Cold. And shaking.
A bumpy, hard surface pressed beneath him, making Zunzun shift uncomfortably.
When he came to, he found himself lying on Darkness's back. Dawn had already broken.
Feeling movement behind her, Darkness asked with concern, "Zunzun, you're awake. Are you feeling better?"
"What happened to me?"
He only remembered encountering an evil spirit in the cemetery last night. Everything after that was a blur.
"Zunzun, you suddenly went crazy. Your magic power and stamina were completely drained, and your brain almost burned out! I cured you, so you'd better thank me!"
Aqua ran over, positively glowing with self-importance.
Zunzun gave a weak half-smile. "Oh… oh… Thanks. I'll treat you to some bubbly wine when we get back."
The idiot goddess might be an airhead, but she wasn't one to outright lie. Since no one else corrected her, he guessed she was telling the truth — which meant he must have really gone overboard last night.
"It's fine as long as no one was hurt."
"Well…"
"How should I put this…"
Megumin and Yunyun exchanged uneasy glances.
Zunzun tensed. "Did I… accidentally hurt a passerby? How bad was it? Are they okay?"
"No passerby, but…"
Darkness's eyes flicked toward a figure walking ahead.
He was about Zunzun's height, dressed in a tattered black-and-green coat. His chest and wrist armor were scorched and worn, and atop his head was a poofy brown-and-black afro. Thin wisps of strange smoke curled from his body, giving him an oddly comical look.
Afro?
Zunzun should have recognized such a distinctive hairstyle… but he didn't recall anyone in the guild looking like that.
"Who's that?"
"Uh…"
For some reason, the question made everyone go quiet.
The man turned his head. Tears streamed down his face, but there was no anger in his expression — only a slight furrow to his brows.
From the upper half of his face, he looked like a man wasting away from illness. But the lower half… was twisted into a strained, unpleasant smile. The large bags beneath his eyes — no doubt from countless sleepless nights — seemed to sag further under the constant flow of tears.
"Wa—"
Zunzun's guilt flared. "Don't cry! I'm sorry! This is my fault!"
"No," Megumin said, covering her mouth to stifle a laugh. "Kazuma was hit so hard by lightning magic that he can't control his tears anymore. He just cries every so often… Look at those huge bags under his eyes."
"Yeah… puchi puchi — serves you right, Kazuma! That's what you get for stopping me from purifying that lich!" Aqua snorted.
Darkness and Yunyun stayed quiet, but both let out small chuckles.
Satou Kazuma had officially become the butt of the joke.
"Enough! Who caused this!?" Kazuma snapped. "Stupid Aqua, heal me! The wind and dust are making me cry even more! And this afro looks ridiculous!"
"I refuse! Kazuma, just go back like this and let the guild laugh at you!" Aqua shot back.
But she eventually relented and healed him.
"So, where are we going now?" Kazuma asked. Normally, they would've split up after a mission, but the fact they were still traveling together meant there was more work ahead.
"We're going to find Wiz," Yunyun explained.
It turned out the black-robed figure they'd run into the previous night was actually Wiz, who regularly visited the cemetery to cleanse spirits — a fact that revealed her true identity as a lich.
Once healed, Kazuma immediately turned on Aqua. "This is all your fault! If you hadn't set up that magic circle in the cemetery, the evil spirits wouldn't have spread!"
"No way, it's got nothing to do with me! And besides, a lich pretending to be kind should be purified! Kazuma, you should've helped me!" Aqua shot back, though her tone carried a trace of guilt.
After they finished clearing the spirits, Aqua dismantled the magic circle.
Yunyun continued, "Then Ms. Wiz said she had a commission for us, so we're heading to her shop now."
They arrived in front of Wiz's Magic Item Shop.
"The lich's appearance in this town is definitely suspicious! Just you wait — I'm going to purify her!" Aqua declared, then stormed in.
"Hey! Don't cause trouble!" Kazuma shouted, chasing after her.
