CHAPTER 7 - BARATIE: THE FISH-MAN FIASCO BEGINS
The Baratie buzzed with an uneasy tension. News had arrived: Don Krieg, the "Fleet Admiral" of the East Blue, was approaching. Adam had, of course, known this was coming. "Krieg. The man who thought sheer force and a really, really large spear made up for a complete lack of brains. He's like a bull in a china shop, but the china shop is also a restaurant, and the bull just wants all the food for himself. And then he'll probably try to conquer the napkins."
Luffy, naturally, was oblivious to the impending danger, focused solely on the next meal. Zoro was still Zoro, meaning he was probably lost in thought, or just genuinely lost. Nami, however, seemed to grasp the severity of the situation, her money-loving instincts momentarily overridden by a more primal fear.
"Don Krieg?" Nami whispered, her eyes wide. "He's terrifying! They say he commands fifty ships!"
"Fifty ships, one brain cell," Adam muttered, adjusting his jacket. "And that brain cell is probably preoccupied with trying to remember where he left his really big, shiny spear. Don't worry, Nami. We've dealt with bigger idiots. Though I admit, his idiocy is on a rather impressive scale."
Zeff, however, was taking it seriously. He barked orders at his chefs, preparing for the inevitable confrontation. Adam, meanwhile, started making his own preparations. He noticed a few barrels of oil stored near the ship's rigging, and a rather rusty, but still functional, pulley system. And then, there were the cannonballs. Piles of them, ready to be loaded.
"Hmm, what's better than a cannonball that hits its target? A cannonball that hits its own target. Or, even better, a cannonball that just... doesn't fire. Or explodes prematurely. The possibilities are endless when you have a good eye for structural weaknesses and a total disregard for safety regulations."
As Krieg's massive flagship, the Dreadnaught, appeared on the horizon, battered and broken but still imposing, Adam put his plan into motion. He casually sauntered over to the cannonball piles, humming an innocent tune. When no one was looking, he quickly and subtly swapped a handful of real cannonballs with hollowed-out, sand-filled replicas he'd crafted from his own system-generated sand (a slight benefit from his connection to Crocodile, even if his percentage was still low). He also 'accidentally' loosened a few critical screws on the cannon mounts, just enough to cause a slight wobble during firing.
Then, he noticed a large, overfilled bucket of water near the oil barrels. "Oh, this is too easy. It's like the universe is begging me to cause some chaos." He waited for a chef to walk by, then 'accidentally' bumped into him, sending the bucket of water splashing over the oil barrels.
"Oh dear! So sorry!" Adam exclaimed, feigning distress. "I seem to be having a very clumsy day! Hope that oil isn't too... volatile."
The chef grumbled, distracted. Adam, meanwhile, grinned internally. A little water in the oil, a few loose cannon mounts, and some fake cannonballs. Classic.
Krieg's flagship finally pulled alongside the Baratie, its battered crew, including the imposing Gin, staggering onto the restaurant deck, demanding food. Krieg himself, a hulking brute adorned with gold armor and a massive spear, swaggered forward.
"I am Don Krieg!" he bellowed, his voice booming across the water. "And I demand food! All of it!"
Adam stepped forward, a sarcastic smile on his face. "Excuse me, Mr. Krieg. While I appreciate your, shall we say, enthusiastic approach to dining, you seem to have overlooked a few things. Like, perhaps, the concept of 'please' and 'thank you.' And the fact that you just tried to conquer a restaurant. That's a new low, even for pirates."
Krieg glared at him. "Who are you, you insolent whelp?!"
"Adam," he replied, giving a mocking bow. "Vice-Captain of the Straw Hat Pirates. And current purveyor of unsolicited etiquette lessons. You know, for a 'Fleet Admiral,' your fleet seems a bit... dilapidated. Did you accidentally sail through a car wash? A very, very aggressive car wash?"
[SYSTEM MESSAGE: DON KRIEG][LIKE METER: 0%][HATE METER: 15%][ACQUIRABLE SKILLS: BATTLE SPEAR (BASIC STANCES - 10% EFFICIENCY)]
"Fifteen percent hate. Good. He's already annoyed. 'Battle Spear (Basic Stances - 10% efficiency)'? So I can probably hold a spear without impaling myself. Excellent. Very useful for... well, for holding a spear."
Krieg, enraged, ordered his men to attack. Luffy, as usual, threw himself into the fight with boundless energy. Sanji, ever the protector of the Baratie, launched into action with his powerful kicks. Zoro, finally engaged, drew his swords.
Adam, meanwhile, watched as Krieg's men began loading the cannons. He smirked. "Showtime."
