Douglas turned to Dumbledore and asked,
"So, does this mean we can finally clear out the basilisk from the Chamber of Secrets?"
Harry felt as if he'd just stumbled onto some astonishing secret—one that, unmistakably, had everything to do with him.
Dumbledore glanced thoughtfully at Harry, then asked,
"Douglas, do you have a plan?"
The question caught Douglas off guard, and he couldn't help but bristle a bit—it sounded as if he'd been plotting something from the start. Still, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a piece of parchment, covered in scribbled sentences.
He handed it to Dumbledore.
"These are all the Parseltongue phrases I could think of that might open the Chamber or release the basilisk. My idea is to have Harry read each one in Parseltongue, record them, and then play the recordings back later. That way, Harry won't have to risk going into the Chamber himself."
Before Dumbledore could respond, Harry jumped in, sounding indignant. He'd picked up on the implication—his Parseltongue was just a key, and here he was, the original, yet Professor Holmes wanted to use a copy. How insulting!
"Professor, I don't really know anything about a Chamber or a basilisk, but I want to help! There's no need to record my voice—I'm a Gryffindor, remember? I'm not afraid of a bit of adventure… Besides, Hogwarts doesn't allow Muggle electronics anyway…"
Dumbledore watched the exchange like a seasoned referee, then turned to Douglas with a smile.
Without missing a beat, Douglas pulled a compact radio from his robes—a product he'd spent fifty system points on. It was incredibly handy, able to pick up the Wizarding Wireless Network and, more importantly, it could record. He hadn't bothered to magically modify Muggle tech—vinyls required mechanical recording, tapes were too easily scrambled by Hogwarts' magic fields, and CDs were a nightmare to enchant. The system made life so much easier; no need to waste brain cells on this sort of thing.
Harry stared at the radio in surprise—he recognized it instantly, especially the telltale telescoping antenna. He'd seen a big wooden radio at the Burrow that could pick up wizard broadcasts, so he knew magical radios worked at Hogwarts. But as far as he knew, radios didn't record. He was puzzled.
Douglas explained,
"This is a magically enhanced radio. It's not just a radio, though—when I made it, I added a little feature: it can record up to thirty minutes of audio, and the playback is crystal clear. I call it the Multifunctional Magic Radio!"
The system belonged to him, and the radio was a system product, so technically, it was his invention. In a way, he wasn't lying.
Dumbledore accepted the radio with keen interest, admiring,
"What a marvelous little device!
But Douglas, Parseltongue is a magical inheritance. Mimicking the sounds alone can't control snakes, can it?"
Harry nodded vigorously, looking for all the world like the essential ingredient in this plan.
But Douglas promptly doused his enthusiasm.
"We don't need to control the basilisk. None of us are Slytherin's heir—why would the basilisk listen to us? All we need is to open the Chamber's door, and that shouldn't require any of Parseltongue's mysterious magic."
If memory served, even Ron had managed to open the Chamber by imitating Harry's voice.
Harry protested,
"But why not let me try? With you and the Headmaster there, I'd be perfectly safe, wouldn't I?"
Dumbledore paused, unsure why Douglas was so reluctant to let Harry participate. If it was just a matter of opening a door, it shouldn't be a problem.
Douglas replied coolly,
"Professor, don't forget about Hagrid. If we want to clear his name, we'll need the Ministry involved.
But if the Ministry finds out Harry's a Parselmouth, he could become a target—especially if Voldemort returns. Parseltongue doesn't have the best reputation in our world…"
He remembered that in the original timeline, the Minister of Magic refused to believe Harry about Voldemort's return, partly because Harry was a Parselmouth—a fact the media used to smear him for years.
Dumbledore frowned, glancing at Harry.
Harry was getting frustrated.
"I'm not a Parselmouth by choice—I'm only like this because of Voldemort's magic. If we just explain it, people will understand. Dark wizards know dark magic, but that doesn't mean everyone who knows dark magic is a dark wizard. Parseltongue is the same."
Douglas rolled his eyes.
You're really going to use my own arguments against me?
Dumbledore was quietly impressed by Harry's insight.
"I'm glad you have such a deep understanding of magic, Harry…"
Harry caught Douglas's look and hurried to explain,
"Headmaster, that was something Professor Holmes said in class. I just thought it made sense and remembered it—it wasn't my own idea!"
Dumbledore blinked, glanced at Douglas, and adjusted his glasses.
"Of course, it doesn't matter who said it. What matters is that you understand it.
Now, back to the point—Douglas is right. Your Parseltongue shouldn't be revealed just yet. Show your hand too early, and you only make it easier for your enemies to prepare…"
Harry looked bewildered. He had no idea how Parseltongue could be a trump card against his enemies. What did they expect—him to impersonate Voldemort? Actually, that sounded kind of fun…
Douglas smirked. Clearly, Dumbledore's powers of persuasion were as effective as ever.
Dumbledore tapped the parchment Douglas had handed over and continued,
"For now, your task is to translate these phrases into Parseltongue. That way, we keep you safe and help clear Hagrid's name…"
At the mention of Hagrid, Harry immediately asked,
"What happened to Hagrid? Did Voldemort frame him for speaking Parseltongue or something?"
Dumbledore shrugged.
"I'm afraid that's Hagrid's secret to tell. You'll have to ask him yourself—I can't speak for him.
Douglas, how does this device work? Let's get started."
Douglas took the radio, turned the dial to the recording symbol, and pointed to the power button.
"Harry, I'll cast a Silencing Charm around you. Just press start, and you can begin recording."
Harry nodded and took the pocket radio from Douglas. At that moment, the parchment floated over from Dumbledore's desk.
He quickly put the radio down and caught the parchment.
When he saw the sentences written there, he froze, then asked,
"Professor, is this the Chamber of Slytherin you're talking about? There are loads of Slytherin-related phrases here…"
For a split second, he thought of the girls' bathroom that had been mysteriously closed…
Douglas just smiled.
"That's not your concern. All you need to do is translate these sentences into Parseltongue. Thirty minutes is plenty of time. And don't forget—Headmaster Dumbledore can understand Parseltongue."
Harry gaped at him, scandalized. He swore he'd never planned to pull any tricks—this was pure slander!
But before he could protest, Douglas gave his wand a flick. Suddenly, Harry felt himself enveloped by a magical barrier, and the teacup on the table transformed into a snake.
Douglas's voice sounded in his ear,
"Just take your time—read a sentence, say a sentence. There's no rush."
Harry swallowed hard and picked up the parchment. He'd only noticed the word "Slytherin" before; now he saw the full sentences:
"Slytherin is the greatest wizard!"
"Open, I am Slytherin!"
"Salazar Slytherin is the most handsome!"
"…"
"Speak to me, Slytherin—the greatest of the Hogwarts Four!"
In short, they were all outrageously narcissistic!
Harry was suddenly grateful this was being recorded in Parseltongue—if it were his own voice, he'd never say these things, not even on a dare.
Are all Slytherin common room passwords this embarrassing?
Outside the Silencing Charm, Dumbledore asked curiously,
"Douglas, I don't recall any public record of me understanding Parseltongue…"
Douglas feigned shock,
"Professor, you really do understand Parseltongue? I was only bluffing Harry, so he wouldn't get clever and try to trick us!"
Dumbledore's hand hovered uncertainly above the candy box.
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