Zunzun relayed the identity of the Demon King's Army general and his purpose for coming to Axel to the guild receptionist, who left with a worried look on her face.
She must have gone to ask for help from the kingdom's high-level adventurers. After all, this town was mostly populated by novice adventurers, and no one here could stop the Dullahan.
But none of this concerned him.
For the next few days, Zunzun searched for a suitable place to live.
Adventurers generally didn't buy houses. Those with money lived in inns, while those without lived in stables. Though the difference was stark, it was common practice.
But Zunzun couldn't do either.
He couldn't make potions in an inn, and he couldn't stay in the stables permanently. Basic potions were fine, but high-level potions required complete quiet and safety.
What if a flood near the stables ruined his potions?
He longed to move into the castle after the Dullahan was expelled, but Megumin refused, disliking the distance to town.
"Hey, hey, hey, aren't the prices in this town kind of ridiculous?"
Zunzun was stunned by the outrageous cost of homes. To craft magic tools, he needed a workshop, a warehouse, and additional space, which had pushed his budget higher.
He thought 2 million Eris would make him rich, but it was far from enough.
Why was a house with a yard 5 million Eris? And did it really double if it had two floors? How did this world calculate prices?
Housing in the city was expensive. He wanted to return to the countryside.
Of course, there was one advantage: there were no zoning rules. He could do whatever he wanted with the property after buying it, even demolish and rebuild.
The only downside was that he couldn't afford it.
Just as Zunzun was wondering if he hadn't worked hard enough—
"Zunzun, could you please join me on a mission?"
Kazuma approached him.
They were accompanied by Aqua and Darkness, seemingly forming a temporary team. It wasn't clear if they had ever gone on a mission together before, but their helplessness was obvious.
"But… a quest?" Zunzun asked curiously. "Didn't you make a killing at the Cabbage Harvest Festival? You don't need to take on a quest so soon, do you?"
"Actually, it's Aqua."
Kazuma explained with a tired look.
Aqua had helped during the Cabbage Harvest Festival and had caught a lot of cabbages—actually, she'd mostly caught lettuce. She assumed she'd become rich and borrowed heavily from the guild. Now she was still paying it back.
I forgot. The stupid goddess has horrible luck.
"So, what's the quest?"
"This."
[Purify the Lake]
Looking at the request form, Zunzun fell into deep thought.
The water pollution was caused by a landslide, which was caused by Megumin's explosion magic. But Megumin didn't use it that often… Wait, wasn't she exploding something every day?
And it wasn't just her—Zunzun did it too.
He remembered how he'd altered the terrain when he'd been targeted by the Bloody Flying Squirrel.
Kazuma pointed at the form and said, "Look at this. I came to you because there's a Brutal Alligator living there. That name sounds nasty, so I wanted backup."
Indeed, Brutal Alligators usually lived deep in the forest, but with the Dullahan occupying the castle and driving the monsters out, it was no surprise they'd relocated to the polluted lake.
It all worked out, somehow.
"So, Kazuma, what's the plan?"
"Aqua says she can purify the lake. I'll borrow a cage from the guild and toss her in like a tea bag. That way, even if the alligator attacks, she'll be safe inside."
That actually made sense.
Zunzun rubbed his brow and asked, "Isn't that a solid plan? Why drag us along? More people means less money to go around."
"That's true, but it's just insurance."
Kazuma scratched his head. "You know Aqua has no attack power, and Darkness is just a tank. If something goes wrong, I can't handle it alone. Besides, it's not like I owe the debt, so why should I care?"
Classic Kazuma.
"Hmm… okay."
Zunzun agreed. He had helped pollute the lake, after all. Megumin and Yunyun didn't object either—Megumin even hoped to use her explosion magic.
The six of them headed to the lake.
It was a large lake just outside the town, one of the city's water sources, fed by a mountain stream.
The mountainside had deep craters, evidence of frequent magical bombardment.
The lake water looked murky and silty.
"Do we really have to do this?"
Aqua said nervously. "I feel like a rare monster in a cage, about to be sold."
The caged goddess looked dejected.
"Hmm… how about this,"
Zunzun said. "Since Aqua doesn't want to be in the cage, let's put Darkness in it."
"…Huh?"
The rest of the party stared at him.
Kazuma waved it off. "No, no, no. Aqua's the one purifying the water. What's the point of caging Darkness?"