The cannons fired. Instead of devastating explosions, there were muffled thuds, followed by pathetic puffs of sand. A few cannons wobbled violently, nearly toppling over. Krieg's face contorted in disbelief.
"WHAT WAS THAT?!" he roared.
"Oh dear! It seems your cannons are suffering from a severe case of 'performance anxiety,' Mr. Krieg!" Adam called out, feigning concern. "Perhaps they need a pep talk? Or maybe you should invest in some quality cannonballs. I hear the ones that actually explode are quite popular."
[SYSTEM MESSAGE: DON KRIEG][LIKE METER: 0%][HATE METER: 30%][ACQUIRABLE SKILLS: M.H.5 GAS (LIMITED RANGE)]
"Thirty percent hate. Getting there. 'M.H.5 Gas (limited range)'? So I can probably generate a small, smelly fart cloud. Excellent. My prank arsenal is becoming truly versatile. Imagine, a gaseous prank! The possibilities are endless, and equally disgusting."
Just as the battle intensified, a chillingly familiar silhouette appeared on the horizon. A lone figure on a small, coffin-shaped boat. Dracule Mihawk. The World's Strongest Swordsman. And the man who would test Zoro's resolve like no other.
Adam felt a jolt. "Oh, no. This is it. The big one. Zoro vs. Mihawk. This isn't a prank. This is a life-changing, dream-crushing, utterly epic moment. I need to be here for him. Even if it means biting my sarcastic tongue for a few minutes."
[SYSTEM MESSAGE: DRACULE MIHAWK][LIKE METER: 0%][HATE METER: 0%][ACQUIRABLE SKILLS: NONE]
"Zero percent for Mihawk. Expected. The man is a statue of cool. This is going to be tough. I wonder if he has a weakness for bad puns? Probably not. He'd probably just slice me in half for the insult."
Mihawk, with a single, effortless swing of his massive black blade, Yoru, sliced Krieg's flagship in half, sending it sinking into the ocean with a terrifying creak. The sheer power was breathtaking.
Zoro, seeing this, was transfixed. He knew. This was his rival. This was the man he had to surpass. He stepped forward, three swords in hand, a fierce determination in his eyes.
"I challenge you!" Zoro declared, his voice ringing with conviction.
Adam watched, his usual smirk replaced by a serious expression. "This is it, Zoro. Your moment of truth. And it's going to hurt. A lot."
Mihawk, completely unfazed by Zoro's challenge, merely raised an eyebrow. "You seek to challenge me? A mere cub?"
The duel began. Zoro, for all his strength and determination, was outmatched. Mihawk fought with a single, small dagger, effortlessly parrying Zoro's three-sword style. Adam felt a pang of raw empathy for Zoro. He knew the pain of ambition meeting impossible odds.
"You can do it, Zoro!" Adam yelled, his voice raw with sincerity. "Don't give up! He's just... really good! But so are you!"
[SYSTEM MESSAGE: RORONOA ZORO][LIKE METER: 20%][HATE METER: 10%][ACQUIRABLE SKILLS: THREE SWORD STYLE (IMPROVED STANCES), A BOTTLE OF FUTURE-FAVORITE BOOZE]
"Twenty percent like for Zoro. He heard me. That's good. 'Improved Stances'! Progress! Now I can hold three things with slightly more grace. And another bottle of booze. My liver is going to hate me, but my stress levels will thank me."
The duel ended, as Adam knew it would, with Zoro's devastating defeat. Mihawk pierced Zoro's chest, leaving him with a deep, agonizing wound. Zoro, in a moment of pure, unyielding resolve, turned to face Mihawk, refusing to be cut down from behind.
"A true swordsman," Mihawk acknowledged, before striking a final, non-fatal blow.
Luffy rushed to Zoro's side, tears streaming down his face. Adam, too, felt a lump in his throat. He understood the pain Zoro was feeling – the agony of failure, the crushing weight of a shattered dream, even if only temporary.
"Zoro, you idiot!" Adam choked out, his voice wavering slightly. "Why do you always have to be so dramatic?! You're going to give me a heart attack before we even get to the Grand Line!"
Zoro, clutching his wound, looked at Luffy, then at Adam. "Luffy... Adam... I... I will never lose again! Never!"
Adam managed a watery smile. "That's my Zoro. Stubborn, determined, and utterly, wonderfully insane. He'll get there. He always does."
With a final, chilling glance that encompassed the entire Baratie, Mihawk vanished as quickly as he arrived. The weight of his presence lingered in the air, a reminder of the power that existed in this world.
Krieg, recovering from his initial shock, used the opportunity to launch a full-scale assault. Adam, shaking off the emotional intensity of Mihawk's departure, refocused. "Alright, Krieg. Your turn. Time to make you regret ever setting foot on this delicious restaurant."