Zunzun's words weren't an exaggeration.
Except for Darkness—who was blushing and panting as if she'd just received a reward—Sato Kazuma and Aqua both looked deeply offended.
"Hey, you're going too far!"
"That's right!"
"Besides, how could a normal team have so many great magicians? It's obviously an unbalanced setup!"
"That's right!"
The two of them barked in harmony.
Though they were trying to salvage their image, to Zunzun, it was just a pair of desperate mutts yapping at the moon.
"No, I just think being with you is physically hazardous. After all, you're the kind of devilish man who steals people's underwear for no reason."
"That's still better than not wearing any at all!"
To Kazuma, Zunzun being a proud member of the 'vacuum faction' was an even bigger problem than his own unfortunate compulsion to steal undergarments.
But Zunzun really didn't wear any…
As he glanced at Zunzun's black trousers, Kazuma clenched his fists with frustration. Why hadn't he asked the goddess for a plug-in that could see through clothing? Maybe he'd be witnessing a different kind of scenery right now...
Once Yunyun and Megumin heard Kazuma described as that kind of degenerate, their faces twisted with visible reluctance.
"Hey, come on…"
Kazuma was on the verge of tears.
No, he had to think of something!
He didn't have to team up with Zunzun and the others. But to be insulted and dismissed like this—even by girls—was intolerable. He believed in gender equality, after all.
Megumin and Yunyun both sighed in unison.
"Well, nothing we can do. Zunzun said no."
"Wait, wait, you two."
Kazuma suddenly stood up, his eyes gleaming with scheming light. "You two don't have to team up together, right? Like I said, having too many great magicians on the same team is unbalanced. But if it's just two of you, that's totally reasonable. And, hey, our team has a super rare class—the High Priest!"
It was a smart move: sowing discord to divide Zunzun from the other two. He even baited the hook with the rarest class among adventurers.
However—
"No need."
"Thank you for the offer, Mr. Kazuma, but please forgive us for declining."
Their rejections were swift and merciless.
Kazuma's expression crumpled.
"Why? You're not required to form a team, right? And three great magicians in one party really is excessive…"
"Well…"
"There are reasons, sure. But more than that, we trust Zunzun."
The two answered calmly.
"Zunzun is from a fortune-telling family in the Crimson Demon Clan. He has powerful divination abilities, so we trust his judgment."
"Ah, I see…"
Kazuma suddenly felt a surge of fatigue.
He'd met people like this back in Japan. Scam artists, all of them.
The kind who'd tell you a blood disaster was imminent unless you bought a protection charm—or those who'd claim you were about to win the lottery, then say you got hit by a truck instead…
In short, such people were frauds in Kazuma's eyes. He had always kept his distance. But somehow he forgot—
This was a different world.
A world where goddesses walked around—though Aqua hardly acted like one.
"What do you mean by that?"
It wasn't even Zunzun who was insulted, but Megumin still slammed the table and shouted, "Are you saying you don't believe in Zunzun's fortune-telling!?"
"Ah—I believe! I believe!"
Kazuma held up his hands in surrender, but his perfunctory tone made it clear he didn't mean it.
Yunyun stepped in to clarify: "Zunzun might not be as good as his sister, but his fortune-telling is still very accurate."
"His sister? Wait, could it be… the god-tier fortune-teller of the Crimson Demon Clan!?" Darkness exclaimed.
As a noble, she was well aware of the legendary title. Only Kazuma and Aqua—newcomers to this world—stared at each other in complete confusion.
"…Who are they talking about?"
"No clue."
Aqua was familiar with common knowledge in this world, but even she had never heard of Zunzun's sister. Kazuma, who didn't even have common sense, was starting to get nervous.
Megumin puffed out her chest smugly. "Hehehe, are you scared now?"
Little did she know, she was hyping up her own sister…
"No way! It's all a scam anyway!" Kazuma insisted. "I've seen too many 'fortune-tellers' making stuff up to fleece people for money. Totally untrustworthy!"
