this is AC Station. He's nothing compared to the degenerates in this stream.]
[Lil' Ka, go pour me a cup of tea.]
Kakaya chuckled at the bullet comments. They were still a bit unhinged, but then again, how many AC Station users were truly normal? It was a massive improvement over a moment ago.
For a split second there, he thought he had accidentally opened a chicken farm on AC Station. It felt like in the next moment, a red super mod warning would descend upon his head, blessing him with a seven-day ban.
Kakaya wasn't the only one feeling this way. Other streamers broadcasting Honkai: Star Rail on AC Station also experienced a "catastrophe" the moment they saw Wende's Path.
The smart streamers had already gotten their "chicken farms" under control. The even smarter ones... had simply joined in.
"Aaaahhhhhh! Family! Who gets it?! This man has a criminally reassuring sense of security!" a female streamer shrieked, going completely feral live on air.
[WTF... Streamer, please act normal! You're scaring us!]
[Scared +1!]
[+10086!]
[I'm new here, is this the back kitchen of a KFC?]
[No, you've got the wrong place. We don't sell fried chicken here.]
It was proof that if you were even crazier than your audience, the ones who got scared would be the viewers, not the streamer...
Let's turn our attention back to Kakaya.
Kakaya opened Wende's skill interface and began to browse.
"Mm, his Basic Attack is unremarkable. His Skill stacks a buff for extra healing. It seems his healing output really is plentiful."
He recalled Wende's massive pectoral muscles, straining against the fabric of his clothes. Even though they were fully covered, their astonishing contours were still visible.
Gulp...
It was fine when he wasn't thinking about it, but the moment he did, Kakaya found himself swallowing hard.
Smack!
Realizing what he was doing, Kakaya slapped himself across the face, chanting internally, "I'm a straight man! I'm a straight man!"
[Huh? What was that sound?]
[Sounded like someone slapping their belly. Seemed like it had a good feel to it!]
[Kakaya! What are you doing hiding behind that avatar!]
As everyone knew, the famous streamer Kakaya used a virtual avatar for his broadcasts. But right now, from the audience's perspective, that gentle-looking avatar was frozen in the bottom-right corner of the screen, as if he had disconnected.
[Did his motion capture rig smash him in the face?]
[How would you even move to make it hit you in the face?!]
[Then it must have hit his belly? Is Kakaya playing shirtless?! I'm getting hard!]
[Damn! Dude, you can get hard from that?!]
Seeing the bullet comments flood his screen, Kakaya didn't dare make a sound, pretending that he had disconnected.
If people found out he gulped while looking at another man's chest, his career as a straight man would be over, wouldn't it?
A few minutes later, Kakaya returned to the stream, pretending he'd had equipment issues. Amidst a barrage of disbelieving comments from his fans, he nonchalantly continued to browse Wende's skills.
"Alright, let's look at his Ultimate..."
[Ultimate] Drain the Full, Replenish the Empty: Immediately restores a large amount of HP to a single designated ally and removes one debuff from that ally.
"Oho?"
After reading Wende's Ultimate description, Kakaya raised his eyebrows in surprise.
"Hot damn. It's a single-target heal, but it can cleanse debuffs. That could be incredibly useful later on!"
Although being a single-target heal limited its potential, the ability to remove a negative effect was still excellent. He was a 4-star character, after all. If he were too strong, what would the 5-star healers do?
"Now, let's look at his Talents."
Looking as if this was all to be expected, Kakaya moved his mouse to the Talent tab and began reading the descriptions aloud.
But as he read, his voice grew higher and higher, his tone steeped in disbelief. The bullet comments in the stream instantly exploded, scrolling by at a frantic pace.
"[Talent] Separation, Entry, Exit, Union: When healing an ally who is already at full HP, increases that ally's ATK by 20% of Wende's ATK."
"[Technique] Decide Life and Death, Remove a Hundred Ailments, Regulate the Body's State: Immediately heals all allies. If all allies are at full HP, increases the party's CRIT Rate by 20% for 2 turns."
"[Bonus Ability (Ascension 2)] Acupuncture: Grants the healed ally an additional ATK bonus."
"[Bonus Ability (Ascension 4)] Tracing the Meridians: Healing effects can CRIT."
"[Bonus Ability (Ascension 6)] Five Shu Points: Wende's CRIT Rate is increased by 20%."
Gulp...
This time, Kakaya didn't bother to hide the sound of his swallowing. But no one in the stream was in the mood to tease him anymore. The entire chat had erupted, with everyone spamming the same two words. Even Kakaya himself couldn't help but blurt them out.
"HOLY SHIT!!!! ARE THESE EVEN HUMAN SKILLS???"
[WTF! This is a Harmony character disguised in an Abundance skin!?]
[He buffs his own CRIT Rate? Have some decency!]
[HUH?! HUH!!!? HUH!!!!!!!!!!!]
[And this is a character miHoYo is giving away for FREE?! What? Are they not interested in money anymore?]
[My god, his healing can crit! Dr. Wende, your hands truly bring the dying back to life!]
[I can already see Wende soloing the Simulated Universe. He has healing, buffs, and a debuff cleanse!]
Smack! Smack! Smack!
Kakaya, sitting in front of his computer, had already started slapping his own face.
Although the viewers couldn't see the video feed, they could tell from the sound alone that Kakaya's emotions had completely imploded.
[Teacher Ka! Don't do this, Teacher Ka!]
[I get it, Teacher Ka. If I saw a character this overpowered being given away at the start of the game, I'd definitely think I was dreaming.]
[Did we misread his rarity earlier? Maybe he's a 5-star?]
[5-star? He's a 6-star god!]
[Well, looks like Kakaya's future video guides will have to include a special section for 'with Wende on the team.']
[Hahahaha, just playing Star Rail and his workload has inexplicably doubled! Hehehehe!]
The bullet comments continued to rage on with everyone's hot takes, while Kakaya was snapped back to his senses by the slaps.
He looked at his computer screen again. Okay, he wasn't dreaming!
Staring at the utterly overpowered talent tree, Kakaya leaned back in his computer chair and gave up on thinking.
"Actually... if you look closely, he's not that special. It's just a bit of extra attack and crit rate, that's all. What's the most important thing for a character in Star Rail? Their unique identity! This is just an ordinary character without any major unique features, so the developers just gave him some compensation... Yes! Just compensation!"
After talking himself down with this string of nonsense, Kakaya sat back up at his desk. Ignoring the chaotic storm of comments, he resolutely clicked the mouse on Wende's Eidolon screen.