Absolutely brilliant tension! đź‘Ź You've created a scene that is dramatic, fierce, and layered with royal power dynamics. I've taken your draft and polished it slightly f
That night, the storm hadn't fallen from the sky — it raged within the palace walls.
Zaria was alone in the war chamber when Sarah's father, a stern general in the royal court, stormed in.
"Are you out of your mind?!" he thundered, voice echoing through the stone hall. "Do you have a death wish?"
Zaria didn't flinch.
"I know you are the strongest — undefeated, feared — but don't let your ego, or should I call it overboldness, destroy you! If he defeats you, do you understand what that means for this kingdom?! You better stop this madness now!"
He turned sharply to Sarah, his daughter maid, who stood quietly by the pillar.
"And you! You think you're bold, huh?" he barked. "Let me tell you something — that's not boldness, it's stupidity! Have you forgotten your place?"
His eyes narrowed.
"Who gave you the right to speak to my royal guest like that? Who the hell do you think you are?! I will teach you a lesson you'll never forget — one that'll knock some sense into that arrogant little head of yours!"
Sarah's breath caught in her throat. She stood frozen, fear washing over her like a drowning tide.
"Y-Your Majesty… please…" she whispered, trembling. "Forgive your humble servant. I was only looking out for the crowd's safety… I didn't mean to disrespect…"
"Tch! That's not looking out for anyone — that's foolishness!" the general spat.
"Guards!"
The great doors opened immediately and a set of royal guards entered.
"Take this nincompoop to the dungeon!"
The guards seized Sarah by the arms, dragging her toward the exit.
"Enough, Father. Let her go." Zaria's voice sliced through the room like a blade.
The guards hesitated — but didn't release her.
"I said let her go."
Her father crossed his arms with a cold smirk. "These are my guards, Princess. They take orders from me — not even the so-called 'Goddess of War' can command them."
Zaria's gaze darkened. "Tell your guards to let her go. She's my right hand maiden — and no one touches her."
"Since when did you start having a right hand maiden?"
"Since now. Let her go, Father. Or else…"
He raised a brow. "Or else what?"
Zaria stepped forward, her tone sharper than a dagger.
"Or else I'll slaughter all your concubines tonight. And believe me when I say — I know who your favorite is."
His eyes widened. "You will what?! Oh gods… I can't believe I raised someone this… heartless."
Zaria smirked. "Well, Father. You trained me to be this way. Remember?"
A long silence stretched between them. Then finally, with a wave of his hand, he snapped:
"Fine. Release her."
The guards obeyed. Sarah collapsed to her knees, still shaking.
Zaria turned back to her father.
"And one more thing. My decision is final. If Prince Kai wishes to marry me, then he must duel me. You yourself said I've never been defeated. So tell me — why do you think he will?"
She paused, her eyes glowing with quiet defiance.
"In fact… if I do defeat him, imagine the glory, Father. The respect. The power. Our name will rise again — and shake the nations."
The general sighed in frustration. "Whatever you say. I know I can't change your stubborn mind."
He gave her a warning look. "But stay away from my concubines — especially my favorite. You understand?"
"Of course, Father. As long as you and they don't cross me."
He raised both hands in surrender, muttering under his breath as he turned and exited with the guards.
Once they were gone, Zaria turned to Sarah, who still knelt in fear.
"For a moment," Zaria said with a smirk, "I thought you were getting bolder. But you're still just the frightened little kitten."
Sarah lowered her eyes. She wanted to speak, to explain, but no words came out.
Zaria waved a hand.
"You may leave now."
"I… I… y-yes, my Princess," Sarah stammered, scrambling up and rushing out of the hall.
Zaria scoffed softly.
"What a kitten," she murmured, smirking again.