Jester wandered deeper into the church, his eyes roaming across the high arches, the solemn paintings, and the faint glimmer of candlelight. Velmoro followed behind him in silence, matching his slow, meandering steps.
Left… right… right again… then left.
Before he realized it, he had already taken twenty turns.
"Hmm…" Jester muttered, his voice echoing faintly. "I'm bored."
He yawned lazily, then frowned.
"But seriously, why is there even a church in a city like this?"
He rubbed his chin, glancing at the sacred murals that lined the walls.
"The only thing that makes sense," he whispered, his grin slowly curling, "is that it's just a cover for something darker."
That thought sent a spark of excitement through him. His feet moved on their own now, guided purely by instinct until he found himself in a dim corridor he didn't recognize.
Two men stood at the far end, cloaked in brown robes, their faces hidden beneath deep hoods as they spoke in hushed tones.
"Lord Cardinal Ambrose Valerius will complete his mission tomorrow," one said.
"At night," the other replied.
"He'll begin the ritual, the one to awaken the being who will lead us to victory."
Jester tilted his head, eyes narrowing in amusement.
Then, as he watched, one of the men pressed down on a candleholder.
Click.
A section of the floor slid open, revealing a hidden passage beneath the church.
Jester glanced at Velmoro, a wide grin stretching across his face.
"Well, well," he whispered. "Looks like we've just stumbled onto something fun."
As they wondered what to do next, another man—dressed in the same style but with a red robe—rushed into the hall.
"Where did the others go?" he muttered, looking around in confusion.
"I should send my message… If only I'd taken a dump at My Lord's place… damn my impatience."
Jester and Velmoro exchanged glances.
A sly grin crept onto both their faces.
In sync, they whispered, "You know what I'm thinking?"
Before Velmoro could answer, Jester was already moving, silent as a shadow.
He crept up behind the robed man.
"Who are you—"
"Maintenance," Jester smiled. "Spiritual maintenance."
Crack.
"Without hesitation, he drove his knee straight into the man's most sacred spot, the 'eggs.'
The poor man collapsed with a strangled gasp; he didn't even have time to react, let alone see who had hit him."
Jester whistled softly. "Guess your Lord won't be blessing you with children anymore."
"I'm sorry for making you single, my friend. But if you have children and a wife… sorry for making your kids orphans and your wife a widow. What can I say?"
He paused. "Wait a second, let's see if you have a photo of her."
He removed the man's necklace and opened it.
"Damn, man, is that your wife? You should've thanked me while you were alive. If you had married a dog, it would've been more beautiful."
He tossed the necklace behind him.
He dragged the unconscious man to the corner and leaned him against the wall, removed his red robe, and wore it himself.
"I look good in red. Shame it's a limited edition."
After kneeing the man, Jester tilted his head.
"You heard that crack? That's the sound of unemployment in heaven."
He crouched next to the corpse, sighing dramatically.
"Rest in peace, my crimson buddy. I'll make sure your robe lives a happier life than you did."
Then he pulled a knife from his pocket and killed the man.
"I'm sad. I wanted to see your face when you woke up and realized everyone had left. But if I did, you'd cause us trouble. I'll sacrifice a little fun for the bigger one, my friend."
He drew a happy face on the wall beside the body.
Then, brushing his hands, he turned toward the candleholder.
"Now, where were we?"
He pressed it.
The stone floor groaned and shifted, opening the secret passage once more.
Jester flashed Velmoro a grin.
"After you, my friend. Let's see what kind of holy nightmare they're hiding down there."
"Yeah, sacrifice your friend first. Once I descend, I'll probably get hit with some sacred energy," Velmoro muttered.
Jester chuckled. "Exactly. A proper gentleman always lets his companion take the lead."
Velmoro rolled his eyes and descended first, the wooden steps creaking under his boots.
The air grew colder the deeper they went—thick, damp, and heavy with the scent of old stone and candle wax.
Jester followed, humming softly to himself, his footsteps echoing faintly through the narrow spiral staircase.
When they reached the bottom, the faint glow of torchlight flickered across the walls, revealing ancient carvings—distorted faces, twisted symbols, and prayers written in a language neither of them understood.
Velmoro muttered, "This place doesn't look like a church basement."
Jester grinned. "Depends on what kind of god they worship."
They moved forward, passing wooden tables covered with scrolls, jars of dark liquid, and strange metal instruments. In the center of the chamber lay a circular altar, its surface marked with dried blood and a single unlit candle.
"Lovely interior," Jester said, crouching beside it. "Really brings out the sacrifice chic."
He reached out and touched the edge of the altar. It pulsed faintly with a crimson glow.
Velmoro stepped back. "That's not normal."
"It wouldn't be fun if it was normal, Velmoro."
Then footsteps echoed above them.
Jester froze, eyes darting toward the staircase.
More voices—muffled, hurried.
The other cultists had returned.
"Guess we've arrived at our destination."
As he climbed the stairs, he saw two rows opposite each other, forming a path for him.
Jester's mind worked quickly. He realized the situation: he had killed the man who was supposed to give the speech, and now he had to take his place.
As the cultists raised their heads in awe,
Jester spread his arms wide like a preacher bathed in candlelight.
Using the very voice of the man he'd killed, he began,
"Good evening, sinners! I'll be your false prophet for tonight."
Somewhere behind him, Velmoro muttered,
"We're so going to hell for this."
Jester just smiled, eyes gleaming with mischief.
"Already there, my friend."
--------------------
Don't forget to leave some comments and read my best work, Shoujo Hater — it has 43 chapters, and it's better than Jester.