Touched by the Moon GoddessIsla
Pain. Emptiness. Guilt. Hatred. Repeat.
It's a vicious cycle in my head. Though my eyes refuse to open, my mind is wide awake. I feel a strong energy within me, a vitality and strength that forces me to feel everything more intensely.
I remember everything that happened with clarity. I didn't understand at first, but my good Samaritan, Jayce, has been talking to me; he thinks I'm in some kind of coma and speaks to me. He's told me about himself, about his pack, about how he found me and how he decided to help me. He's told me about the Moon Goddess and destined mates, how it's supposed to be beautiful to find your other half and enjoy the blessings of the Moon Goddess. Fairy tales to my ears! since I experienced firsthand the opposite.
Again, my cycle begins:
Pain: Physical. I feel an energy flowing through me, tearing apart every cell in my body and rejoining them. I feel pain in my heart for losing Ethan. Even though he doesn't deserve it, I feel that pain deep inside. Now I hate the smell of cinnamon and honey together.
Emptiness: I feel incomplete, broken without my baby. That piece of me can never be replaced.
Guilt: For not being able to protect my child, from his own father.
Hatred: For Ethan, for forcing me to kill my child, for choosing another woman's child and building his perfect life on the blood of my child. I hate him for never giving me or my child a chance. I hate him for making me feel pain at losing our bond.
Second Week
I can't move; my body refuses to obey my will, but I feel everything without any anesthesia, and in reality, I prefer it that way. I no longer wonder why. Instead, I decided to get to know my enemy, to know his motivations and understand how I can bring him down when the time comes.
A prayer: "Moon Goddess, if you truly exist, allow me to bring justice for my son. I understand I don't have much in my favor, that my enemies are powerful, but didn't they defy you too?"
Silence. No answer, like all previous pleas to any deity.
Doctor Sabina has also come to see me; she has always been very kind to me. Apparently, she is also a wolf shifter. She says she arranged everything at the hospital so I won't lose my job. Apparently, the hospital owners are also wolves—who would have thought! I can't help but wonder, "How many of my acquaintances are shifters too? Could anything have changed if they had told me about this before?" Unanswered questions. In real life, "what ifs" don't exist; they are merely a comfort for shattered souls.
Third Week
Just when I thought of giving up on the wolf deity, an answer, or so I believe: an answer in the form of a dream, unless this situation has finally made me lose my mind.
In my dream, I held my son, a beautiful boy with green eyes like his father's and brown hair and fair skin like mine. His tiny pink lips and angelic smile, his scent of flowers and honey; beautiful, peaceful, overflowing with love. I could feel the same energy that is now in my body flowing through his.
A voice in the air (the Moon Goddess, I suppose): "My dear, I regret what happened; it wasn't supposed to be this way. You were the perfect mother for my chosen one, bringing love and kindness into his life. What happened is not your fault. Your son is not gone from your side, not entirely. He still protects you, he is by my side, and he sees your tears and your love, he prays and yearns for your happiness, your peace. The gifts bestowed upon your son are kept within you and will remain until you desire, it is your choice. These gifts are destined to save the entire wolf race; their corruption prevented them from coming into the world as they should have. Now you have the option to end the entire race or to give birth to the chosen one who will lead it. This time, you choose whether or not to accept the new bond that has been created for you at the request of your loving son. Whatever you decide, you will be well. Your body is getting used to the power within you; you will always have a part of that power. Soon you will awaken, and in a few days, you will be able to clarify your destiny. Remember: you have the power to rewrite your destiny. You will be called 'Touched by the Moon Goddess'."