Zunzun, still riding on Darkness's back, entered with Megumin and Yunyun.
"Come out, lich! Where are you hiding? Come out and die!"
Aqua's voice boomed through the shop the moment they entered.
From behind the counter came a timid, trembling voice. "A-Aqua-sama, please calm down, I—"
"Go to hell! God Fist!"
"Wait a moment!"
Kazuma darted in to stop her before she could land the blow.
Zunzun took a seat and glanced around. The shop hadn't changed — small, but warm and welcoming.
Wiz spoke up. "First, congratulations on defeating Mr. Beldia, the Headless Knight. He was one of the most skilled swordsmen among the Demon King's officers."
"…Huh? Sounds like you knew Beldia?"
"Ah, didn't I mention? I'm an officer in the Demon King's Army."
"—Arrest her!"
She barely got the words out before the idiot goddess lunged at her.
When they'd driven Beldia away before, Aqua had been overjoyed at the bounty — but when she learned that defeating a Demon King's general could net 300 million eris, she'd been kicking herself ever since for letting him go.
Now, with another general right in front of her, she clearly saw her "second chance."
"That's not true! I was only commissioned to maintain the barrier around the Demon King's castle! I've never harmed a human! The title of 'general' is just ceremonial! Even if you beat me, you won't get a bounty!" Wiz pleaded desperately.
Zunzun stepped in. "Alright, Aqua, don't embarrass Wiz. She's never harmed humans — I can vouch for that. In fact… people should be grateful to her."
"Grateful?"
Kazuma tilted his head. Clearly, there was more to this story.
After more convincing, Aqua reluctantly backed off.
But—
"Hey, lich! A customer's here! Don't you know to serve tea? Or should I cleanse you?!"
"S-sorry! Right away!"
Aqua barked orders like a mob boss, and the timid Wiz scurried to the back to prepare tea.
Kazuma bit back a comment and turned to browse the shop.
The counter displayed an assortment of magical goods… most of which were disasters waiting to happen. Potions that exploded when opened. Potions that exploded on contact with water. Potions that exploded when heated.
"…Do people actually buy these?" Kazuma muttered.
As he browsed, one cabinet stood out — stocked with only a few bottles: energy potions and skill point potions.
"…Skill point potions!?" His eyes lit up, and he reached for one—only for Zunzun to grab his shoulder.
"Hold it. You can touch me, but not these."
"…Huh?"
"Because I made them."
Zunzun explained his business arrangement with Wiz.
"Seriously? Wait—200,000 eris for an energy potion? Two million for a skill point potion!? Zunzun, can you make other advanced potions?"
"Of course. I can make any advanced potion."
Kazuma's mind began whirring with schemes.
Wiz returned with tea and snacks, which everyone devoured eagerly after the exhausting night.
When they'd finished, Zunzun asked, "Ms. Wiz, about that commission?"
"Yes, actually…" Wiz explained that the owner of a mansion in town had been possessed by an evil spirit and was seeking an exorcism.
"That gentleman was a devout member of the Eris Church for generations, but some time ago, he was persuaded by members of the Axis Cult to convert. I heard he originally planned to move to the capital, but after they convinced him, he settled in Alcanretia instead."
"…Huh?"
Zunzun froze as the pieces clicked together — Aqua's magic circle, the possessed gentleman, the Axis Cult's "persuasion," and his move to Alcanretia…
He clutched his head.
"—Ahhh!"
"Zunzun, what's wrong!?"
"Nothing. My brain's just telling me not to think about it any further…"
This had "set-up" written all over it.
It's fine to scam her… but to scam her money too!?
Kazuma ignored Zunzun's muttering. "So Wiz wants us to handle it? If that's the case, why not go yourself, Wiz?"
"Well…" Wiz rolled up her sleeves, revealing her wrists — now partially transparent. Thanks to Aqua's rampage last night, she'd nearly been purified and was in no condition to deal with any spirits.
Kazuma sighed.
-End Chapter-
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