"What did you say!? All right, Zunzun, show him what you can do!"
Why did it sound like she was telling Zunzun to send him to hell?
But…
Zunzun grinned devilishly. "You sure? Don't cry if something awkward gets revealed."
Hey, that's my line! Kazuma's face twitched.
Crap. Is this for real?
But now it was too late to back down. He'd talked too much already.
"Fine, fine. If you can do it, go ahead. I have nothing to hide! I won't cry!"
"Don't regret it…"
Kazuma swallowed nervously.
Then, Zunzun brought her index and middle fingers to her temples, striking a pose exactly like those fraudulent psychics he remembered from TV. Just as Kazuma was about to dismiss her as another scammer—
"Oh, I see it."
Zunzun's eyes began to glow red. She stared at him and muttered, "Ah… so that's what happened…"
"Hey… you—"
"Your name is Sato Kazuma. You're 16 years old. A high school student with above-average looks. You're also a 'Reserve Hero.' You came to this world after trying to save a girl and dying… No, wait! The car was going very slowly. She would've been fine. But because of your 'heroic' actions, she fractured her knee."
"Wait, wait… is that true!?"
Kazuma was panicking.
"Then you died of shock. You thought the car hit you, panicked, and passed out on the spot."
Zunzun continued, "Of course, that wasn't the real cause of death. You lost consciousness from sheer fear and wet yourself. You were rushed to a hospital."
"Stop! Stop—!"
"There, the nurses laughed and called you useless. You never woke up again. Died of cardiac arrest."
"Shut up! Shut up!!"
"Even your family laughed before they cried—"
"NO! DON'T SAY THAT!!"
Kazuma broke down completely.
Worst of all, Aqua leaned over and whispered: "You're finished, Kazuma. Zunzun really can divine the truth. You died like such a loser…"
"…I swear, if you don't talk, no one would think you're an idiot."
Aqua's only flaw was that she could talk.
Kazuma's heart was in shambles.
He never expected… they were playing box weapons!
Any seasoned netizen knew: there were two types of people you must never provoke.
First, the old man who's ready to throw hands offline. Second, the one who uses "box weapons"—the kind who'll open your whole life history if you can't win the argument.
Sometimes death is preferable. But social death… that's true torment.
Like right now.
Kazuma stared at Zunzun's smiling face and saw only cruel box energy in it.
"Hiiiissssss—"
He sucked in a cold breath and slammed his head against the table. "Okay! I get it! I admit defeat! Please let me go!"
This was Shinhao-level groveling!
One of Kazuma's few virtues was knowing when to surrender. To him, there was no shame in groveling. He was a natural-born small fry.
"Wait, wait, Kazuma!"
Even Aqua couldn't take it anymore.
Darkness also scolded him. "Zunzun, it's too much to expose someone's past like that!"
"You too."
"What?"
"A female Crusader with visible abs, who at night—MMPHH!"
Before Zunzun could finish, Darkness lunged at him with terrifying strength.
"Haha, Zunzun, you jokester! Abs? Me? As a girl? No way! Ahahaha—"
The more she talked, the harder she squeezed.
Zunzun's face turned purple. He rolled his eyes from the lack of oxygen.
This chick was scary!
"Ms. Da—Darkness! Zunzun, Zunzun—!"
"Let go, let go!"
Megumin and Yunyun panicked.
After a rough struggle, Zunzun finally escaped her death grip. Gasping, he wiped the drool from his mouth and declared:
"In any case! I'd rather jump off a cliff than team up with you!"
Bit harsh.
"…Though a temporary team-up for quests might be acceptable."
There were differences, after all. Zunzun, Megumin, and Yunyun were a fixed team. Others like Dust, Rin, Darkness, and Chris were temporary teammates.
Aqua might be dumb, but she was capable. Darkness had major personality issues, but her strength and defense were real—as Zunzun had just experienced.
As for Sato Kazuma…
Well, if you know, you know.
And so, their first attempt at teaming up didn't go very smoothly.
-End Chapter-
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