"But Aqua just needs to touch the water, right? She can do that from the shore. Meanwhile, Darkness can taunt the alligator from the cage. The monster won't be able to reach her."
Kazuma inhaled sharply.
It was a great idea. Still, he felt a little guilty. Aqua had initiated the mission, after all.
"But… is this really okay…"
"Why not? Aqua and Darkness both seem okay with it."
Zunzun pointed to them.
Darkness blushed and panted. "I do! Trapped in a cage, alligators gnashing their teeth, wanting to devour me… This scenario is incredible!"
"Me too! No way am I getting in that cage!"
Zunzun looked at Kazuma.
If both agreed, who could argue? Darkness got her play, and Aqua stayed dry. Win-win.
"Okay, okay… if you both agree…"
Kazuma finally caved.
Darkness sat in the cage, cheeks flushed. "I feel like livestock on display, waiting for ravenous beasts to pounce on me while you all watch… This is amazing!"
"Miss Darkness…"
Yunyun gave her a conflicted look.
Soon, the cage containing Darkness was tossed into the lake, and Aqua sat on the shore soaking her feet, purifying the water. It would take half a day, she said.
Zunzun decided to create fresh water using magic rather than rely on Aqua's footwash.
Two hours passed.
Still no Brutal Alligator.
Megumin and Yunyun played chess. Kazuma chatted with Aqua.
Zunzun got bored and decided to practice treading water.
He walked across the lake with magic-infused feet.
Kazuma was stunned. "You can walk on water? Is that special magic?"
"It's not magic. Just a training method using magic on the soles," Yunyun explained.
"I see…"
Kazuma looked at Aqua and said, "Aqua, Zunzun looks more like a water goddess than you do."
"What did you say?! I'll show you my divine power!"
Aqua, eyes brimming with tears, plunged her hands into the lake. Waves rippled out. The lake churned.
"Aqua, what are you doing?!"
"Watch! I'm the goddess of water!"
She raised her hands—and a massive hundred-meter wave surged across the lake, heading straight for Zunzun.
Zunzun turned around.
"...Eh? This must be a joke! It has to be!!!"
Too late. He couldn't maintain his magic footing. The wave hit him like a truck.
"See! This is my power!"
"You IDIOT! Look what you've done!"
Aqua puffed her chest proudly—only to get scolded by Kazuma.
Megumin panicked. "Zunzun, Zunzun!"
"Wait! Megumin! Don't jump in—you can't swim either!" Yunyun stopped her.
Just then, Zunzun floated back, bloated like a drowned corpse, a crayfish in his mouth.
"Zunzun!?"
"Are you okay?!"
Megumin and Yunyun pressed his stomach. Water gushed out like a fountain.
Megumin exploded at Aqua. "Are you brain-dead?! Why would you use that much power?!"
"S-sorry…"
Kazuma smacked Aqua on the back of the head.
But that wasn't the end.
The wave had stirred the lakebed, exposing a swarm of Brutal Alligators. They spotted the cage and charged it.
"W-Wonderful! Such aggressive beasts! So close… and yet unable to reach me… This is bliss!"
"YOU IDIOT!"
Kazuma clutched his head.
"Yunyun, cast a spell! Wipe them out!"
"Huh? Oh, okay!"
Yunyun panicked and cast a lightning spell into the water.
"Light of Saber!"
"Ehhhhhhhhhh?!"
Lightning struck the alligators—and the cage.
"Oh no! Water conducts electricity!"
Kazuma slapped his forehead.
Darkness twitched, moaned, and collapsed in the cage, muttering.
"…Incredible…"
She was beyond saving.
Kazuma's face was twisted with pain. After a long silence, he turned to Aqua.
"Aqua, take responsibility and get in the cage."
"Huh?! No way! Why don't we just come back tomorrow?!"
Aqua refused.
But Kazuma grabbed her forehead and yelled, "No way! Because of your magic, Zunzun almost drowned and Darkness was mauled by alligators! Now get in that cage!"
"I don't wanna! I don't wanna!!"
Despite her wailing, Aqua was tossed into the cage and into the lake.
Immediately, the alligators surrounded the cage, their jaws snapping.
"No… No!!!"
Aqua screamed in terror, chanting purification magic like her life depended on it.
Because now, it really did.
-End Chapter-
Visit the Patreon!!
Read 30 chapters ahead, more on the way!
P@treon.com/TrashProspector